someplace safe a comfort zone secure enough to hide insecurities and on tough days when it gets reckless spill them in discreet and pop pills or slit wrists helpless and relapses promises to not repeat but this is his seventh one last time please, he goes through the same painful path of self harm as a way to feel something else still painful but other than the agony of anxiety and existential dread and insecurities and issues since the 1st day of school lays there in silence being comfortable in the corner, feels numb considering of ideas of self destruction, oh the capability of an empty existence ruining everything ever desired and achieved walls bulit to hide are way higher than the self esteem of the victim for you to get through the layers of concrete that surround as illusions tricking the world into believing that he is safe inside he is he is safe enough to kill himself in silence no longer wondering for what ifs and if only... #peoplewhoselfharm #youareloved #youdeservehappiness https://www.instagram.com/p/BprWLI7gVzi78AhNBhe5L9H6YQ7pvF8Rmwtplo0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=eyd8vcewcjz8

I want this. I knew I needed this but only after having to experience I realised how much I needed a day like today. I want this more. Sharing laughter out loud with people i know as I keep bottled emotions aside to be dealt later... I felt free today. No overthinking. Just a tad of anxiety maybe. Well it happens to have no exit door so.. but thats okay cause I wont shut myself in anymore when I get chances like this. I reckon for us to reflect upon ourselves and whatever we do its not necessary that we must go through some bad days. I think the self evaluations we do and perspectives we get on days we have our smiles wide and hearts happy are better and only fair rather than on days we loathe our very own existence. #andthatsthepositiviteasis https://www.instagram.com/p/BphiDK7Ag_N658BPwHxi7tI1L9tL8cINbsQskI0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hjapkw7v14cr

when its happy dashain but nihilism kicks in https://www.instagram.com/p/BpKaN0KgVV9sVnJmFaMbs2FSmNwXoahCaOVrzQ0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=w64frk5gsf80

दशैं २०७५! https://www.instagram.com/p/BpHYY3MAQ92CNd_lF8GnAMSgM147g4HqEPr_i40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1brye2x4bszrn

as welcoming as a door can be, i would have to walk out of it should i ever want to see the world cause two windows dont make it for all shades of green, blue and every colour there is and the views like the lights reflecting in sea at midnight.. and when i find solace in my home that i had sought, i lazed on it, grew ignorance for the outside world with it but failed to realise that the fun and zeal in cracking my own comfort zone was fading away.. my repose, that i am less fond of now, makes me occupied with dreading thoughts and i begin to question the tranquillity i acquired or so i thought cause it seems to be harder than it looks to fight battles against myself being enclosed within these four walls. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo67GMPAG2yMvjOvLbeX3RQ9iT_6XfX2OK_kSc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1lyhzp4a5vpqm

peel off my skin when you're reckless layer up and build it thick calm the chaos, clear the mess cover all your insecurities don't mind if i'm faceless https://www.instagram.com/p/BoMVk9agRB_kecX-JVu8u6KDedvlZ-Abt0tUPY0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2gsu5crb7c3

i wanna be your home even when i am homeless https://www.instagram.com/p/BoHeJHdAlt8fomAj_AEGyMKnyNvUNtvBD7l5gU0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1gqeclql3wxxk

throwback to when my friends roped me into a camping trip which was really in tents! ⛺ (at Kaeng Krachan National Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn9G61_gS6idVvHE9p-lWDRE7dXhEnXBWAZiBQ0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=hq20shb9oavw

only way i swing is mood swing #tb🏕 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn6r7ehAHeLU8kZGoUBhqErebOTfC69cC7RoDI0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1f2rdky0kvfh0

really gotta stop with the subtle art of giving a fuck! #nofucksforyou https://www.instagram.com/p/BnoTqrKlQ2kkrvkmjnJc6Yzs3tJoZA9E8oVxcM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cls8zdeuyg7l

trying to reach for the transcendence of thoughts and the whole state of being while still staring into the abysmal depth of cosmo full of gods' light and struggling to comprehend why existences of almost zilch significance make mine supposedly of greater even harder; attempt in letting go of whatever that once provided you with sense of belonging but abandoned and left you falling into a pit of worthlessness won't make it easier for you to divert your focus towards the things and the power even when they are of extreme gravity #ॐ https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm-zd3aFQV_wq52hTNk8L-v2qSD-2FWx8YdZkU0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1g1dt10v4nslf

afraid that i'm gonna have to take a rain check until its sweater weather https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm1Csk0Fj_NF3e6IiEfAlrPX2swDo7yMiWzgh80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vtswdffgu4x5

swimming through the sick void https://www.instagram.com/p/BmlvXADFalHmDTcmoqTnF-ND70s3YmBkmlJTyc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ahims1wan03k