Louis Got The Dagger

It’s for U.S. Cellular, specifically advertising how great their streaming service is. You can even , the guy in the ad says, stream hours of grass mowing.

And I go… “wait a minute…that sounds weird…why hasn’t this ad ended yet?”

And I look at the bottom. 

i’m half an hour in

Weekend “shopping” Spree!! 😁😎😏It’s going to be a *great* christmas!

Cumulative Haul!

ʚ Disney store   ʚDonald tsum tsum: $4.95   ʚDaisy tsum tsum: $4.95   ʚ Dumbo tsum tsum: $4.95   ʚ Tiger tsum tsum: $4.95

ʚ Victoria’s Secret   ʚ Dream Angels unlined Pink with Black bow bra: $52   ʚ Dream Angels unlined bra apricot: $98   ʚ Garter panty: $24   ʚ VS Timeless garterbelt: $38   ʚ Pink panty black bow: $12.50   ʚ Pink panty white bow: $12.50   ʚ Blush panty w/ bow: $16.50   ʚ Blush panty: $16.50 ʚ Nordstrom   ʚ Light wash high rise Paige denim: $199   ʚ Dark wash high rise Paige denim: $189   ʚ Hudson dark wash: $198 ʚ Bloomingdales   ʚ Paige dark wash ankle denim: $208   ʚ Joie pink sweater: $298** ʚAmerican Apparel   ʚ Easy Jean: $78

ʚ Kohls   ʚ LC x Disney tulle skirt: $64   ʚ LC x Disney pink dress: $80   ʚ LC x Disney blue dress: $80   ʚ LC x Disney castle top: $40**   ʚ LC x Disney tank: $33** ʚ Free People   ʚ Blue romper: $128   ʚ Pink bra: $48   ʚ White tank: $38   ʚ White bralet: $20 ʚ Anthropologie:   ʚ Royal apothic lip butter: $14 x3   ʚ Smith’s strawberry lipbalm: $6 x2   ʚ Coconut Milk Mango bathsalts: $24   ʚ Goji tarorroco red candle: $10   ʚ White candle: $12 ʚ Urban Outfitters   ʚ Tony molk bunny perfume bars: $14 x4   ʚ Macaron case: $10 x4   ʚ Soy Candle: $20   ʚ Love Poems by Pablo Neruda: $11.95   ʚ Tony Moly eggpore: $16 ʚ Sephora   ʚ Guerlain baby glow: $54   ʚ YSL babydoll lip & cheek: $40   ʚ Urban Decay liquid concealer: $28   ʚ Toofaced Cocoa contour: $40   ʚ L’OCCITAIN Cherry blossom hand lotion: $22   ʚ Josie Maran Argan Oil: $48   ʚ Christian Dior rose lip plumping balm: $28 ʚ Michaels   ʚ Recollections markers: $70   ʚ Prismacolors 24 ct: $33 ʚ Bed Bath and Beyond   ʚ Tea light candles: $6   ʚ fishbowl night light: $5   ʚ 600 ct bedsheets: $80(?) ʚ Sprouts    ʚ  John Master Honey & Hibiscus conditioner: $28    ʚ John Master Lavender & Avocado: $22 total: $2,739 total + tax: $2,985.51 Somethings are marked with ** mean they arent pictured because I have worn them!! I’m in love with my joie shirt/sweater its this super light pink top, I’ll make an ootd pic with it sometime its just so classy and simple, didn’t take a picture because I already wore it!! also the john organic hair stuff is soo amazing, like I usually use salon brand stuff but this has made my hair feel so soft and smooth, its amazing.

The Ulta facial lifting method! ✌❀

Alright fuckers, here is the long awaited facial method break down post at last! Sorry this took so long, I’m a lazy bitch.

I’m actually surprised that I got out and tried it out so quickly, didn’t expect to be able to make it to Ulta that soon but I had a free afternoon/evening and the car so I went for it!

First, I called my Ulta to find out if they had facilities for facials and such and they did! Then I scheduled and appointment for a 5:30 facial. The facial I chose was the Dermalogica Clear Skin Teen Treatment and it’s 25 dollars, no tax or anything.  They’ll ask you if you want to leave a tip for your dermatologist, if you’ve got the moolah do it because it’s a nice thing and it makes you seem even friendlier.  I returned a naked palette for store credit and had them add the money to a merchandise credit card, which I think is re-loadable.

I got there intentionally with about 20-30 minutes to spare before my appointment so I had time to browse around and put what I was going to lift in my shopping bag.  The key to this part is making sure you put what you’re actually going to take at the bottom of the bag and covering it with other bulky, attention grabbing things that will mask the absence of those things after you conceal them.  If you’re planning on using this method to take a lot of things, make sure take enough nonsense items to cover them up.  Thinks like cotton balls, hair things, face masks, even a hair straightener or something bulky like that since it will take attention of anything else in the bag.

Then I walked up to the little counter they had at the salon in the back of the shop and checked in for my facial.  The dermatologist was standing right and told me I was the one my appointment was with, she was a really nice and experienced older woman, so sweet.  There was a teeny little bit of awkward waffling over my bags (I had my regular big ass Zara bag [which she complimented me on, she fucking LOVED it] to conceal in and the bag with the actual merchandise in it) and at first she was going to saw “You can leave your bags out here” and then she realised that made no sense and said “Oh, you can bring them in with you.”  Just be firm about bringing it in with you, don’t even ask if you can, just hold it like you weren’t even thinking about it.

She’ll have you sit at one of the little tables and fill out a form about your skin and such.  Then she’ll take you into the little side room where they do the facial and stuff, explain what your facial will entail and then she’ll leave the room to let you get undress and wrap your towel around yourself.  This is the moment when you’ll conceal your stuff.  Be quick about it because you’ll have about five minutes to finish because she’ll knock and maybe peek her head in to see if you’re ready but do not make a ruckus.  Take of some of your clothes (and don’t wear an outfit with too many pieces) so it won’t seem like you were just standing there the whole time.  Just be focused and efficient and you’ll be more than fine.  When you’re done concealing your stuff, put both bags up on the counter, the merchandise bag behind your bag, and finish getting undressed and put the towel on.

After that, you’re basically done.  From there, she’ll have you lie down on the little bed where you relax to get your facial.  It’s really fun and super relaxing, she’ll cleanse and moisturize your face and massage it, it feels really good.  She told me I had beautiful skin (which is something a lot of people tell me for some reason lmao) and gave me lots of tips on maintaining good skin which included preaching the importance of sunscreen and staying away from harmful UV rays.

After the facial is over, she’ll leave the room again so you can get dressed which is another chance for you to conceal more items if you want (I didn’t).  After you get dressed, you’ll go to the counter and she’ll print you a ticket to pay for the facial with at the registers.  She’ll probably chat you up a little like she did with me.  She had me schedule a follow up appointment, you can choose whether or not you want to do that.  After that, I walked around a little more and found more things I wanted and conceal them in my usual blind spot.  Another SA complimented me on my UO necklace and was ecstatic when I told her I got it recently.  I can’t stress enough how important it is to be nice and courteous to SAs, most of them are good people and it really makes their day, as well as keeps the suspicion off of you as you do your pretty bandit thing around the shop.

the “let me know if you find my chill bc i lost it at HEB” haul

we were running low on groceries?? so we got more??? walkout method is your best friend.

you stroll in

grab a shopping bag.

get all the undies that you want and put them on the bottom. 

grab a shirt or two that you don’t really care about, or maybe you want idk and put that on top. 

add another layer of undies that you don’t necessarily want as decoys.

grab another sweatshirt or some socks and add another layer. by this time, ur bag should be nice an heavy,

if you want, top it of with another layer of bras or whatever. the trick is to make your bag look as big as possible, that way the SAs don’t notice when you take the undies but are focused on all the rest of the shit that you have in your bag,

take into dressing room. 

conceal inside

walk back out

before i sleep, i’m going to type out some things i collected from lift-pros who have deactivated their blogs and adopted into my own routine! i’ll just detail my routine and try to give a few tips at the end so that the newer lifters can have some of the wisdom of those who have left us.

routine: 

whenever i go lifting, i always bring a medium sized purse and a large shopping bag. i gently fold the shopping bag and put it inside of my purse. other than this, i’ll bring:

my magnet and hook (i hide them inside of these hidden zippers in my purse) {some lifters use scissors. same goes.}

a wallet with a decent amount of money (if i have it) in case i get caught 

earphones (personal preference, but i find that music calms me and makes me look nonchalant. sometimes i won’t even listen to anything so that i can appear occupied, but actually be attentively listening around me.)

when i enter my first store, i’ll browse around, examining fabric, price tags, comparing clothes to my body in the mirrors. this is useful for concealing. if you conceal an item of clothing in another, mirrors are so good for checking if you can see it. just look as if you’re checking our your appearance. 

try to take some items without hangers, so that you can put those items onto hangers when you have extras. 

once i’ve taken a couple items i want along with some larger items with pockets (jeans, overalls, collared shirts) i’ll go to a changing room. if an attendant asks me how many items i have, i’ll lie and say 2 less than what i have. if they physically count the items, then i’ll probably only steal one item. if no one gives a shit, then still, don’t be too careless about stealing items. there’s still video cameras. 

***MAKE SURE not to steal a boldly printed/colored item that’s showing in your pile of clothing or the first item that you’re holding. they’ll probably notice it’s gone, or at least there’s a greater risk. ***

in the changing room, i’ll probably take my shoes off so i don’t look suspicious from underneath the curtain. and if the curtain doesn’t fully close, i ALWAYS hold it closed with my body as i detag. a lady once walked in on me as i was detagging and i nearly had a heart attack, thankfully she didn’t see anything. 

after i take the tags off of the items i want, i’ll put the tags into or onto the clothes i don’t want. DOUBLE CHECK FOR TAGS PLEASE!!!! THERE’S CHANCES OF EXTRA HARD AND SOFT TAGS. i’ll put the clothes i detagged in my purse. if i don’t have space, i might wear the item of clothing if it’s small and unnoticeable. when i exit the changing room, i’ll most likely leave one item that has been untouched on the rack outside of the changing room. 

PLEASE MAKE SURE NOT TO LEAVE THE ITEM WITH THE EXTRA TAGS ON OR IN IT ON THE RACK OR WITH THE ATTENDANT the attendant will be touching these items the soonest and it’s pretty sketchy when a tag falls out of a pocket or if there’s an extra on there. 

i usually take the items with the tags and bring them back out to the store, if i’m not lazy i’ll put it back where it came from. i always try to put it in the middle of the rack.

then i exit the store, trying to look calm. 

so you probably noticed i haven’t mentioned the shopping bags yet. this isn’t what everyone does, but i always head to the bathroom and put the clothes i stole into the bag. it works for me because i can’t necessarily pull off walking into my mall with a bag in hand, but if you want to start off with the bag, just put something thin and dark inside the bag to put on top of the clothes you stole. just in case. 

then i hit up other stores! except at these other stores, i can put the clothes i take into the shopping bag.

tips: 

1. always double check for tags on the clothing. this is a given, but really, you have to check for any kind of tag. you might have gotten the hard tag off, but there could still be a soft tag somewhere, or some other lifter could’ve left a tag somewhere. hold up the price tags and clothing tags up to the light and look for chips and shit.

2. HIDE your tools. please. hide them. if the LP sees your tools, you’ll get punished so much harder because you were shoplifting with the intent.

3. DON’T RUN!!! don’t run. if you run, well, it depends on store policy. but if you run, they might tackle you or call the police or some shit.

4. if you don’t have a good feeling about a place, drop the shit and get out. seriously. get out. leave the mall if you have to. give it a little time before you return. just don’t risk it. no item is worth a record, especially since we’re all young with our futures ahead of us.

5. find somewhere to put your tags. don’t be careless. i’ve seen people just leave the tags in the changing room, it’s not necessarily traceable but it draws attention to the fact that shoplifting is prevalent in the store. what i’ve found is putting them inside of purses, pockets is effective. and of course, retagging clothing as well. i usually tag the inner tag on the seam of the clothing. 

6. always be nice to the SA. if they talk to you, they’re just doing their job and being polite. but if they’re following you around a little too closely, they’re probably suspicious of you. 

7. dress appropriately for the store. this is also a given, but don’t wear shit like black hoodies and sweatpants, cause you probably look like a lifter who wants to wear clothing out of the store. also, i recommend changing your appearance up a little.

8. don’tttt please don’t go to one store too much and never buy anything. give it some time. if an store attendant asks, i like to say that i’m just trying on things and i’m going to tell my mom what i want so we can come back. also, don’t always go at like 4:00 on a tuesday. change it up, so you catch different employees at different shifts. 

9. don’t grab a shitton of stuff and then steal a large portion of it. for me it’s usually: stealing one item for every four pieces i grab, two if the SA’s aren’t nearby or paying attention, or if i concealed really well.  

10. you don’t NEED to buy a small thing to alleviate suspicion. i understand the logic, but honestly i’d just get out of the store. don’t stay longer than you need to. 

11. when you’re leaving, don’t rush out. walk sloow and calm like any normal shopper would. i get it. you wanna get out ASAP. but you also don’t want to be sus. fake a phone call if you must. or look at your phone. just be natural. 

12. DON’T BE AFRAID TO WASTE A DAY ON SCOUTING. lifting at a new store is very exciting but sometimes they might have something you’re not familiar with, like at zara, they will scan every single clothing item and make sure there’s a tag when you’re entering and leaving the changing room. when you scout, figure out the layout, security cameras, SA procedures

13. THIS IS REALLY USEFUL FOR ME idk if it’s useful for you but some of the stores i go to have a level for men’s wear and a level for women. often times, the changing rooms on the men’s level will have fewer people and fewer SA’s. if you feel like the SA’s on the women’s level are hardasses about the clothes in your arm, check out the men’s level. 

14. DON’T TAKE WHAT YOU DON’T NEED. don’t be greedy. this is just me, but i take only things i will actually wear. some people boost, so that’s different, but don’t be greedy. stores will probably notice a larger loss in inventory way sooner. pleaseee don’t be greedy. sometimes shoplifting is so easy you think you can get away with anything, but it’s still illegal at the end of the day. only take things you really want. i always look at store websites before hitting up stores so i have an idea of what i want and i have my limits. be smart about it. there’s a ton of big, flashy hauls on tumblr, but you don’t need to compete with others. go at your own speed. 

15. don’t ever underestimate the fact that shoplifting is still a crime. even if you’re a teenager, you’ll be punished. don’t forget that. you can still stick it to the man, just, be careful. 

other methods besides dressing room concealing:

so there’s a lot of other methods out there, especially just on the floor concealing where you put things in your bag or your sleeve. personally, it doesn’t work for me, so i’m sorry i didn’t cover it. i’m afraid of blind spots not actually being blind spots and i’m also afraid of tags. if there’s jewelry i want or something non-clothing, i’ll hide it under the clothes in my arm. this is only if the SA will not take these things from me and count them. so you need prior knowledge. anyways, a lot of jewelry i’ve seen have tags as well so be careful. i’ve taken shoes, bikinis, jewelry, socks and underwear this way ahaha i’d say it’s effective but you need to know your store.