Fag Hammer

chris in no im not a human au

slice of life/no apocalypse au

main survivor chris au, canon compliant up until chris’ death

chris in fear and hunger termina au

liza lives/liza and travis swap au, canon changed after s1

liza dies, but the clark’s “adopt” chris au? canon changed after s1 again

what is going on in this grown woman’s mind. i don’t what’s going in fuckin NICK’S mind; fuck you mean, “i’ll have your back” when it came to your mom pinning the murder of a family from the white supremacy colony on the indigenous people whom they are already at war with when the person who ACTUALLY killed that family was the mayor’s nazi son”

and it’s so fucking annoying because i can FEEL what’s going on in my head—from the moment it finally clicked for me why nick was being so despondent, enough to associate himself with the walkers and say that he’s one of them.. wait chat i’m starting to see a pattern

it’s not like nick was fuckin eating people back when he was “one with the walkers” (though he did eat a dog’s raw corpse once the herd finally left him), but nick is.. too squishy; when he relates to something or someone, he throws himself DIRECTLY into the role being asked of him. he feels despondent and says it’s like he’s dead already, so he associates with the walkers and THEY become his pack. before that,’celia was nick’s north star and he devoted himself to their beliefs. when nick was asked to be the leader of a latin community, them being harassed by a separate colony, he’s moving heaven and earth to connect with these people and keep them safe.

so when he got to the white supremacist led ranch.. and he’s tasked with making friends with the racist mayor’s son, who’s prone to violence no matter WHO the victims are.. but yk he has a special preference because of how he was raised..

Old Ghosts & New Faces

AU Verse

@y0urm0m1

He should have just kept his mouth shut. He really should have just shut up. Why did he have to say anything? The campfire had long since turned to embers, a month or so ago, when they were still on the road, and they had been talking and grumbling for hours about where to go. Sherry was huddled close to him, his jacket around her shoulders. Klaus and Tracy were both asleep in one of the trucks, and Strand, Frank, Madison, and Alicia were trying to figure out everyone's next move.

Dwight had been sitting there silently, staring into the fire. Madison wanted to get back to Los Angeles, but there was no way they were going to make it that far now. One of their cars had already broken down, and the other was on its last legs. They didn't know the area, and everyone knew they weren't going to be making it much further. They were stranded with nowhere to go. That was when Dwight spoke up. Without thinking really, he just spit it out. It was a stupid idea, a terrible idea. But it was the only place nearby he could think of. Alexandria.

If he had just kept his mouth shut, Dwight might not have found himself standing in front of the gates of the one place he was never supposed to return to. He half expected Daryl to open the gates and shoot him. Dwight wouldn't blame him. Eventually, they were taken inside the gates, their weapons ripped from them, and they were all escorted to what Dwight remembered being one of the main buildings.

"You all better behave," Dwight answers as they were led through the doors and told to wait, ensuring to stare at Strand a moment longer than needed. “And don't forget, they can just throw us out if they want to." He adds quickly. If Morgan were here, their group might stand more of a fighting chance, but he wasn't certain who was running things now. But surely they wouldn’t turn them away, right? Maybe Dwight himself, but if they would take the others in, he would accept that. Besides, they had kids. Klaus looked tired from the journey, and Tracy…well, she hadn’t said anything that wasn’t a snarky or harsh remark to anyone, really. Not that Dwight blamed her. He still didn’t really understand why she was here. Madison had killed the girl's father and essentially kidnapped her for nothing. Alicia had magically shown up a few days later and revealed that, in fact, she did not have a kid. In truth, Dwight tried not to think too much about that mess or his head would hurt.

"Are you sure about this?" Frank asks after a moment, once the doors were shut and the group was left alone. He stood close to his husband, a protective hand on his son's shoulder. His eyes wandered to Dwight and then to Victor. Was anyone sure about this? Frank wasn't. In the span of just a month or so, he had lost nearly everything he had ever known. Been uprooted from the only place they had ever lived since the start of all this.

Dwight swallows and glances around at the group. All eyes were on him. He was still never quite used to that. The way that people looked at him from time to time. Looking at him with trust, looking to him to figure things out. No one looked at him like that with Negan. Part of him felt this weight bearing down on him being back here. Being this close to all the lives he nearly destroyed.

"I'm not sure of anything," Dwight answers honestly, letting out a breath, "but this is our best shot. These are good people."

~*~

Gabriel made his way to Aaron's house down the street from the main meeting place where the new group was being kept. Jerry had come and gotten him once they had arrived. Groups of people showing up weren't that uncommon, but Alexandria did tend to see less traffic now that The Commonwealth was rebuilt and open. Although it was even rarer to see familiar faces show up. Especially one so scarred. Gabriel didn't approach as he saw the former Savior being led into the building; he only came up afterwards and told people who had brought them in to keep them there while he went to get Aaron.

☽ Memory becomes absolute garbage. Like “why am I in the kitchen?” garbage. “What was I saying?” garbage. Their brain is running on buffering screens and regret.

☽ Fine motor skills? Ha. They’re dropping everything. Pens. Phones. Entire moral compass. They’re basically a malfunctioning claw machine.

☽ Hallucinations creep in. That jacket on the chair? Suddenly a person. That noise? Definitely doom. Everything becomes mildly haunted.

☽ Time gets weird. Five minutes feel like a year. A full hour disappears and they swear they blinked wrong.

☽ Irritation skyrockets. They get mad at chairs. At air. At gravity. At the audacity of other humans continuing to exist.

☽ Their voice sounds weird. Slow, scratchy, like they swallowed sand.

☽ They walk like a drunk baby giraffe. Walls suddenly jump closer. Floors rise unexpectedly. Coordination said: “I’m out.”

☽ Zoning out becomes a hobby. They stare at random objects like they’re trying to understand quantum mechanics.

☽ Vision blurs in and out. Like someone smeared Vaseline over their eyeballs out of spite.

☽ Their body just hurts. Not a dramatic pain, just the “why does my skeleton feel like it’s buzzing?” pain.

☽ Food cravings go feral. They’d fight someone for a stale cookie.

☽ Terrible choices. They will absolutely say “I’m fine” while making decisions that end in disaster.

☽ Random emotional implosions. Crying because their sock feels wrong? Yes.

first thing you might want to consider: is the pain mental or physical?

if it’s physical, what type of pain is it causing? — sharp pain, white-hot pain, acute pain, dull ache, throbbing pain, chronic pain, neuropathic pain (typically caused by nerve damage), etc

if it’s mental, what is the reason your character is in pain? — grief, heartbreak, betrayal, anger, hopelessness, fear and anxiety, etc

because your character will react differently to different types of pain

PHYSICAL PAIN

sharp and white-hot pain may cause a character to grit their teeth, scream, moan, twist their body. their skin may appear pale, eyes red-rimmed and sunken with layers of sweat covering their forehead. they may have tears in their eyes (and the tears may feel hot), but they don’t necessarily have to always be crying.

acute pain may be similar to sharp and white-hot pain; acute pain is sudden and urgent and often comes without a warning, so your character may experience a hitched breathing where they suddenly stop what they’re doing and clench their hand at the spot where it hurts with widened eyes and open mouth (like they’re gasping for air).

dull ache and throbbing pain can result in your character wanting to lay down and close their eyes. if it’s a headache, they may ask for the lights to be turned off and they may be less responsive, in the sense that they’d rather not engage in any activity or conversation and they’d rather be left alone. they may make a soft whimper from their throat from time to time, depends on their personality (if they don’t mind others seeing their discomfort, they may whimper. but if your character doesn’t like anyone seeing them in a not-so-strong state, chances are they won’t make any sound, they might even pretend like they’re fine by continuing with their normal routine, and they may or may not end up throwing up or fainting).

if your character experience chronic pain, their pain will not go away (unlike any other illnesses or injuries where the pain stops after the person is healed) so they can feel all these types of sharp pain shooting through their body. there can also be soreness and stiffness around some specific spots, and it will affect their life. so your character will be lucky if they have caretakers in their life. but are they stubborn? do they accept help from others or do they like to pretend like they’re fine in front of everybody until their body can’t take it anymore and so they can no longer pretend?

neuropathic pain or nerve pain will have your character feeling these senses of burning, shooting and stabbing sensation, and the pain can come very suddenly and without any warning — think of it as an electric shock that causes through your character’s body all of a sudden. your character may yelp or gasp in shock, how they react may vary depends on the severity of the pain and how long it lasts.

EMOTIONAL PAIN

grief can make your character shut themself off from their friends and the world in general. or they can also lash out at anyone who tries to comfort them. (five states of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and eventual acceptance.)

heartbreak — your character might want to lock themself in a room, anywhere where they are unseen. or they may want to pretend that everything’s fine, that they’re not hurt. until they break down.

betrayal can leave a character with confusion, the feelings of ‘what went wrong?’, so it’s understandable if your character blames themself at first, that maybe it’s their fault because they’ve somehow done something wrong somewhere that caused the other character to betray them. what comes after confusion may be anger. your character can be angry at the person who betrayed them and at themself, after they think they’ve done something wrong that resulted in them being betrayed, they may also be angry at themself next for ‘falling’ for the lies and for ‘being fooled’. so yes, betrayal can leave your character with the hatred that’s directed towards the character who betrayed them and themself. whether or not your character can ‘move on and forgive’ is up to you.

there are several ways a character can react to anger; they can simply lash out, break things, scream and yell, or they can also go complete silent. no shouting, no thrashing the place. they can sit alone in silence and they may cry. anger does make people cry. it mostly won’t be anything like ‘ugly sobbing’ but your character’s eyes can be bloodshot, red-rimmed and there will be tears, only that there won’t be any sobbing in most cases.

hopelessness can be a very valid reason for it, if you want your character to do something reckless or stupid. most people will do anything if they’re desperate enough. so if you want your character to run into a burning building, jump in front of a bullet, or confess their love to their archenemy in front of all their friends, hopelessness is always a valid reason. there’s no ‘out of character’ if they are hopeless and are desperate enough.

fear and anxiety. your character may be trembling, their hands may be shaky. they may lose their appetite. they may be sweaty and/or bouncing their feet. they may have a panic attack if it’s severe enough.