Queer creature

hi everyone Umm *twirls my hair* rogozhin stabbing myshkin and myshkin pushing the knife deeper into his own body to hug him

Got too hung up on preparing for my thesis defense for the 22nd of may and overdosing on rogomysh at the same time I completely forgot today’s my birthday 😭😭😭

self proclaimed freaks are baffled by people jerking it to crime and punishment. poseurs...

every time i start reading any dostoevsky book i start remembering how good the idiot was and then i go on tumblr dot com to reblog 1800s gay people

never ever getting over nastasya saying 'stop crying! it's not the end of the world! laugh and be merry, like me" as two large tears begin falling down her cheeks

Rogomysh is so much more tragic if you think about how Rogozhin might not even have close friends or even just friends in general that he can confide or have genuine bond to begin with.. everyone around him is either a scoundrel, trying to get his money or looking down at him. ofc when Myshkin enters the picture he gets frustrated bcs in his POV this is the first time a guy sincerely wanted to be his friend.. to be his brother even! But he’s a supposed rival to him! And he’s so nice and kind to him and sees him for who he is instead of his wealth or his rough demeanor… it’s a new feeling for him when you consider his traumatic background where he’s constantly beaten for showing emotions; every time he felt even slightly drawn to someone, he automatically assumes that it’s wrong for him to be feeling like that. Like it might not even be attraction necessarily, maybe just adoration or awe, but his thrashings from his father ironically made his purest feelings into misled understanding. Like what if what he felt wasn’t attraction or desire but just simply affection? It’s as if he’s cursed himself; he’s passionate and lustful because the only form of love he’s ever known is just that

I am normal. I am normal about Rogozhin. I definitely am not thinking about how he lived with a strict father who would castrate him as his father greatly respects skoptsy (known for practising the emasculation of men, the mastectomy and the female genital mutilation of women in accordance with their teachings against sexual lust). I’m not thinking how his act of sneaking out to see Nastasya and buying her pearl earrings (in the first part) is his first act of rebellion and his burning desire for her is his repressed sexuality which has no healthy outlet and drives him to the point of dark obession. I’m not thinking about how, despite him loathing his father, has become exactly like him (violent and possessive), and even as far as living in the same gloomy place which shackles him to begin with. I’m not thinking of the implication that the reason he rejects myshkin’s love is that he denies admitting that he still craves a loving father figure in his life, and to accept that truth would mean that he would submit to another man, which to him is emasculating and therefore is terrifying; referring back to his past trauma of emasculation. I am normal. I am sooooo normal.

it is so funny that raskolnikov’s whole family believes the dunya/luzhin engagement drama is the A-plot of their drama in petersburg while raskolnikov is like going around the city in a complete delirium telling everyone about how he killed two people. and the thing is raskolnikov ALSO thinks his sister is the main character

dunya and raskolnikov both believe the other to be living a worse horror story even though raskolnikov’s is that he murdered people and dunya is like, engaged to a podcaster