Faded Chorus

You say I'm okay for a guy But I can tell that you are lying, and we've Almost figured out how we'll get along And given time, we'll Find it strange to Be alone, and . . . You just forgot your one pet name for me And all those promises you said you'd keep And it's a lucky thing Because that sentimental stuff Doesn't suit you At all

So long living in between, A tiny screen and a slightly larger screen, The loneliest way to stay alone, Your face frozen up in lines, From milder climates and wilder times— I can’t watch it glitching anymore, I know why you had to go, An ocean asked you to play another show, The mountains arranged for you to rhyme, I knew you would do your best, In vacuum tubes, where the feedbacks nest, To make me smile, But it seems impossible now, From another December we will barely remember, When summer arrives, So, so long living in between

I want you to know what I forgive you for, now that you’re all ashes anyway, Every step into the river pushes you further away, I want you to hear the farm apologize for letting you believe you could return, I want you to dream in all the languages we couldn’t learn, I want you to write my name under your name, with the year, I was born and you began to disappear, I want you to watch the generations sprawl, constellations in a northern sky, I want all the satellites to circle you when you arrive, I want every highway sign to remember we were here, I want you to take your time to disappear

I'm under the gun again, I know I was 45 percenter then, I know I was a lot of things, But I am good and I am grounded, Davy says that I look taller, But I can't get my head around it, I keep feeling smaller and smaller

She can't see me, But I can, I guess I am The Invisible Man, She can't see, What could be, Nothin' hurts worse than bein' nothin, (The Invisible Man) Some things are hard to understand, (The Invisible Man) Nothing's worse than turning into...

I don't want to be the bad guy, I don't want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore

I know you’re back, I saw your sister at the pharmacy, Picking up, said you had that new love glow, Now that you’re here, I want to wake up on the right side, Looking back, getting out of neutral new track, You know it happens all the time, it’s alright, I hear it happens all the time

Did I fail? Did I fall? (In the morning when I wake up, are you mine?) Did I waste my time, waste my time on a broken heart? (Take the trash out like a bad dream, are you gone?) Or is this the start of the great silence, (From the old house, the fiercest heart spoke, are you mine?) Is this the start of every day? (Christmas tree’s dead, you know how time flies, are you gone?)

I can’t remember the dream that I had last night, If I could I would write it out, underline the highlights, Of the dream that would now redefine my life, Be a new roadmap, affirmation and guiding light

I am almost completely soulless, I am incapable of being human, I am incapable of being inhuman, I am living uncontrollably, It should be called the anti-depression, As a friend of mine suggested, Because it's not the sadness that hurts you, It's the brain's reaction against it, It's not enough to love the unreal, I am inseparable from the impossible, I want gravity to stop for me, My soul yearns for a fugitive from the laws of nature

I can’t tell you if I like it, I like it, What happens if I don’t like it, I like it? I can’t tell you if I like it, I like it, What happens if I don’t like it? It’s only -  Okay, so I’ve been reading all the sex blogs, And they all talk about how okay it is to be gay, And straight and bisexual and asexual, And have sex however you like, But I don’t care about hundreds of hypothetical people And their hypothetical sex deals, I care about me, and my sex deal! What about my problems?

Take your hands off your neck and, Hold onto the ghost of my body, You know good lives make bad stories, You can text me when punching mattresses gets old, Don’t think it’ll always be this way, Not comforted by anything I say, We were wrecks before we crashed into each other

Don’t you realize our bodies could fall apart at any second? I am terrified, your body could fall apart at any second, Those are - you got some nice shoulders, I’d like to put my arms around them, I’d like to put my arms around them

So you quote love unquote me, Well, stranger things have come to be, But let’s agree to disagree, Cos I don’t believe you, I don’t believe you

It had been going so well, And then I broke my eggshell, And entered the world as a brontosaurus, Brontosaurus, brontosaurus

All is lost, all is lost, all is lost, Not a shred of, not a shred of hope, I broke my rule, I broke my own rule, Now I’m condemned to Hell, now I’m condemned to Hell

Up so close, I never get to see your face, Microscope, I might as well be out in space