FabulouslyAspie

reaching your social limit for the week AND allowing yourself to take some time off and chill for a while, instead of powering through and pushing back the inevitable shutdown once you run out of fuel.

Because depression feels *just right* sometimes. It's aesthetically pleasing, it allows me to take a break just to brood properly instead of just powering through. It forces me to leave the mask to the side.

It's almost like a friend. A fucked-up friend, one who makes you believe life isn't really worth living, that nothing will get better. One who tells you "See? They're all hypocrites, isolation is much better than this"

But he brings you apathy, which feels like a cushion against a world that's too harsh. He plays music that brings tears to your eyes. He forces you to be true to your own self by saying "Fuck this, you know what this is much too hard for me, I'm taking a break."

I don't want it to be my friend, but sometimes the thought is almost comforting.

Also me when there’s the tiniest change in my routine and habits: *goes nonverbal, rocks until feeling better, loses all ability to make conversation and facial expressions*

Like you’ll think using the same vocabulary and pace and choice of words for a while?

Or is it just me?

- Being content with alone time and being self-sufficient emotionally

- Being able to gather and retain info very quickly through special interests (and it’s very enjoyable)

- Less likely to be influenced by groupthink (because what does the group even want?? It’s a mystery.)

- Seeing the good in people - most days.

- Not burdened by social conventions

- The simple joy of stims <3

Today I feel tired and I ask myself: am I really tired, or is it a new depressive episode starting?

A thing healthy people don’t get is how exhausting it is to always be alert in order to manage your mental health as best you can: