brett

DYE DOES NOT KILL YOUR HAIR. I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I CAN TELL PEOPLE THIS. BLEACH. BLEACH KILLS YOUR HAIR.

with that being said, it’s relatively easy to repair your hair. DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY?! WELL IMMA TELL YOU.

BUY ALMOST ANY GODDAMN CONDITIONER. 3 MINUTE DEEP CONDITIONERS WORK BEST BUT STILL. 3 DOLLAR WALMART STUFF WILL DO YOU A WHOLE FRACKING WORLD OF GOOD. YOU SLATHER YOUR HEAD IN THAT SHIT AND LEAVE IT ON FOR A HALF HOUR. TADA MOTHERFUCKER. TA-FUCKING-DA. YOUR HAIR IS GONNA FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WORKS? NOT WASHING YOUR GODDAMN HAIR EVERY DAY LIKE A LUNATIC. THAT’S BAD FOR YOUR HAIR. AFTER BLEACHING YOU SHOULD WAIT TO WASH IT FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN STAND. DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THE NATURAL OILS REPAIR HAIR BETTER THAN ANYTHING YOU CAN BUY AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? IT’S FUCKING FREEEEEEEEEEEE.

NOW, THE THIRD WAY TO MAKE YOUR GOD DAMN GLORIOUS HAIR LOOK NICE AFTER BLEACHING IS TO TRIM OFF THE MOTHERFUDGIN’ DEAD ENDS. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CLIP DEAD ENDS ANYWAYS.

THE DYE DOESN’T DAMAGE YOUR HAIR. IN FACT, IT CONDITIONS A LITTLE BIT. ESPECIALLY VEGETABLE BASED DYES LIKE MANIC PANIC AND STUFF. BASICALLY ALL THE FUN COLORS. PLEASE STOP TELLING PEOPLE WITH DYED HAIR THAT IT’S GONNA TURN TO SHIT. WE KNOW. WE ALSO KNOW HOW TO AVOID IT BECAUSE WE’RE NOT AS IGNORANT AS YOU WERE AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS POST. 

NOW YOU MIGHT ALSO BE THINKING “FINE BUT THIS BITCH DON’T KNOW SHIT”

WRONG MOTHERFUCKER. I FINISHED ALL MY APPRENTICE HOURS TO BECOME A HAIRDRESSER BEFORE QUITTING. MY HAIR HAS BEEN EVER COLOR OF THE FUCKING RAINBOW AND THEN SOME. PERSONAL EXPERIENCE MY FRIEND. MY HAIR IS STILL SOFTER THAN A FUCKING KITTEN.

…But how many times do we hear her compare herself to her sister or to Lila as “Okay so maybe I’m not smart, pretty, funny, popular or nice like Lila/Olga?” Despite the fact that she IS just as smart if not smarter than the both of them? How many times do we hear her compare herself to her best friend Pheobe - who if we are honest, will admit is more STUDIOUS than intelligent. And how many times do we hear her say “Maybe if I was prettier/nicer/smarter Arnold would like-like me back?”