kerry ♡

as an anorexic that is reluctantly attempting recovery, i'd really love if people could ditch the false notion that the beauty standard is being dangerously underweight. the beauty standard is slender, curvy in 'the right places', or average. but if you think i didn't get treated like a disgusting freak show at bmi 15 you're sorely mistaken. just look at the way people talk about some of the concerningly skinny celebrities nowadays. it's always 'skeleton', 'walking corpse', 'on death's door', and people advocating for them to be forcibly removed from the public eye. it feels just as much like concern trolling to me as people say the reverse is. neither being dangerously under- nor overweight is seen as a good thing. yes, people praise slender bodies, but i've never been shamed as much by internet trolls as when i was in the depths of my ED. the sooner people realize 'eat a fucking sandwich' is just as stupid of a comment as 'put the fork down', the better. i'm so tired of the double standards and hypocrisy. being underweight is unhealthy, so is being overweight. neither should be praised, but neither should be shamed for simply existing either. people shouldn't promote nor encourage others into becoming either of those. but if they aren't doing that, then most likely they are simply struggling with food, their body, or other issues, and they shouldn't be treated like shit for it.

people who claim they can tell trans men are trans because 'nO aDaMS apPle' my brother in christ, the adams apple is literal cartilage. everyone has it. vocal chords thicken due to testosterone which pushes it out further. lots of trans men on testosterone have visible adams apples. but even when they don't, lots of cis men also do not have visible adams apples. it's not like a uterus. it's more like a hip bone. everyone has it but it's shaped differently on different people.

sorry but as a csa survivor i get so annoyed with people who complain about HORROR stories including descriptive scenes of SA. like when they go 'you didn't need to do that.' 'we get it.' 'you couldve implied it.' 'you could've cut to black.' etc. because first of all, it's a fucking HORROR story. and second of all, (c)sa victims don't get the liberty of 'implication' or 'cutting to black'. it's SUPPOSED to be horrifying in a horror story. it doesn't cheapen it. it isn't exploitative just because it's described. it makes you uncomfortable because THATS THE PURPOSE OF IT. people complaining that they didn't wanna have to read it bc it 'made them uncomfyyy, ooo' just pisses me the fuck off. you know what's even more uncomfortable? experiencing it. if you don't wanna read it then don't fucking read horror stories with SA themes in the first place. we didn't get to cut to black, sit with your discomfort or read something else, but stop bitching about it existing in writing. it's allowed to exist in writing. and i'd argue it's important to write it rather than cut away, because horror isn't supposed to coddle you.

people will literally use homophobic language towards straight men when they do things like basic hygiene, skincare, dressing a little different, etc. so why do people act like it's so far fetched for trans men to experience misogyny? hateful people don't care who/what you are, they only care what they perceive you to be and will use that to insult and/or harm you.

trans guys who call themselves tme and downplay their own oppression to align themselves with trfs are the same as gay men who go "yeah i'm gay, but i'm normal about it. i'm not like those gays, i don't make it my entire personality. pick me, straight people!!! choose me, love me."

tumblr wont let me post my femboy summer post. i hate you tumblr. bitchass app.

not sure why it's so unfathomable to people that trans men often also have to 'girlmode' for our safety. and don't "being a woman isn't safer than being a man." me, because being perceived as a cis woman is safer than being perceived as a trans man 99.99% of the time. shove your idiocy up your ass where it belongs please.

i used to have a very sensitive chest, particularly my nipples. csa made it hard for me to be in touch with my body, but that was a part i always enjoyed. now i have no feeling in my nipples anymore other than feeling basic pressure of touch after surgery because my chest was very large despite being extremely skinny, so they had to be removed and re-attached. i haven't had a bloody menstrual cycle in years due to the medication i take to suppress it, but i still get more or less every other symptom - especially debilitating cramps - for 7+ days a month because of this fuckass endometriosis. i developed severe AN due to dysphoria around the width of my hips only to get to an even more dangerously low weight and discover it's all bone and thus completely unchangeable. so no, i actually don't wanna hear about how estrogenic puberty is supposedly 'less damaging' for trans men or 'more easily reversible' than androgenic puberty, please take your shit elsewhere and stop making suffering a competition.

best friend tried to reassure me by saying i've always been skinny and that i don't look sickly or scary unhealthy. and i fear it did the opposite :/ why does my brain take that as an insult? like all i heard was 'you're not sick so what are you even trying to recover from?' 🧍‍♂️

when nothing changed except instead of being called a bitch for speaking up for your rights you are now called a bitch boy for speaking up for your rights.