Do you ever feel like you're back at high school? I accidentally set my supervisor up with my dad. Long story. But because I told people my supervisor had been on a date with my dad, she heard it back and became upset. And in the cornering of being asked who I'd told, I only managed to mentioned one member of staff and my supervisor said, "oh so she's told everyone!"

I panicked because this was getting beyond my control so I told her maybe others overheard it there was a Chinese whispers but really it was me. And now half the staff are ganging up on me for lying and upsetting her.

But.. it's a fucking weird thing to process isn't it. Also the hurt on her face that people knew panicked me. I'm not good with people being upset.

CURRENT WEIGHT 154lbs

fantasising about how I will look "when I lose weight". Over 3 weeks I'm down 9lbs which doesn't seem like much of a feat BUT I suppose it's relatively healthy. Any quicker and it'd likely be just water weight. My measurements are down, my trousers are much looser already. I should really take some pictures to mark my progress. I currently stand at

157lbs

down from 166lbs starting weight. Pretty sure that's the heaviest I've ever weighed. It was my first time feeling like a size 14 (UK) fit perfectly and I don't remember ever being quite so close to 12 stone before. My 12s fit fine again now so I don't have to replace my whole wardrobe.

*opens my phone to show pictures of my cats*

Them: Oh I thought you meant you have kids

The baby is fine! It doesn't have gastroschisis.

We found out a while ago. I've been so busy with Harry.

Look at him, he had zero idea what that is in front of him. He looks so happy though!

Yo, wtf.

My other half gets in at half 7 and tells me he's got me a present. And he produces a fucking cat lol

My boy who is 10 months old is teething and it's a nightmare. He's not napping, he's not eating and when he is eating, he working himself up so much that he's projectile vomiting. And he's done that tonight. Everywhere. The floor. The bed. Over me. Over himself.

On top of the stress with this pregnancy and the tiredness and irritability that comes along with being pregnant in itself, I just couldn't cope. I had to walk away. I had to sit and leave my boy crying and covered in vomit.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant. I've been so tired. I'm already tired but now it's as though I'm waking up in the morning and a vampire had sucked most of my blood and life force out.

We went for the scan on Tuesday. There may be something wrong with the baby. We won't find out until next Tuesday.