T a l k - S i c k.

One day a long time ago I received an envelope in the mail. Inside was a peice of paper reading "Hi there Sky, I am your conscious. I am where you store your decisions made and the effects they cause. Please keep me with you at all times and pls remember to never throw me away." so I shoved the paper in my back pocket and carried on with my days. For several months I kept the peice of paper with Me. A pain in the ass it came to be to carry around this torn up tattered peice of paper. It really just bugged me to hafto have it everywhere I went. Then one day my doorbell rang and when I opened it up there was a parcel on my front step. Inside read the exact same thing as the previous letter only this time it was in the form of this big uncomfortable bulky parcel. So I sighed but did as it said and carried this massive box with me absolutely everywhere I went. Again a few months down the road i got a bigger package and several after that an even bigger one. I was exhausted and prayed to God for something to change. The packages became too heavy to move eventually. I literally wasn't strong enough anymore to keep lugging around these massive boxes of guilt. Because that's what I've realized has happened. My previous choices have filled my life with so much pain and so much guilt that i now have become barried in it and don't know how to get out and don't see a hint of light anywhere in sight. So i keep trudging on feeling hopeless. Trying so hard to move this mountain of shame i literally feel chained to now. I feel hopeless and full of regret and hate feeling sorry for myself like this but do not know what to do. The worst part is those bad decisions have shaped my entire life. They became my "life." I have no choice but to keep living. Living in pain.