Genre: Fluff/(slight) Angst/Idol AU
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
A/N: Okay. This story is probably going to move at break neck speed. Enjoy cupcakes.
Trigger warning: Open marriage.
The jelly lollies always gave you a tummy ache, they never sat well with you. You picked the dark chocolate bar instead, much more up your alley. The dark chocolate helped the guilt a bit too. You turned to the little boy next to you.
“M, what would like to snack on? Can we get you some pop corn?”
He did a little jump grinning from ear to ear. “Yes mum!”
Ah the Friday night ritual you had with your little boy was one of the little joys in life that kept you going. Movie night it was. You made your way to the register to pay, Moses trailing behind you, getting distracted with everything possible as he trailed along.
“Mum can I get a lollipop please?”
You tried your best to ingrain healthy habits in your son, it’s one of the little things that you could control in your lives, where everything else could chaotic, which in turn could get scary at times. All you wanted in life is to be the best you could be for him.
Being mum and dad at the same time had its challenges. For starters, you weren’t a dad. That entails being a man with interests of the same. You didn’t like sports, but took M to a sport once a week. You weren’t a man, but made sure M had close relationships with other male figures in your lives, like his grandfathers, your brothers, your best friend of course, his dad. Who were also all overseas, which didn’t help entirely. But it was there and you were grateful for it.
Before parents day at school, you were always filled with anxieties of all sorts. Would Moses be the only child with one parent present? Would he feel bad not having a dad present? To your utmost gratitude, most kids could not have both parents present most times, which selfishly brought you some relief. Maybe today wasn’t the day that M would be upset or feel like he is missing something.
But course he was missing something. How can you replace a parent, not matter how much you try? When you really thought about it, I sometimes made you choke with anxiety, so you tried your best not to do that, for both your and M’s sake. He was an amazing little boy, who seemed so wise, so understanding. He rarely threw a tantrum, always asked for permission with things he knew wasn’t entirely allowed, and argued like an adult with reasons on his own, like how the red blocks shouldn’t mix with the yellow, because they were conducting different elements. Thinking about it made your heart burst and fill you with awe.
All of these thoughts seemed to pass through your mind at a blurring speed as you looked down at your little boy.
“Ok baby, you can pick one. Now, which color would you like?” You asked with a smile.
“The blue one, please,” he was jumping in excitement again.
After you paid for your items, you were making your way to the exit, when you bumped into someone’s back, dropping your bag in the process. You apologized profusely and bent down to pick your things. The other person bent down too, helping you.
You turned to your son checking if he was okay. M was looking at the man bent in front of him helping you gather your things. Following his gaze you turned to look at the man too. He was young, no older than 21 or 22 for sure. He smiled at M and asked him playfully holding up the lollipop, “Hey is this yours? This is my favorite flavor. Can I have it?”
M thought for a bit biting his lip and turned to you. “Mum there are more in the shop, maybe you can get one for him too?”
The young man let out a small laugh and looked at you, raising his eyebrows playfully. You had to laugh.
You slowly got up and took the plastic bag from the younger man. You walked back and got a lollipop without a word, paid for it and came back to the boys. You handed the lollipop to M, which he handed to the young man with a smile.
“Here you are, now we both got a lollipop each!” The younger man clutched the candy to his heart and patted M’s head and thanked him.
“What a marvelous little boy you have. You must be so proud.”
“I am,” You said with a smile on your lips, looking down at M.
“I’m Tae, and thanks for the lollipop btw,” he said holding out his hand, grinning.
“I’m a Noona, so just Noona to you, and this one here is Moses,” you shook his hand and grinned back. He had a strange look in his eyes, like he was amused and in curious at the same time.
“Do you live the area Noona?”
“Yes actually, we live just down the road, don’t we M?” You tugged at your little boy’s hand.
“Yes, mummy and I live in our house, I like our house. It’s where I have all my LEGO and monster trucks, mum and I play with them before bedtime.”
Tae looked at you again with a slightly puzzled look on his face, which slowly turned to realization. You kind of understood what it might be about. You smiled softly, took M’s hand in yours and bent down to him.
“Now, say ‘bye bye Tae, see you later’.”
“Bye bye Tae,” M said grinning, and Tae pat his head gently.
You looked to Tae. “It was nice to meet you Tae.”
“You too Noona,” he said holding your gaze, which broke away with a smile and walked out with your son.
The following Friday came around again, and M already had a list of snacks he wanted this time. It was popcorn and a lollipop. You laughed internally and you made your way to the corner store.
You came up to the moment when M got to choose his color and bent down next to him to discuss it.
“You’re going to get me one too, right?”
Both you and M turned to the voice above you.
“Oh hey...,” you wracked your brain for his name.
“Hi Tae!” M was jumping excitedly.
“… Tae!” You finished your greeting.
Tae laughed and bent down next to the two of you.
“I would like the red one please.”
Without a word you picked up one up and laughed softly.
“I would like the red one too!” M piped.
“Good choice! We have the same taste,” Tae shook his hand with Moses.
“Do you do this often Noona?”
“What, like lollipops? Oh no, only Friday nights, when it’s movie night. We get to stay up a bit later and snack too. It’s exciting isn’t it M?”
“Yup. And I get to choose the movie most of the time,” said M.
“Oh and what did you choose tonight,” Tae asked M with interest and raised eye brows.
“Ice age 1,” M said with one finger sticking out to emphasize the ‘1′.
“Ohhh that sounds so exciting,” Tae pouted.
“What movie are you watching tonight Tae?”
“Nothing,” Tae replied with his still evident pout and looked at you.
You looked back at him with a bit of puzzlement and amusement.
“Mum, can Tae come and watch Ice Age with us? He looks sad.”
Tae looked back at M and pushed out his pout even more.
You laughed softly. “Well, maybe another day, when Tae wants to come and knows us a bit better?”
“But he already knows us, don’t you Tae!”
You laughed softly again, and so did Tae.
“Mummy is right M, maybe we should have lunch together first and then I can come watch a movie with you.” Tae looked from M to you, his pout long gone, replaced with asking eyes.
“I think we could do that,” you replied, feeling a bit tentative and amused at the same time.
“Give me your number Noona,” Tae said handing you his phone.
As you handed his phone back to him, Tae and you both stood up, looking at each other. This was no biggy, he was a nice kid who was being lovely to M. M seemed to like him too. Hanging out with a new friend from time to time was healthy, you thought. Why did Tae’s expression seem so eager though?
“Great, I’ll text you Noona. Bye M, tell me how the movie was okay?” And then Tae smiled and headed out.
Tae: hey Noona, Tae here. I hope I’m not disturbing you. Would you like to have lunch this Sunday? I told Moses I would and I don’t want to go back on my word.
You thought it was sweet that Tae thought of M first and smiled.
You: you’re not disturbing, I just put M to bed for the night :) Yes we are available for lunch this Sunday.
Tae: awesome. Do you know Cafe O, two blocks down from the corner store?
You: yeah it’s one of our favorites actually. Their play area is nice.
Tae: what time does M have lunch? I will meet you guys there?
You: 12:30pm, will that work for you?
Tae: yup, it will. I look forward to it. See you then Noona.
Sunday lunch time was fun, the food was good and M gobbled down so he could take off to the play area. You and Tae followed him in and sat on the bench with your drinks, watching the kids as they played.
“How long have you and M been here Noona?”
“About 6 months. We moved here for my work. It’s harder than I thought it would be, but he makes it all worth it.” You smiled as you looked at your son.
“He is an amazing little boy. He’s lucky to have a mother like you,” Tae said softly, also looking at M as he played on the slide.
Somehow Tae’s few words made your heart clench. Yes, you were trying your best, and yes you were trying to be so strong all the time, but sometimes it just got so so hard. When you had to stay back at work because of some meeting or something or the other, you knew that M would be okay at after school care, but the guilt was all consuming. You felt like you were not enough. Not for what M needed in his life, and it killed you, and to have Tae say what he did just now brought tears to your eyes.
You felt Tae wrap his arm around your shoulder gently and sit closer.
“I’m sorry, I’m being a nut case,” you laughed softly as you wiped at your eyes.
Tae remained silent and still had his arm around you. He lifted his hand and gently moved your hair behind your ear. It was a small playful gesture but somehow it gave your little butterflies in your stomach, and you weren’t sure if it was appropriate. You laughed softly again, looking at the drink in your hands. Tae dropped his hand and grinned, taking a sip of his drink.
The cafe was close to your place and three of you walked back together. When you got to the front of your building, you looked at Tae, who was having a chat with M about a red car they saw on the road on the way. M was a happy and friendly kid, but Taes’ and M’s rapport seemed so natural, and you were glad you had made a friend in Tae.
You: I had a good time hanging out today Tae. Hope Moses didn’t tire you out too much.
Tae: I had an awesome time, M is so cool.
You: he won’t stop talking about you so I guess he thinks you’re cool too.
Tae: and what do you think
You: I’m still figuring that out
You: sorry about the waterworks btw, you probably already think I’m a paranoid ol momma hahah
Tae: I think you’re an amazing young momma who happens to be really hot.
That caught you completely off guard and you felt your heart pick up pace. Wasn’t this line of talk inappropriate? Forbidden, even?
You: Thanks? :) you better get to sleep soon, it’s Monday tomorrow.
Tae: I guess I’ll have to let you off the hook for now, but this conversation is not over. Goodnight Noona :)
You lay in your bed, heart pounding steadily and slowly thinking about Tae, and you squeezed our eyes shut. You sighed and pulled your blanket up over your face. This was wrong. So wrong. He was too young, and by now you knew that he was a famous person. Your life was too complicated as it is. You would just have to try and snub these little feelings, whatever they were, was that was starting to flutter up in your belly at the thought of him. Perhaps it just came down to your hiatus from men in general. Maybe it had been too long, and now it was causing your heart all these little jumps.
Just be a good Noona to him, you said to yourself and closed your eyes.
You tried not to initiate any conversation with Tae, but he kept texting you throughout the week, which you responded to like the good Noona that you were behaving like, but on Thursday he asked you to coffee after work. You could spare 15 mins before you had to pick M up so you agreed. You really wondered what it was about.
As you sat across from each other at the table in Garosu-gil, Tae in full undercover gear, he slowly rolled the coffee cup in his hand, looking at it, as if thinking from what you could make out.
You watched him and waited.
“Noona, I don’t know much about you and your life at the moment,” he looked up at you, “but I would like to do that if you will let me.”
You looked at him, curiosity burning away in your core as you heart beat a little bit faster against your will. Where was this heading?
You slowly took a sip of your coffee, bit your lower lip, and started, looking down at your cup.
“I am practically a single mother, Moses being my son. We moved here six months ago for my work. M goes to an international school where he is able to manage well due to the language. Our life is pretty simple. It’s just the two of us here. I have a husband back home. He is married to his work...,” you smiled sadly. “He is a good man, but... well, let’s just say he has never been very present in our lives. I wanted to work overseas for awhile so when this opportunity came up, I took it. I brought M with me. We do go back from time to time to visit. But that’s us for now.”
Tae went completely silent as he looked down at the coffee in his hands, a completely calm look in his eyes. From your conversations throughout the week, it seemed like he kind of liked you, but having discovered that you were married might not be swaying things in its favor, which did cause you come relief in its own way. Maybe he would stop contacting you so often and help your poor heart in the process. You were married to a man you didn’t see, even when you visited. For the six years that you have been married, you were really together as a couple for the first year. After you fell pregnant, things changed unconsciously, unintentionally. You knew you still loved each other because of M, but you didn’t really love each other as partners. You had a silent understanding with Moses’ father, which is probably why you weren’t divorced. The both of you didn’t take that step thinking about what was best for M at that point in time, so you remained married, but you didn’t really live as a couple. You sighed as you subconsciously faded away in your thoughts in silence. You heard a small sigh from across the table from you, bringing you attention back to Tae.
Tae. You smiled as you looked at the now more concentrated look creasing his brows, lookinig like he really had a lot to say. You sighed. Despite how incredibly attractive he was, and that he and M liked each other, you knew Tae was young. Too young. He didn’t need the complication that your life might bring him even remotely, given how famous he was. It would never be a simple situation, and you let out a little open mouthed breath as you looked at Tae. So young, so innocent.
He finally spoke, which almost took you by surprise given how long he had been quiet for.
“If you don’t mind me asking Noona, are you and your husband close?” You smiled. “Depends on the context of your question.”
“Well,” Tae started slowly, “you said that he wasn’t really present in your lives... So you are you still close to him?”
You sighed. You knew exactly what he was asking. “No,” you said softly, looking down at your hands.
“I would like to see you Noona,” Tae said softy. “I know you are married, and I would understand if you said no, I would completely get it. But I thought I would let you know how I feel,” he raised his face to look into your eyes, setting a firm hold on your gaze and your breath caught.
You sat dumbfounded as you looked back at him, completely taken aback. Sure, you kind of got the hint that he sort of liked you in some way, and that the fluttering in your belly was only down to you and your lack of intimate contact with the male human species for a long period of time, and perhaps even your delusions, but you weren’t expecting this. For Tae to say that he wanted to... see you, and to be so firm in saying so. Especially after the revelations that he had asked for, revelations so against the favor of you ever remotely getting together, and you suddenly felt anxious, nervous and disbelief almost.
You pursed your lips together, leaned closer to him across from you and finally spoke.
“Tae, that’s not a good idea.”
“I know,” he said looking into your eyes, sending your heart into a silly thumping dance in your chest and a blush crept up your cheeks. You had to be the adult here, clearly. To Tae and your stupid heart.
You sighed and sat back in your chair.
“Tae,” you started softly, “ “It would be too complicated. It might get more complicated than you understand. You are famous, and you are young. I am married, I am a mum,” you scoffed sadly at the situation. “It is almost like this is forbidden in every way,” you breathed out and looked back into his eyes. “Why would you want to risk any of it at all?”
“What is a life lived if I cannot follow my instincts Noona? With something so basic and important as who I want?” he swallowed, still looking deep into your eyes, and you felt a warmth spread around your body at the intensity of his words.
“Tae...,” you closed your eyes in soft protest, unable to keep a firm front anymore.
“Noona, if you like me, even a little, can you at least give this a chance?” His eyes were so asking that they made you breathless. He was making you breathless, and the sincerity in his question was dissolving all your ‘adult’ resolve.
You sighed. "I dont know Tae...,” you answered, because you did like him too, against all better judgement, against all rationality.
You looked back him, and the look on his face did not help at all. Another deep shaky sigh left your chest. “Okay.”
His face displayed shock and you guessed his mouth was probably open a little under that mask of his. “Really?? Okay okay, you already agreed. It’s settled then,” he grinned and reached out and held your hand, looking into your eyes, smiling.
“Does that mean I can come to movie night tomorrow then?”
“Only if you get the snacks”
Ice age 2 was on, and the entire time M and Tae shared the pack of pop corn amicably, with Tae feeding M from time to time. They looked so sweet. Tae would look at you from time to time and smile, and you would smile back in slight amusement. You still didn’t now how this was going to span out, and the Noona in you still felt tentative to say the least.
You just watched them for most of the evening. After M was tucked into bed, Tae held your hand leading you to the living room and pulled you down to sit beside him.
Tae looked at you and a wide boxy smile, making you giggle. Damn, were you actually being shy now?
He tucked stray strands of hair behind your ear and his smile became more subtle as he looked at you. “I’ve been waiting to do this all night Noona,” he said softly, and leaned in slowly and kissed you. Your lips moved slowly and softly together, and you let him pull you closer. Your hands tentatively came to wrap around his neck gently as he deepened the kiss, holding you closer and you felt your anxiousness and apprehensions slide away slowly, now breathless and the butterflies in your stomach were growing in a frenzy. “It’ll be okay Noona,” Tae said against your lips and kissed you again, hungrily and soon your chest gifted him with a soft moan. He was making you feel so safe despite the tide of the everything that you were in, and you felt yourself letting go and letting him take control. Tae pulled apart breathlessly, stood up and walked you both to your bedroom.
The next morning you woke up and made M his favorite pancakes for breakfast. You sat together and talked as he ate his meal. You made a plan to go the fish pond after you were done with his drum lessons in the morning.
You turned to see Tae coming out rubbing his eyes and a deep blush painted your cheeks.
“Sorry hope we didn’t disturb you,” you said with a small smile.
“Tae did you sleep here yesterday? Next time you can sleep in my room.”
Tae laughed and kissed M’s head affectionately.
Then her walked over to you and kissed the side of your head, making you blush harder. “Good morning,” he said with a deep groggy voice, smiling into your hair.
M saw this and seemed a bit shocked.
You smiled and moved closer to M. “Come on baby, you don’t want your pancakes getting cold”.
Tae walked to the kitchen and slowly drank a glass of water as he watched you both sitting in the morning sun streaming in through your glass walls and smiled.
There was a deep warmth spreading inside him, and he welcomed it.
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