With Conviction

WHO. WHAT. HELP.

These pumps, crafted by Mexican designer Lucita Abarca, caused quite a stir at a recent Sixth Borough fashion show. These crystalline high-heels were grown by Wyrm’s Pass artisans, deep below the Rocky Mountains, using a mixture of firebird ash, waters from the springs at Paradiso, and a variety of secret ingredients, rumored to include Australian fire opals and powdered moonstone. The result of using the firebird ash become immediately recognizable when the heel of the shoe is dragged backward across any dry surface, as it creates an impressive streak of magical fire which can be accurately aimed with a little effot. Ms. Abarca said she wanted a shoe that made a statement, and that statement was “Any bastardo brujo catcalling me on La Plaza de Sangre better be ready to dose his huevos, you know?” 

This one goes out to all the girls whose thighs are so thick you can’t cross your legs.

This is truth. Shoutout to the girls with thighs big enough to be used as warming pillows.

And big ups to the girls whose upper thighs still touch when their knees are apart.

YAS

tell em Taraji

When you stretch and your inner porn star moan comes out by accident

all the time. me.

How eloquent.