hello beautiful

Angelina Jolie has more structure in one of her cheekbones than I do in my life

ur not allowed to be busy youre my only friend

i wish people had crushes on me 

“Help, I’ve fallen glamorously and I can’t get up ;]”

All of the other mannequins look like they’re so sick of his shit. “God damn it, Jerry’s at it again.

i completely forgot that you actually have to pay for internet

well I definitely guessed that answer horribly wrong.

*is clearly a 5 ( 6 on a good day ) but wants to hook up with 10s*

the weirdest thing about the education system is that pretty much every teenager ever is so stressed out about schools that they pray for disasters or fake illness or try to kill themselves and yet nobody has ever thought to themselves “hey maybe our system is flawed” and instead all they ever think is “kids these days are so lazy and selfish” like what the fuck is up with that man

i don’t know what im laughing about more, the ostrich, the girl that looks like she’s crying in the other car or the llama in the mirror