upsasuke

what the FUCK is upsasuke

(gives you a sexy blood transfusion) 

(gives you a sexy blood transfusion)

(gives you a sexy blood transfusion)

(gi

why did you stop?

arrested for malpractice

welcome to mcdawnalds do you wanna phucking beesechurger

p-please, i just want to s-see my wife again

chinken nunget

What did Wallace ever do to hurt you this badly he’s just tryna make the world a better place with his inventions and you come for him like this

fuck iron supplements i’m bout to just start eating staples

What if your allergic to fruit?

man what… i said staples

@ all the spambots who r following me: thank you, u might be empty and artificial but so is the flimsy validation i gain from seeing my follower count rise

“Hey, there are 0 letters in the alphabet, right?” “No, there’s 26.” “oh, sorry, i must have forgotten The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog.. ;)” “What about R..” “How could i forget.. R u single..?”

There’s an “R” in brown though

Hmm. it would appear that one of us is wrong, and that one of us… is yourself. there’s no r in brown. and thats final

thank you ricky!! could you also upload your resume please?

Fantastic! Your credentials seem to be in order, and you are well qualified for the position of “belly boy.” Someone should contact u for a secondary interview in 3-5 business days.

:O

was he ever contacted for the interview? did he ever get the job?

I was fired for OSHA violations and also biting

given that people are already noticing how tumblr dorks are turning top and bottom into basically gendered stereotypes my prediction is that the next bastard thing this dying website will do is finally reach the peak of its obsession with the western zodiac and turn it into a legitimate system of social hierarchy