I put a curse on you

you poor thing (derogatory) (sexual)

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

i was actually born as a CD but a wizard turned me into a human to teach me a lesson

My favorite thing about Armand is that, beyond being scary and intimidating in an ancient vampire way, he’s also weird and off putting in a way that feels both hilarious and endearing. He does things that no other vampire in existence would ever consider. Goes through a divorce and proceeds to join AA because of his love for steps and rituals? Brilliant! Deranged! Lovely! Dresses up as Louie’s employ so he can wait hand and foot on the man he’s been secretly in love with for 50 plus years? That’s innovative in its insanity! He’s mimicking human behavior in ways never before conceived of and doing a piss poor job at it! It’s awkward and charming, and ironically, the most human thing about him.

ITS EVOCATIVE! LIKE GREAT BIG HUGE BANANAS EXCEPT SHARP!

how did armand and daniel decide who gets to behead who. did they do rock paper scissors

Im weighing in on the discourse. We need to start putting sea monsters on maps again.

the television program buffy the vampire slayer is absolutely nooootttttt about the power of friendship. its about the tragedy of being surrounded by people who are too uncomfortable with your painful reality to be willing to meaningfully engage with you

transition timeline but about halfway through im inexplicably a cackling green witch for a few months before continuing as normal