I'm also tired of this discussion being headed by white people. Which is to say, the idea that it's "A GENDER GALAXY" or some nonsense, is not new. The fact that we stabilize it like men on one side, women on another, is unnecessary. And so that's why I get annoyed when people say "men, women, and everyone else." Or when people say "men, women, bigender for feminine and masculine like both, agender for not liking either, demiboy if you sorta like being in men as a category not entirely, etc." Similarly, however, the misunderstanding that that means your "gender" can be "deer, star, etc." is untrue. Because gender is not an aesthetic and it is not a personality trait. No more than "race" is an aesthetic or a personality trait. And white people never want to make that jump but I can't describe gender without using a racial metaphor because it's the same social constructivism that is not a devaluing of it--the fact that it's socially constructed doesn't mean it doesn't matter--but it leads to understanding that it's all bullshit. Just because we're dealing with its historical ramifications doesn't mean it's not bullshit.
Gender in the social sense is just that, the social category conferred that you then have to deal with a bunch of ramifications and depending on how ok or not ok you are with these ramifications is where the queer theory of gender identity comes from. Because it only seems to have two categories, it's more susceptible to breakdown. It's like Republicans and Democrats, while they claim to be big two party systems, there's independents who move between and then there's other splinter parties closer to one or the other who still wants the acknowledgment and organizing of an actual party, instead of just "independent."
You can abstain from voting if you think it's all bullshit, but you can't abstain from gender because it's social and other people determine it for you in many ways, and how they determine it for you influences how you think of yourself and "identify." And that's why I get upset, I think. And when you look at African-Americans who say "I don't consider myself black/African-American/etc." it's because they're trying to abstain from this system that is clearly bullshit. And everyone looks around and whispers about it because "oh my goodness, you can't just NOT be a race." because of course, society is constantly inflicting it on you. And how I feel is really the same with gender, I don't want one. And in terms of my dysphoria, that's neither here nor there, it doesn't matter if someone calls me whatever pronouns or whatever name, that's just always there. (which is another can of worms, why people can't understand that)
But that's why I've been feeling really crappy lately. People keep trying to use me to validate their party system and I just want to abstain from the election all together.