DIVERGE

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i am become OR a sonnet for the macbeths

^^ @heartsofanachronism 🔪🔪🔪 this is such a favorite of mine. I read it to Cato and they were like UGH tumblr people, but I appreciate the drama 😌

SESTINA FOR A HEALED WOUND

^^ @spacewreck51 What an honor. Seriously, Jesus Christ- thank you. I am so proud of this one, and l’m so glad you like it.

i’ll never do the right thing again

New video posted on hayleywilliams.net

EGO EGO EGO u forever inspire me, h

Four of Swords. Art by Jesse Lonergan, from The Unveiled Tarot.

Tracy K. Smith, “Don’t You Wonder, Sometimes?”

“고등학생 때는 맨날 밤마다 울다가 잠드는 게 일상이었어요. 부모님도 모르실 거예요. 원래 누구나 그런 거라고 생각했어요. 그게 우울증이었다는 것은 군대에서 알게 됐어요. 입대를 했는데 막힌 공간에 사니까, 불면증도 오고 밥을 못 먹겠더라고요. 군의관이랑 상담을 했더니 ‘중증 우울 같은데 왜 들어왔냐고, 당장 나가라’고 하시는 거예요. 정신과를 가야했는데, 처음엔 부모님이 되게 반대하셨어요. 옛날 분들이셔서 정신과에 대한 선입견이 있으셨거든요. 미루고 미루다가 군대 문제가 걸려서 병원에 가서 여러 가지 테스트를 받았어요. 의사 선생님이 테스트 결과를 가져오시더니 저희 부모님을 혼내시더라고요. 심각한 상황인데 왜 이제서야 애를 데리고 오셨냐고. 그때서야 제가 우울증이라는 걸 알게 된거죠.” “처음 우울증이라는 걸 알았을 때 어떠셨어요?” “그 땐 부모님 걱정을 했던 거 같아요. ‘왜 나 때문에 우리 부모님이 선생님께 혼나고 있지’하는 생각. 한참 후에 전문적으로 상담을 공부하면서 알게 됐어요. 성인이 되어서까지 ‘분리’가 안 됐던 건데, 쉽게 말해 정신적으로 독립하지 못했던 거죠.” “When I was in high school, crying myself to sleep each night was a daily occurrence for me. I bet not even my parents know. I used to think that everyone was like that. But I found out that it was depression when I was in the military. Enlisting meant that I had to live in a confined space, and so I developed insomnia and lost my appetite. I got some counseling from the medical officer, and they told me, ‘It seems like you have severe depression. Why did you enlist? You have to leave now.’ I was supposed to go see a psychiatrist, but my mom was totally against the idea. She’s old-fashioned, so she probably was thinking, ‘There’s no way my son has a mental illness.’ We kept putting it off, but finally I had a problem in the military where I had to go to the hospital and get a couple of tests done. After the doctor brought in my results, they started to get angry at my mom: ‘His case is serious, why did you wait so long to bring him in?’ That’s when I really found out that I had depression.” “How did you feel when you first found out?” “I think I was more worried about my mom: ‘Why is my mom getting yelled at because of me?’ Quite a while later while I was studying counseling professionally, I found out that I hadn’t been able to ‘separate’ myself even after becoming an adult. In other words, I hadn’t been able to become mentally independent.” - HOS Series: 요즘의 작가들 (Today’s Writers) -