semi-haitus

I am more than a number but this term, my GPA tells me I’m a 3.2. Spend all your afternoons studying, who cares, it wasn’t fucking good enough in the end. I am more than a number but this weekend at the mall I was a size 8. The jeans cut off circulation to my legs but who cares, I’d lose limbs to stay thin. I am more than a number but yesterday afternoon I was a big, red 70 on my paper. I couldn’t find time to study between my tears but who cares, break down in the girls’ bathroom and get back to class, who cares, mental health never meant shit to anyone. I am more than a number but next week I will be ranked top 10 in my grade. Everyone will look at me like I’m a genius, like I’ve broken the barriers of human intellect, they will say “you don’t even study, you’re so smart” who cares that you’ve had daily anxiety attacks since school started a month ago, who fucking cares you’ve dedicated the best four years of your life to this shithole so you could get out and live the next sixty in this bitter world with a few extra bucks at hand, who fucking cares. I am more than a number but right now I am sixteen 10 and 2. I am 12 years of standardized test grades and a GPA out of 4.0 I am nothing but broken attempts to be what they want me to be. I am endless hours of studying and countless tears. God forbid you ever know my name.

"americans are annoying"

if u aint talkin freedom i dont want to talk 

STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM

When you are attracted to people, it’s because of the details. Their kindness. Their eyes. The fact that they can get you to laugh when you need it the most.