Exchange Journey

HAHA! Still posting right here. But if you read my blog you would have known how worried I was throughout the whole exchange about my results. But truly, thank God, for His grace, for blessing me with good results and passing all my modules there. It have really taught me that if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it! I’ll start writing again on my main page, if anyone really reads what I write, you can go to the other page to get latest live updates about my life over there. I’ll start writing again, cause I realized, writing helped me alot in expressing my thoughts and feelings.  Once again... The last time, Goodbye! And thank you everyone, anyone, who have came to this blog, read through it and just hope that through them some one have been blessed by it. 

This is it! I am home! 😂 OMG! I still can't believe I am home, it's been a long 4 months. Through it all, I have gained and lost some things. And this trip have definitely been worth it. I have seen things that I thing I would never have been able to realized here in Singapore. Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, you have leave me with memories. Good, bad, they don't really matter, cause all these memories, I will keep them deep in my heart. Your providence through the trip have been really evident, and I have seen a real and faithful God in all my trials and tribulations in Canada. I can never thank You enough, but right now, even as I am on the way to home church, I will learn to trust in You. The rod ahead might just get tougher even as I am back, but I will remember how You have been faithful to me and continue to trust in You faithfulness to me. Holding on to all Your promises to me. The one and final last time, I'll be blogging here. Thank You Jesus! Thank God! HOMEBOUND! 🇸🇬

May God continue to watch over the flight and the safety of all those traveling.

Wow, mixed feelings.... Just like how when I came, everything felt so surreal, maybe my feelings and emotions takes really long to hit me. My heart just got this weird feeling right now. I am going home.... reaching home in 2 days. 😢 I got this confused feeling, am I glad or sad? I don't know. But I just want to Thank God for this trip again, cause it seems no matter how much I thank, I don't think it's enough. Boarding my flight at Toronto Pearson Airport, heart pounding quickly, excited and maybe a little sad that I am leaving. Next stop, London. Counting down..... 2 more days to End of Exchange....

Looking back, 4 months actually really flew by. I thought I couldn't make it through, I thought I would constantly be in tears. I thought I will be homesick. But no, all of that didn't happen so often. I cried, but mostly was when I was having midterms and exams, and when God spoke to me. I missed home, when I was like at my second half of the trip. This feeling right now is hard to explain. It's been good here, I actually loved it here. If only I could live here, along with the rest of my friends and families. I will miss here, but I miss home too. Going back to Singapore, is heading back to reality, to a place where I must go back to living mode instead of surviving mode. Stepping into church would require a huge extra effort on Sunday for Christmas Service. No one is expecting me there except Odelia. And I really wonder how they will react to my early arrival back in SG. I would have my break, away from them, away from meeting up and talking to them for the time being. I need to get my thoughts sorted out before all that. I need to be able to articulate them right, to remember and mention the experiences I had with God here. One thing I realized, is this. This very blog actually recorded every single event that took place here, that was extremely significant to me. No matter was it a spiritually or just life event, every single one of them were recorded right here. And I think I did not waste time on any one of the posts, cause it was all worth it. Coming here, was really to run away from them, from church, from the people. To a certain extent, they have damaged(maybe its too strong a word, but I can't find another word) my relationship with God, about how I perceived God to be, who He is. But coming here made me realized who He is. I found and receive revelations on things that I never prayed for or wanted. Going back, I really want to try to be different, but it's tough. It requires something from me, something a lot more than what I am. I am not sure of all these, but I will try to trust in God. Flight to London is in less than 24 hours.... 🏠 in 3 days...

Truly, I can't thank God enough for all He has done throughout this trip. 😢 Through the ups and downs, He pulled me through it all. Without being in the comfort of home, family and friends, He brought me comfort, letting me know that He has everything in control. He knew I was lonely, He brought me friends and I found myself having a 'home' here. I found belonging here, I found God here. He taught me to remember His promises to me, He taught me to remember that what He says, He will do. That if He have done it once, He could do it again. Honestly, when you draw near to God, He draws near to you too. Maybe I didn't really put in my all, I didn't do my frequent TAWG, but I attended church almost every week, I read devotionals every now and then, I pray, I worship, I spend time with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. It is something I long for, to find myself wanting to belong and feeling that I belonged, that I actually do matter. I found people that cared about me, that tries to get me into conversations even though I am always super awkward and quiet among people. I found people that just knew Christ and have their life changed, getting baptized in less than a year after knowing Christ. Their heart and souls were burning for Jesus, that passion for God was just so overwhelming that it impacted me a lot. First time in my life, I broke down at the altars, allowing people to pray for me, allowing myself to be broken, allowing myself to release my hurts to God, and being healed in the process of it all. Maybe the pain and hurt still lingers, but knowing that God knows and is concerned, I am truly at peace. Father Lord, today I just pray that You will keep these ways, revelations and promises deep in my heart Lord. Engraved them deep within my heart, soul and mind, make it the anchor of my soul, that I may stop wandering and wondering, that I could put my eyes on You and only You. To trust in Your plans, that all will be okay, and that truly only You matter and You are enough for me. I pray Lord, that going back home will not be a going back to a place where I feel uncomfortable that all will be same old same old, but really, I pray that You will set a fire in me to want to belong back at home too, and find a place where I could belong, that I actually mattered. Lord, You know everything that I have been through, the pain, the struggles, the worries, so God, I pray that You will take them away from me even as I leave this place, that I will leave them at Your feet and begin a new. And also, I want to pray for my mother, that she will come to know You and just open her heart, heal her motion sickness so that she would be in comfort and be able to attend Christmas Service on Sunday with me. In Jesus name, I pray. Counting Down.... 4 more Days to End of Exchange.... (2 more days to my flight...)

5 more Days to End of Exchange.... (3 more Days to my Flight...)

Last Sunday here, and... I didn't go to WPA for the last service. But oh well, I still prefer attending The Embassy here. I really hope that I will go tomorrow. Another paper tomorrow and then last one already. I really can't wait for it to end. It's really ending soon, God please grant me wisdom, peace and calamity when I take my paper tomorrow. I think I studied quite a lot for the papers, leaving the rest to God while I do my very best. Counting Down.... 6 more Days to End of Exchange.... (4 more days to my flight...)

When it is your last Saturday here, and you get to fellowship with this bunch of people, I felt like I was at home again. I felt like God’s presence was indeed there. There was joy there, there was love and peace there.  First time meeting some people, and it was really awkward in the beginning, but because it was God that brings us all together, we overcame the awkwardness and talked to each other and share our life with one another. Games was super fun! WE played like Spot it!, Saboteur and Stiga Table Hockey. It was super fun, I realized one thing that brings bond in a family, its these times, when they sit down together to just play some board games instead of 24 hour eye on their phone. It was a time of getting to know each other better through the games and forging a deeper relationship. That was something that maybe my family lacked. I see families travel together, no doubt some part of my heart is deeply longing for a day when my family travel as one. I do envy them, and to me these are dreams, dreams that only God can fulfill. Maybe it is impossible to me right now, but maybe God can turn this around in His way too.  Last Sunday Service at WPA tomorrow, it’s really the last one already. Some part of me might really miss this place a lot, especially my spiritual part, cause that part experienced and grown a lot here. I think in some ways, God healed my wounds here. He made known to me His love, mercy and grace. It is overflowing, unending and always available to me.  7 Days to End of Exchange.... (5 days to my flight home....)

Another exams done! Halfway there!! Alright, had a day of studying and finally headed back after exams. Went out for a walk, the alcohol shop here is surprisingly huge with like a huge variety of alcohol. So many types to choose from, not sure if it is cheaper here than in Singapore. Came back to drinking session, hit me when I was bathing that this was the last drinking and get together session and it may be the last time I see some of these people. I mean, Singapore is really small, but what are the chances that I will sit in the same room with them and have a chill session like this. Anyway, I'll be home soon, see everyone at church next weekend! Cause by then, I'll already be back! Counting Down..... 8 Days to End of Exchange.... (6 days to flying home...)

Did not blog yesterday whenever there is exams my blog will not be updated.  But wow, I was so surprised to see people reblogging and liking my photo post previously. It was indeed a picture that spoke a thousand words. Thank you everyone for liking and reblogging it, it meant a lot to me.  Finally, exams started, just ended a paper yesterday, just hopefully can pass. Next paper is in 3.5 hours time and I am quite certain to pass this module. Last Friday here already, can’t believe it, I am practically counting down for everything, the amount of nights left, the amount of meals left, the amount of everything left. Few more days to exams ending, God carry me through it all, cause I have no more strength already. I am just letting You take hold and lead the way, I am choosing to trust in You, for You have given me more than I could ever wanted.  Counting Down..... 8 more Days to End of Exchange.... (Less than a week to my flight..!!)

Wow! Exams are here already. Tomorrow will be my first paper, I think I can do it, I trust in the Lord, I will rely on Him and not my own strength! Looking at messages close to a year ago made me realized, we are just 2 weeks plus more to a new year. Time really flies, it's been a year. A year since so many things have happened, and 2 years since I came to know Christ. Exchange is coming to an end, it hasn't ended yet, but when that day comes, I want to be able to say I survived Exchange, and I thank God for everything He have done, His providence, guidance and perfect love for me, have helped me to overcome all my fears, doubts and worries here. It's coming to an end..... Counting Down.... 9 more Days to End of Exchange.....

10 more Days to End of Exchange…. (8 more days to flight home…)

It's going to be a white white Christmas here in Canada but I won't be here to celebrate Christmas. It's coming to an end, second last Sunday here was well spent at WPA and in school studying with Joanne and Lester, ending off with a Japanese Ramen Dinner at Kenzo. It wasn't the food or the place or what we did, but it was really purely just the company that made the day a great day. Will we still meet up when we are back in Singapore? Maybe? I am not sure. It's snowing heavy here, 15cm thick snow on the floor. So difficult to walk in it. But wow, it is really nice to see everything white. Counting Down.... 13 more Days to End of Exchange.... (11 more days to my flight...)

14 more days to End of Exchange......

It was a nice day today. I am posting this 1 day late. Oops. Went to ice skating field in the morning, thinking of just taking a stroll and watch my friends ice skate. But turned out, I begin skating too. Wesley and everyone else was really nice, teaching me and holding my hands to teach me how to skate. Then we had lunch at Mikey's didn't eat a lot cause I had no appetite for food. Came back to hostel to study, but wasn't really productive. Just read the notes and try to understand them. I was thinking about having cell, but it got cancelled cause 2 of them can't make it. Then all of a sudden, Lester asked if me and joanne want to go over to his place! Woah! I was really happy, we shared about our exchange learnings and then studied. Halfway through studying, we went out to play with snow. We played snow sleigh, made snow angel and had snowball fights. It was actually really fun! I got a little crazy. Counting Down..... 14 more days to End of Exchange.... (12 more days to flying home...)