Existential fatigue

It's exhausting not thinking about all the things I have to not think about these days.

im so tired of existence, so tired... and yet i remain, remain, remain

appearances just endless appearances

stupid stupid stupid dumb motherfucker, hurt and incapable

i'm 26, i'm a white man living in the first world, my childhood was fine and my team just won and i'm sad, what a fucking idiot i am

i dont know if i can actyually do this anymore like li e do the thing live where you liove the thing where you are alive

they want me to fuck her, and i say "i dont want to fuck her, she is undesirable in such and such way" and they say "BUT YOU ARE THE SAME" and i say "i will set everyone, everythignm, and myself on fire. how the fuck dare you. i will kill you. i will kill everyone.":

tired exhausted shot depleted  cashed totaled  worn the heck out worn the fuck-all out wrung dry whacked tuckered out more dead than alive

LIKE YOU WANT TO HURT YOURSELF BUT REALY HAT WOULD THAT DO THIS IS A RECORD OF YOUR SHAME

ill kll you ill kill you ill fucking kill you ill kill you jesus fucking christ al;l you get is fucking pity imagine shit like that being tossed to you toure a fucking animal just look at yourself look at those actual pepole living their lives what the fuck is wrong with you just fucking stop talking there is no hope 

drunk as fuck jessus i hate being alive but i can't stop so its like whatever

do you like seeing me debase myself does it make you hard to see me feel awful is that why you say things like that to people, are you aroused right now do you feel powerful come on [internet user] answer me how much of a man does it make you feel like when you insult mentally unstable people you feel like a real person now cause i admit it im trash you're god you're fucking yahweh and shiva and sophia and allah and ganesh all fucking rolled into one perfect being you're the end all be all alpha and omega fucking wheel turning eternal being i love you i love everything and everyone

also the part where im literally subhuman like seriously im so awful that i'm not protected by law, except where animal abuse is applicable 

im saying, given the state of society, wanting to die is perfectly reasonable but we are shamed, bullied, and brain-washed by the fascist elite in to believing that it's morally repugnant to do so and we are denied through PHYSICAL FORCE the means to end our own lives

it's all a fucking joke what's wrong with all of us why the fuck can't i die the fact that i am alive is objectively proof that there is no benevolent god

also dont listen to me im a fucking subhuman shit