angel girl

I’m so tired of everything I wish I could rest soon. I wish I never had to do this. Even when things r great I’m still so tired of this. Everything is reallly good in my life but I just wish it could stop.

I don’t want to do anything ever again. I hate that I have to do stuff all the time. I wish I could just do nothing.

It’s so upsetting I’ll never feel safe w anyone ever after I was with that poor excuse of a human being. I’m often afraid the people close to me will hurt me in many awful ways and my heart sinks with paranoia and anxiety that the most awful things will happened to me at the hands of either strangers or even my own boyfriend. I wish I could stop being so anxious all the time.

i haven’t had a real friend in years. i really don’t have anyone to talk to about how i feel or how my day is going and it really sucks because i do have friends i think, i js don’t believe they care for me more than the surface level. i feel like they only text me if they need something out of me. idk if im being over dramatic how i usually am or if im having my lil victim complex moment but i can go days maybe even weeks w out speaking to anyone and it’s really sad and i really hate it and i wish it wasn’t so hard for me to make friends and for me to find someone that actually cares about me and that will actually listen to me. im js so tired of everything and i really hate that i have to keep doing this and that now i have to go to college and actually do smt w my life bc i sadly didn’t die when i was supposed to. like i really really don’t want to do this.

but it really is so so hard having so much love to give but no one to give it to. like i really wish i why is it so hard to love me and why no one ever stays

i don’t think i’m pretty or a good person. i really can’t think of anything good abt myself and idk how to make it better or how to love myself and i think i never will learn how to do so therefore im lowkey not going to let anyone love me properly me ill die alone or smt idk

i hate that i’m always going to feel this way and that it’s really never going to go away or get better. like i really js have to be depressed my whole life and that’s that .