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Sadly, this is soon-to-be lost media. I’m going to be uploading the various chapters from The First SOLDIER (part 1 and 2) before Ever Crisis’s EOS in October.
For now, you can enjoy the entire eight chapters of The First SOLDIER at the playlist above.
NERD!ZAYNE TEACHING THE GUYS HOW TO MAKE YOU SQUIRT.
PART ONE HERE PART THREE HERE
CW: Oral, fingering, squirting. 🔞MDNI🔞
"Yeah," Xavier said "Can you teach us how to make her squirt?"
------
The room had gone completely still. Sex and whiskey hung in the air, thick enough to taste. You were breathing wrong, every breath felt heavy, caught in a throat made raw by whiskey and sharp gasps. Zayne's chest felt warm and unyielding at your back, getting up would have required a kind of effort the room didn't seem to allow for.
Xavier's tongue was tracing the edge of his knuckle where your first release had coated him. His eyes had gone almost entirely black, pupils blown so wide there was barely any color left, every bit of that darkness was fixed between your thighs.
Behind you, Zayne exhaled, low and unsteady, the sound catching in his throat before it reached your skin. He hadn't moved back. He had moved closer, pressing his hard cock between your ass, the friction made it clear his medical textbooks hadn't prepared him for how much he actually wanted to ruin you right now.
"That requires an entirely different approach," Zayne's voice was thicker and rougher than it had been. His hands tightened on your waist before he said anything else. Then he bent his head, lips just barely grazing the shell of your ear.
"Are you alright with this? Do you want to show them?"
Your head had already begun to fall back against his shoulder and the whimper that came out of you wasn't something you'd planned.
"Yeah"
His patience didn't leave exactly, but it changed shape, it became something slower. His hand moved from your waist, sliding up until his palm curved around your breast again, broad, warm and unhurried. His thumb found your nipple without searching for it and he began to roll it between his fingers with a steady pressure that sat right on the edge of too much and didn't waver.
"The G-spot," he said, his voice settling back into something that almost resembled composure, "isn't about surface stimulation. It isn't about rhythm either." He pinched your nipple lightly, and your breath caught. He continued as though he hadn't noticed, or perhaps because he had. "Squirting isn't something you can rush. We've spent nearly twenty minutes on foreplay and that's perfect because the entire pelvic region needs time to fill with blood, to become fully engorged. Without that, it won't work."
His thumb moved in a slow circle around your nipple, like he had all the time in the world and intended to use it.
"The targets are the paraurethral glands. Small, about the size of a pea, sitting on either side of the urethra, close to her G-spot. Most people don't know they exist. Most people don't know what they're capable of." A pause. "You're about to learn."
Xavier's voice came quiet and low. "I want to try."
Whatever remained of the quiet, compliant boy from freshman orientation—the one who'd handed you a campus map and apologized for bumping into you—was gone. Completely. He moved forward until he was wedged between your legs, his thighs pressing firmly against your calves.
A cold spike of something, fear, want, the particular overwhelm of both arriving at once, shot straight down your spine. Your thighs tried to close on instinct, a reflexive flinch against the intensity of his gaze, the nearness of him and the reality of what was about to happen. Your knees had barely begun to move before something stopped them.
Caleb moved to the edge of the mattress and closed his hand over your right knee. Not gently. He pressed it down and out over Zayne's thigh, his grip immovable, the kind that didn't invite negotiation. You weren't going to close yourself off. He'd made that clear without saying a word.
Rafayel took your left. His fingers found the inside of your knee and held on with trembling pressure.
You looked down at them through the blur of whiskey and heat.
Caleb's jaw was locked, a muscle jumping in his cheek like he was chewing through something. The flush on his neck had darkened to something almost bruised, creeping up toward his jaw, his breath coming in audible hitches he wasn't bothering to hide anymore. Rafayel had his bottom lip caught between his teeth hard enough to drain the color from it, his eyes tracking every shiver that moved through your body like he was trying to memorize them.
And then lower.
A small, damp circle had bled through the gray of Rafayel's sweatpants. The front of Sylus's pants were pulled tight, a matching wet spot darkening the fabric, spreading slightly every time he exhaled.
"Keep her steady." Zayne's hips kept moving, that same slow roll against you, while his fingers worked both of your nipples at once, rolling and pinching until heat shot straight down through your stomach and didn't stop.
"Xavier." His tone shifted into something clinical "Two fingers, palm facing up toward her navel. Her arousal is sufficient as a baseline, but you need to use the lubricant on my nightstand. I don't want friction, I don't want any tissue irritation." A pause, weighted. "Once you're inside, feel along the anterior wall. There will be a ridge, different from the surrounding tissue. Think of the roof of your mouth."
Xavier reached for the lubricant and coated his fingers slowly, his hands were shaking. Then he brought them to your entrance, just the tips at first, barely making contact, and paused there for a breath that felt longer than it was.
He pushed in slowly.
Inch by inch, the stretch of it opening you around him, his fingers pressing through the heat and slick of you with patience. His eyes had gone wide by the time his fingertips swept up and found it, the ridge Zayne had described, unmistakable, exactly where he'd said it would be.
A cry tore out of you before you could stop it, fractured and too loud. It rang off the walls and you knew without question it had carried straight down the hallway outside.
Sylus shadow fell over you before he leaned down, face unreadable, there was a particular stillness of someone exerting tremendous control. His thumb caught your chin and pressed your jaw down, and then his fingers were in your mouth, muffling whatever came next. You closed your lips around them without thinking. Your tongue found his knuckles and you pulled him in, sucking hard, needing the solid reality of him to hold onto, something grounding while everything else was coming apart.
"Keep it down, sweetie." he said. Low. Almost gentle.
"Like this?" Xavier's voice came from below, strained thin.
He had begun to move, curling his fingers up, knuckles dragging against your entrance with every stroke while his fingertips pressed into the ridged wall above. He went deeper with each repetition. Not faster. Deeper, the hook of his fingers catching on the sensitive texture inside you and holding there just long enough before pulling back and doing it again.
"Slower."
Zayne's breath was scorching against your neck, his fingers never stopping, working your nipples with a precision that had stolen most of your ability to think. Behind you his hips pushed forward, heavier than before, a frustrated grind that he didn't bother to disguise.
"You're skimming the surface," he said. "Press into it. Maintain the motion and add external pressure to the clitoris, combine both. Increase as the tissue expands." His voice dropped slightly. "Can you feel how she's changing around you? How she's pulling you in?"
Xavier made a sound low in his throat, almost involuntary, his head dipping forward. His thumb came down against your pelvic bone and he adjusted his angle, pushing deeper until his knuckles were completely slick. His strokes slowed and firmed, each one pressing up into you with a patience that was clearly costing him something.
"It's getting tighter," he said, voice fraying at the edges. "It's... it's pushing back. She's so hot inside."
"She's engorging, the fluid is building in the glands. You cannot break the rhythm, not now, not for anything. If you ease up even slightly, the accumulation dissipates and you lose everything you've built."
He said it like a warning. Like he was saying it to himself as much as Xavier.
It was nothing like before.
Not the sharp, electric jolt of Zayne's thumb. this was something else entirely. Deeper. Heavier. A fullness that built with every stroke and didn't recede, coiling low in your abdomen like pressure with nowhere to go. Every time Xavier's fingers found that spot and pressed, a wave rolled through you, enormous and terrifying, making you want to beg for something you didn't have words for. You bit down on Sylus's knuckles without meaning to, eyes losing focus, your whole body tightening around a point you couldn't reach.
On either side of you, Caleb and Rafayel hadn't moved. Couldn't. Their knuckles had gone white where they held your legs open, and their eyes were fixed on Xavier's hand, on the way his fingers disappeared into you and came back slick, on the wetness that had gone past the point of containment. It was pooling at your entrance, spilling over and running down Xavier's wrist.
It was Rafayel who broke first.
"Zayne." His voice came out cracked, barely holding together. He swallowed hard, his gaze still locked on the fluid stringing between your skin and Xavier's hand, his body giving him away beneath the fabric of his sweatpants. "She's...fuck...it's leaking. Is she close?"
"She's almost there."
Zayne's voice had lost everything clinical about it now. Whatever composure he'd been maintaining had come apart completely, leaving only this—his fingers digging into your nipples, pinching hard, driving the sensation past the point of bearable while his hips pressed into you with desperation.
"Xavier. Fast circles on her clit, other hand, now." A beat. "Force it."
Xavier looked up at your face instead.
Your eyes had gone hazy, barely tracking, tears gathering at the corners from nothing but sheer overwhelm. Your lips were still wrapped around Sylus's fingers, your chest heaving in ragged pulls, small broken sounds escaping around his knuckles every time Xavier moved inside you. You were completely undone. Anyone could see it.
Xavier saw it too.
He didn't raise his hand to your clit. Something shifted behind his eyes, a flash of something reckless and deliberate, the look of someone who had been quietly calculating this exact moment and had finally decided to take it.
"You said anything I can do with my hands," he murmured, his voice dropping to something barely above a whisper, "I can enhance with my mouth, right?."
His blonde hair fell across his forehead as he leaned down.
"Xavier—" Zayne's voice came sharp with warning.
Too late.
Xavier buried his face between your thighs.
The heat of his mouth hit you without warning.
Xavier's tongue sealed over your clit and the sound that came out of you was strangled, swallowed by Sylus's fingers, barely contained. He didn't tease. He remembered every word Zayne had said, flattened his tongue broad and wet against you, using the full weight of it to meet the pressure building from inside, while his fingers hooked harder and began to move in a rhythm that was merciless and gave you absolutely nothing to brace against.
"Breathe." Zayne's lips found your temple and pressed them there, warm and close. "What you're feeling, the fullness, the urgency, it will feel exactly like a need to release. That's correct. That's exactly right." His breath shook against your skin. "Don't fight it. Bear down. Let your pelvic floor go completely. Let it happen."
You stopped fighting.
You exhaled and let go. Your pelvic floor released and you bore down against the hook of Xavier's fingers, against the wet relentless press of his tongue, and for one suspended second everything went very still.
Then your body locked.
Every muscle seized at once, thighs convulsing against Caleb and Rafayel's grip. They leaned their full weight into your knees and held. Caleb let out a breathless "fuuuuck look at her". You bit down on Sylus's fingers hard enough to feel his knuckles against your teeth, vision narrowing to nothing.
It came in a rush, clear and forceful, spilling over Xavier's chin, across his cheeks, soaking into the fabric beneath you. His fingers stayed where they were, buried deep, riding out every contraction as your body clenched around him in waves that didn't stop, that pulled at him and wouldn't let go.
He didn't pull back. His tongue kept moving through it, his jaw working, his nose pressed to your skin while you sobbed through the aftershocks, open, head falling back against Zayne's shoulder again, with the full dead weight of someone who had nothing left to hold onto.
The room went quiet before you heard the slow, wet sound of Xavier withdrawing his fingers. Sylus drew his hand from your mouth just as slowly, his thumb dragging across your lower lip, catching a smear of saliva and wiping it away. He didn't look away from your face. The darkness in his eyes hadn't lifted. It had settled into something that made it very clear this wasn't over.
Xavier raised his head.
His face was flushed deep, his lips wet, a streak of fluid catching the lamplight as it ran down the line of his jaw and dripped onto his collarbone. He looked up at Zayne.
He looked like someone who had just discovered something he couldn't un know.
"Like that?" Xavier asked. The smugness in his voice was not even slightly hidden.
Zayne didn't answer right away.
He was staring down at the space between your thighs, at the soaked mattress, at the evidence of everything his careful, clinical framework had produced. His chest rose and fell hard against your back, his breath coming uneven against your neck, and you felt it before you fully understood what it was, a spreading warmth behind you, seeping through the fabric of his trousers, pressing into you. Unmistakable.
"Yes," Zayne said finally. His voice was stripped of every careful layer he'd spent the entire evening constructing "Exactly like that."
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❥ pairing: firefighter!sylus qin x pastry chef!reader
❥ summary: “It started with smoke, and a voice that made the panic go quiet. A firefighter who carries her out of the flames — and goes back in for her kitten. She just wanted to rebuild. Find somewhere new. Keep her kitten and herself safe. She didn’t expect him. She didn’t expect any of this. But the best things don’t always ask for permission. And falling in love, as it turns out, is no exception.”
❥ genre: fluff + angst + smut (18+ mdni)
❥ word count: 100k+ (I look away 🫣 I am insane and not normal about sylus <3)
❥ status: completed
❥ warnings/tags: alternative universe, firefighter!lads au, idiots in love, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers, reader/mc experiencing a fire, smoke inhalation, mild hurt/comfort, thunderstorm, storms, slow burn, very long fic, emotional/sensitive!reader, playful banter, sylus the rage baiter. kitty and the lads shenanigans. slice of life, mutual masturbation, size difference. reader is shorter than sylus. reader is always audhd coded in my writing but anyone can read it. sylus is soft for reader, flirting/teasing, inexperienced/virgin!reader. dry humping, grinding, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, piv sex, soft!dom sylus, just in overall soft!sylus. sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, overstimulation, size kink, a bit of daddy kink oop!?, oral fixation, breeding kink, praise kink, pet names (kitten. sweetie. sweetheart etc.), pleasure dom!sylus, aftercare.
⟶ a/n: HIIIIII here I am with a new (well technically it’s not new) Sylus fic hehe. I have been writing this for months but the story is as of the day I’m writing this complete! this fic means the world to me and goddddd I’ve been working on this for some time. this is a love story about mc who’s never been in love and one day she falls in love with a sexy firefighter. side characters are also present in the story and the other boys/li too! 🥰 I mainly wrote this for myself and my bestie Leah <3 and she’s also inspired (or basically this side character but u know… fictional hehe) me to write her and include her in the story too. leah <3 you inspire me every day and you mean so much to me. I don’t think I’d ever finish this story or even continue writing if it wasn’t for you and our other shared friends. you guys truly give me strength to keep going. anyways I love you guys 🥰🫂💖🥲 I genuinely hope whoever reads this loves this just as much as I loved writing it! also the title of the fic is inspired by the song into you by ariana grande 🩷
this goes without saying, but if you don’t like it don’t read it <3
AO3 • masterlist
San Francisco in the late evening had a particular kind of quiet that you’d never quite managed to find anywhere else.
Not silence — the city was never truly silent — but a settling. The way the fog rolled in from the bay and softened the edges of everything: the streetlights blurring gold, the distant clang of a cable car, the muffled laughter spilling out of a restaurant as its last table of the night lingered over wine. The hills that had punished your calves every single morning for three years now felt, somehow, gentler at this hour. Like the city was breathing out.
You loved it. You loved it in the way you loved all quiet, unhurried things — deeply and without apology.
Your feet were protesting by the time you turned onto your street, the particular ache of someone who had been standing since four in the morning settling into your shoes with cheerful vengeance. There was flour somewhere in your hair that you’d given up trying to locate around hour eleven, and your apron — abandoned on its hook at Miel — had probably taken most of the day’s evidence with it, but your forearms still wore a fine dusting of it at the creases of your elbows, and there was a smear of raspberry coulis on the inside of your wrist that you’d missed in the wash-up.
You didn’t particularly mind.
Fourteen hours. A batch of croissants that had finally, finally cooperated after two failed attempts at laminating the dough. A birthday cake for a little girl named Sophie that had taken the better part of the afternoon and that you were quietly, fiercely proud of. A broken display stand, a near-miss with a tray of financiers, and Leah — your most senior employee and your closest best friend — singing along, off-key and without shame, to whatever was playing through the bakery speaker while she restocked the cases.
A good day, in other words. Tiring in the bone-deep way that only good days could be.
You climbed the front steps of your building, dug your keys from your bag, and let yourself in.
Mrs. Beaumont’s cats found you before you’d fully cleared the door.
“Hi, babies,” you said, dropping to a crouch in the entryway with the automatic ease of someone who had done this every evening for two weeks now. Mochi wound himself around your ankles, motor already running; Biscuit regarded you from across the room with the specific aristocratic skepticism he reserved for anyone who wasn’t his actual owner. And then, picking her way carefully across the floor in her soft, rolling wobble — each step considered, each small paw placed with a deliberateness that you found endlessly endearing — came Stella.
“There she is,” you said softly.
She blinked up at you with her mismatched eyes, one pale blue and one gold, and you reached down and let her sniff your fingers before scooping her up, very gently, the way you always did. She was white as fresh cream and had a personality that could only be described as aggressively curious. She was so small. Even for five months old, she was so small, her legs a little shorter than they should have been, her whole compact body fitting neatly against your palm. The vet had explained the dwarfism with calm, clinical kindness, and Mrs. Beaumont had received the news with the equanimity of a woman who had seen everything and loved her cats regardless — but you, the first time Stella had wobbled across the floor toward you instead of away, had felt something shift very quietly in your chest and had not fully shifted it back.
You fed all three of them, tidied the water bowls, ate some left overs from last night and made yourself a cup of tea that you drank standing at the kitchen window watching the fog thicken over the rooftops.
Then you showered, changed into your softest pajamas, and sat on the sofa for approximately seven minutes before your body voted unanimously for unconsciousness.
The candle on the side table was still burning when you fell asleep.
It was vanilla-scented — a gift from your mother, sent in a box with a note that said for ambience, sweetheart, your apartment looks too sterile in photos. It needs to be cozier — and it threw a warm, amber light across the room that was genuinely lovely and that you’d fully intended to blow out after your tea.
You forgot.
And Stella, as it turned out, had been watching the flame with great interest for some time.
‧₊˚ ☾. ⋆˙⟡♡
You woke to the smoke alarm.
For a long, disoriented moment you simply lay there, blinking at the ceiling, your brain cycling slowly through the fog of deep sleep trying to locate the source of the sound. Fire alarm, it supplied eventually, with the unhurried authority of a thought that had not yet grasped the full weight of its own message. Fire alarm means—
The smell hit you.
You were off the sofa before you were fully conscious, your feet hitting the floor and your body moving on pure animal instinct while your mind scrambled to catch up. The living room was so wrong. The air was wrong, thick and grey at the edges, and the curtain was a tongue of orange that climbed the wall with terrifying enthusiasm, eating upward like it was hungry, like it had been waiting.
Your stomach dropped straight through the floor.
“Mochi,” you said, and then louder, sharper, your voice finding itself fast: “Mochi. Biscuit. Come here —”
The older cats were easier. Mochi, the fat tabby, came when called out of sheer automatic habit; Biscuit had already retreated to the bathroom at the far end of the hallway, which had the good sense to be away from the smoke. You scooped them both — one tucked under each arm, Mochi yowling his protest directly into your ear — and got them out into the corridor, setting them down near the stairwell where a neighbor already hovering in their doorway immediately stepped in.
“Is there anyone else—”
“Stella.” You were already turning back. “Small, white kitten, she can’t move fast, I have to—”
“You cannot go back in there—”
But your body was already making the decision.
You went back in.
The smoke hit you immediately — thicker than it had been thirty seconds ago, lower, meaner, the kind that got into your throat and stayed there. You dropped to a crouch and pulled your shirt up over your nose and it helped, barely, the cotton filtering almost nothing.
“Stella,” you called. Your voice came out wrong already, rougher than it should have been. “Stella, baby, where are you—”
Nothing. No small white shape. No wobbling little figure picking her way toward you.
You pressed further in, past the doorframe, staying low, your free hand trailing the wall. The heat from the living room was enormous now — a physical pressure against your face and arms, your skin prickling with it. Through the smoke you could see the glow of the fire painting the walls amber and orange, consuming the curtain completely, beginning to crawl across the ceiling.
“Stella.” Louder. Desperate. Your voice cracked on the second syllable and didn’t recover. “Please, please come out, please—”
The smoke found your lungs then. Really found them.
The cough started low and became immediately violent — your whole body seizing around it, your eyes flooding, the wall the only thing keeping you upright as your knees went uncertain beneath you. You couldn’t get a clean breath. Every inhale brought more of it, thick and chemical and hot, and your vision was starting to swim at the edges in a way that frightened you more than the fire did because you recognized it, distantly, as your body beginning to lose the argument.
“Stella—” The word dissolved into coughing again. You pressed your forehead against the wall, tried to breathe slow, tried to think. She was here. She had to be here. She was small and scared and she couldn’t run fast and you were not leaving without her, you were not—
Your legs buckled.
You caught yourself on the doorframe with both hands, barely, your arms shaking with the effort of it. The smoke alarm was still screaming overhead. The glow from the living room was getting brighter. You were crouched in a burning hallway and you couldn’t stand up properly and you still couldn’t find her and the panic was enormous now, shapeless and roaring, drowning out everything else—
The hallway door burst open.
Boots on the floor. Radio crackling. And then a figure in full gear was moving through the smoke toward you with a speed that made no concession whatsoever to the conditions — not slowing, not hesitating, crossing the distance between you in seconds and dropping to his knees right beside you.
“Hey.” His voice came through the visor, low and immediate, and there was a quality to it that cut right through the roaring in your head — the kind of calm that simply existed, that didn’t negotiate with chaos, that arrived and took up all the space the panic had been using. His gloved hand came to your shoulder. “Hey. Look at me.”
You tried. Your eyes were streaming and your lungs were burning and your legs were still refusing to cooperate but you tried.
“The kitten—” It came out as barely a rasp. “She’s still in there, she can’t move fast, she has dwarfism, she hides low—”
“What does she look like.”
Not a question. A lifeline.
“White,” you managed, between coughs. “All white. One blue eye, one gold. Please, she’s so little, she doesn’t — she doesn’t understand—” Another cough tore through you, your whole body shaking with it, and this time your grip on the doorframe slipped completely.
He caught you before you hit the floor.
One arm beneath your knees, one at your back, and you were up — lifted clean and fully off the ground in one motion, tucked against his chest before you’d fully registered what was happening. You made a sound of protest that came out as more coughing, your hands gripping the front of his gear weakly, and he adjusted his hold without comment, his grip absolutely certain, the kind of secure that didn’t ask you how you felt about it.
“Wait—” you started, between shuddering breaths.
“I’ll get her,” he said. Flat. Unarguable. The most unshakeable four words you had ever heard. “But you’re coming out first.”
He was already moving. Long, even strides back down the hall, angling your face away from the worst of the smoke, shielding you with the bulk of his body. His hand came briefly to the back of your head, pressing your face into his shoulder, away from the air you couldn’t breathe — and the gesture was so deliberate, so careful, that something in your chest cracked quietly open alongside the panic.
The stairwell door. The stairs, fast. Another figure in gear passing you on the way up, voices coordinating above you, the building’s alarm still screaming.
And then the night air, cold and clean, flooding into your lungs like water into a dry riverbed.
You coughed through it, great gasping coughs, your whole body shuddering with relief and with the aftermath of the smoke. He carried you clear of the entrance before he set you down, slowly, carefully, on the front steps — one hand staying at your arm until he was sure your legs would hold. They held. Barely.
You looked up at him. The visor reflected the red and white of the trucks at the curb. His grip at your arm loosened, but didn’t disappear.
“Stay here,” he said.
Your throat was raw. You managed one word.
“Please.”
Just that. He understood it completely.
He held your gaze through the visor for a beat longer than necessary.
Then he turned, and walked back into the burning building without a moment’s hesitation.
‧₊˚ ☾. ⋆˙⟡♡
The next four minutes were the longest of your life.
You sat on the cold stone step in your pajamas — soft cotton shorts and a worn oversized tee that said MIEL across the chest in faded pink letters — with your arms wrapped around your knees and your eyes fixed on the door he’d disappeared through. The street outside was lit up red and white, two fire trucks angled at the curb, more figures in gear moving with that same particular controlled urgency. A paramedic appeared at your elbow and tried to get you to move further back, and you did, a little, just enough to technically comply, but you kept your eyes on the door.
Someone put a blanket around your shoulders. You didn’t feel it.
She’s so little, you thought, and the thought had a specific texture to it, a tightness behind your sternum that had nothing to do with the smoke you’d inhaled and everything to do with the image of Stella wobbling between pieces of furniture, her small uncertain gait, the way she always tilted her head at you when you called her name like she was giving the question serious consideration before committing to an answer.
Please, you thought at the door. Please.
And then he came out.
He came out the way he’d gone in — unhurried, deliberate — and cradled against his chest, small and white and very much alive, was Stella.
The sound you made was embarrassing. You were dimly aware of that even as you made it — a soft, undignified noise somewhere between a gasp and a sob — and then you were crossing the distance between you and him, the blanket falling off your shoulders, your arms already reaching.
“Oh,” you breathed. “Oh, thank you — thank you—”
Stella, characteristically, seemed unbothered. She was blinking at you with her mismatched eyes, her tiny white nose twitching, apparently of the opinion that being carried through a burning building by a large man in fireproof gear was simply another thing on the agenda of this evening.
“She was under the bathroom sink,” he said. “Second shelf.”
“Of course she was.” You laughed, wet and wobbly, pressing your face briefly against the top of Stella’s small head. “Of course. That’s her spot.”
And then — because it was over, because she was safe, because the adrenaline was finally metabolizing into something softer and more complicated — your eyes filled.
You blinked hard. Refused to cry in front of a stranger. Succeeded only partially.
When you looked up, he was taking off his helmet.
You weren’t prepared for that.
He was incredibly handsome.
That was the thought that arrived first, and it arrived without apology. Unreasonably, almost unfairly handsome — all clean sharp angles and a jawline that had no business existing on a person who had just walked out of a burning building, the silver hair falling loose from the helmet slightly damp at the temples, catching the red and white light of the trucks in a way that made it look almost luminous. And his eyes — red, a deep extraordinary red, like a garnet held up to a flame — found Stella immediately. Found you, specifically, with a directness that made the breath you’d only just recovered feel suddenly scarce again.
And he was tall. Considerably, almost unreasonably tall. With the helmet off and the bulk of the gear still on his shoulders, he had the kind of frame that made the space around him rearrange itself slightly, the kind that you registered not just visually but physically — a shift in the air, a gravitational awareness.
You became suddenly very aware that you were standing in the street at — you checked the clock on someone’s phone nearby — eleven forty-seven at night, in cotton pajama shorts, holding a small wobbly kitten, with tear tracks on your cheeks.
“Hi,” you said, which was perhaps the least adequate thing you had ever said in your life.
Something moved at the corner of his mouth. Not quite a smile. Something that looked more like someone who was trying to restrain himself from smirking with amusement.
“Hi,” he said.
“I—” You adjusted Stella against your chest. She began to purr, apparently delighted with herself. “Thank you. I mean it. I — she’s — thank you.” You were running out of words. You were running out of everything. “I don’t even know your name.”
He looked at you for a moment the way he had in the hallway — that brief, assessing pause that somehow managed to feel less like evaluation and more like attention.
“Sylus,” he said.
You nodded. Filed it somewhere careful. Somewhere you’d find it again.
“Thank you, Sylus,” you said softly.
He held your gaze for a beat longer than was strictly necessary.
Then one of his colleagues appeared at his shoulder — shorter, purple-haired, with the particular energy of someone who had noticed something and was actively enjoying it — and said something into his ear that made Sylus’s jaw shift in a way that looked very much like suppressed irritation.
“Rafayel,” Sylus said, with the tone of someone pronouncing a sentence.
“I’m just saying,” the colleague said, and his grin was absolutely incorrigible, “you were in there a while for a—”
“Go check the perimeter.”
Rafayel looked at you, looked at Sylus, and looked extremely pleased with himself. “Right. Perimeter. Absolutely. Very important.” He backed away with the energy of a man who had already won something. “Take your time.”
You looked back at Sylus.
Sylus looked back at you with the expression of someone who had made peace with his colleagues being exactly who they were and had simply incorporated that peace into his daily existence.
“You should have the paramedics check you over,” he said. “Smoke inhalation.”
“I’m alright.”
“That’s for them to confirm.” He said it without inflection, but it landed less like a command and more like — something else. Something that sat just adjacent to concern and didn’t quite announce itself.
You nodded. Held Stella a little closer.
He put his helmet back on — the deliberate, practiced motion of it, the way his hands moved with the ease of long repetition — and then he paused, and for one suspended second he looked at you again over his shoulder.
“Keep her away from candles,” he said.
You laughed — a real one, surprised out of you.
“I will,” you said. “I really, really will.”
He turned away. Back toward the building, back toward the colleagues and the crackling radios and the controlled, purposeful world he occupied with such extraordinary ease.
You stood in the street in your pajamas with your kitten and watched him go and thought, with the particular clarity of a mind that has just been thoroughly rattled and is now reassembling itself:
Oh.
Oh, that’s going to be a problem.
‧₊˚ ☾. ⋆˙⟡♡
Stella purred against your chest, unconcerned.
The city moved around you, indifferent, the way it always did.
You looked at the door he’d walked back through.
You thought about red eyes finding yours through smoke-thick air. About a voice that made the panic subside for a little bit. About the way he’d said I’ll get her like it was the simplest thing — like it was simply the thing that needed to be done and therefore he would do it.
You pressed your face against the top of Stella’s head again.
“Don’t tell anyone,” you told her quietly.
She blinked her little eyes at you.
Said nothing and kept your secret.
‧₊˚ ☾. ⋆˙⟡♡
read the rest on ao3 <3
bonus: this is stella trying to bite y’alls phones
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