im in the house like carpet

i’ve conditioned myself to scroll past and ignore those ads, but the people around me in a public space…. have not had that conditioning… nor do they usually ever have much awareness about what tumblr is and looks like, so i realized the likelihood of them catching a glimpse of one of those ads Zooming past on my phone screen, it’d probably look like that’s an actual post that’s on my phone

the way he acts makes me think of like… like a dad, for some reason. but a play-pretend father. he’s allergic to making himself seem bothered, ESPECIALLY by positive emotions. he acts like a dad who didnt want this cat at all, i really dont care about this cat guys it’s just another mouth to feed grrr, but then you see him petting or cuddling with the cat anyway

i’d almost wanna reread some scenes to recontextualize things. the lack of much commenting from sqq (aside from “cant believe i’m going gay with the male lead”) makes me feel like theres so many scenes where his fear or disgust are actually just… mislabelled attraction. like the ending is just the result of being slowly dragged out of his denial, finally relaxing his hands and no longer clawing at the ground. accepting his fate.

“Instead, he only became more and more composed, more and more patient.”