Entry 2.
Dear Reader,
I find myself overcome with grief and anger lately. I lost my pregnancy this week, it was probably for the best since my husband didn't want the pregnancy anyway. He has such high expectations for parenthood and I'm afraid that we will never reach a point where he will be happy about any pregnancy. Don't get me wrong- we have a wonderful and very healthy relationship, but kids are the only thing we disagree on. He tells me we can talk about having kids in 2 years, but I would like to have kids sooner. We are home owners with solid careers and the ability to work from home... I have been resentful of my younger sister and her pregnancy the last few days. She's 8 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby and supportive father. They don't have any money, any stability, and will likely have to apply for state help. But even then her boyfriend of 8 months has been supportive and excited. I wish I could have an exciting pregnancy.
My husband is surprisingly not coping well, which is confusing since he wanted an abortion anyway. But I find myself having to be the rock right now and I'm not sure how long I can swing it. I am angry that I have to be the strong one for us right now, especially since I just want to fall apart.
Sincerely,
T
