asta

Ohhh wait...I'm cute!!! :OOOO!!!! *aims my pistol at your head*

There’s a gimmick blog right behind me with a gun to my head

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do you want to play dead bodies with me

floats along your dash face down and quiet and cold

asking my lady if i've been a good knight despite falling off my horse twice during the tournament (my armor is covered in mud and i look fucking stupid)

everyone tells me that ADHD isn't an excuse for being lazy and that there are people with ADHD who have overcome their symptoms and are successful but every day I drag around an invisible dopplegänger of myself who is horrible and listless and always complains. and he is so heavy. I'm ambitious and I'm passionate but he isn't and the problem is that to get anywhere in life I have to grab him by the leg and pull him along the whole way, kicking and screaming, and sometimes it gets exhausting. sometimes he pulls me down with him. and it gets a bit difficult to explain to people why I'm lying down on the floor in pain when they can't see him.

I've never heard ADHD explained this way....but it's such a good depiction of it.

your brave and loyal knight has a headache

long distance relationship (my liege has locked himself in the tower on the opposite side of the castle while I guard the gate)

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious