ITâS JUST A SHAME, THATâS ALL â THROUGH THE LENS FROM OUTSIDE
âȘ pairing : ot5 cortis x 6th member reader
âȘ summary : a continuation to part one , part two , and part three. life's been different without you but what a loss is to a family, it's a new job for someone else.
âȘ other notes : if the last part drove me insane, this one demolished me. i hope you guys like it because i really did try my best. creds to @/norvixa6 on tiktok for the analog horror imagery. also this is barely edited it's like 4 am but i tried my very best to check any typos.
âhow has it been two months already and still the same information since the first week ?!â your mother screams, hands slamming down on the table. âmaâam please calm down,â officer park tries to deescalate the situation. âno, my daughter went missing two months ago and all any of you do is twiddlÆe with your thumbs instead of looking for her !â your mom cries. âwe are doing everything in our power to find y/n, not a day goes by when we arenât.â
tears start running down your momâs face, there hasnât been a single day where sheâs had a moment in peace. her whole life halted by your disappearance. âi promise you, we will find y/n,â officer park gently pats your mom on the back, handing her a box of tissues. âwe have a new detective working on the case, we are not giving up.â from a few feet away, your brother watches in silence. heâs grown used to how your mom constantly cries.
the car ride home is uncomfortably silent, your brotherâs become the chauffeur of the family. your mom hasnât been able to drive since you disappeared. home isnât any louder. your shoes are still by the door, slowly collecting dust. your jacket still hangs over a chair, one your mom forgot to move when you forgot it after your last visit. now no one moves anything, how can they ? âmom go lie down for a bit, dinner is on me,â he says, mimicking the same soft tone she used on both of you as children.
âhow about we get thai takeout instead ?â she suggests, a lump forms in your brotherâs throat. ââŠyeah of course, whatever you want, iâll let you know when it gets here,â he forces a smile, nodding. your mom makes her way upstairs before calling out, âoh and chul, if thereâs anything new, let me know please.â chul nods, âyeah i will.â but he knows deep inside that there wonât be any updates, itâs just a waiting game with no prize to win.
chul spends most of his days like he did before everything. he attends his classes at his university, works as a cashier afterwards, and goes home to sleep. nothing about his routine has changed yet it feels 10 times more tiring. he can distract himself from thoughts about you during the day but as soon as night falls, everything hits him like a truck. he doesnât cry, but heâs lucky if he gets three hours of sleep. he hates himself for just thinking of this but a part of him has grown to resent you.
not because you ran away, no that would have been easier because at least you would have told someone. but what is he supposed to think when you suddenly disappear ? he knows what the company said, but he doesnât care. he knows you, he knows his sister, you wouldâve never left. though he knows that making a claim against a multimillionaire company with no proof would only result in loss, financial and emotional.
and with the way finances are going, heâd rather not start anything. almost immediately after you disappeared, the company cut off any source of income, claiming that you had breached the contract. royalties you had been receiving for years even before debut were all cut off. with a mix of momâs medicine, her medical bills, mortgage, groceries, and miscellaneous bills, chul tried his best to pick up as many shifts as possible.
not because theyâre about to go completely broke, but because life was starting to become less comfortable. itâs weird to think that the youngest person in the family was the one responsible for most finances. when mom stopped working after her chronic pain became worse, you told her not to worry about it, that youâd take care of it. now instead of just worrying about his tuition payments, he has to make sure expenses donât fall through the roof.
one night, chul stares at your bedroom door before opening it. he winces at the creak, remembering how youâd complain that he never oiled the hinges. he walks in, closing the door behind him. he doesnât bother turning on the light, just sits on the floor next to your bed, letting his back feel the plushness against your mattress. even though you hadnât lived at home in a long time, your room still looks the same as it did years ago.
the only difference now is that youâre not coming home at all. his hands dig into his hoodie pocket, revealing three things. nicotine gum, nicotine patches, and cigarettes. before you even debuted, chul had the habit of smoking cigarettes on a weekly basis. it helped with his stress as much as he didnât want to admit he was addicted to it. youâd immediately cover your nose when he walked by, harshly scolding him. âyouâre so disgusting chul,â heâd just roll his eyes, âwell itâs a good thing youâre not the one doing it huh ?â
it would always end in an argument, until one day when he stopped altogether. âyou know, second hand smoking is also bad, how am i supposed to sing if iâm breathing in your smoke ?â chul raised his eyebrows in confusion. âi smoke with the window open, what the hell are you talking about ?â âthat doesnât matter, that shit penetrates the walls !â you stomped your foot in frustration. âyou wonât even live here in a month, youâre moving to the dorms.â
âokay then if itâs only a few weeks until i leave, quit for now and then you can continue ruining your lungs,â you crossed your arms. âare you worried about your lungs or mine ? make up your mind.â âiâm worried about all of us ! you know mommy canât be breathing it in either,â you stated, flailing your arms. chul hummed, you made a good argument. so he finally made the decision to go cold turkey.
âokay, just until you leave, iâll stop smoking and i promise that any future smoking will be done outside, how does that sound ?â chul smooshes his cigarette into his ash tray. you blink at him before smiling brightly, âreally ?!â chul rolled his eyes, âyes really.â you immediately wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tightly. âi knew you loved me !â your voice muffled against his shirt. âdonât get ahead of yourself,â he awkwardly patted your back.
itâs been almost three years since that conversation and since then, chul hadnât smoked. the first two weeks without smoking were absolute hell, just the aspect of not having anything to wind down after a hard long day sent cold shivers down his spine. yet, he kept his promise, doing everything to fill that void. his oral fixation was satisfied when he shoved a chapstick between his lips, a little gross but it sufficed.
after you left, he challenged himself to try one more month of not smoking, just to prove to himself and to you that he wasnât addicted. eventually that challenge became his lifestyle, clean lungs and no lingering smoke smell on his clothes. but now chul looks down at the floor in front of him. âfuck,â he curses to himself, biting his cheek hard enough to make it bleed. he just needs something real, anything to make that ache go away.
he picks up the gum packet, reading the instructions on the back, effective in 10-15 minutes. âwho the hell waits that long ?â he drops them on the floor again before grabbing the patches, turning it over, effective in 2-4 hours. âare these fuckers trying to kill me or something ?â he scoffs, throwing them on the floor, this time with more force. he sighs, turning his gaze to the pack of cigarettes. he canât, he canât just give it all up right nowâŠbut he needs it.
âjust one,â a wobbly smile forms on his face, shaky hands ripping off the plastic wrapping. then- BUZZZZ. âshit,â chul jolts, dropping the pack. he reaches again into his pocket, now pulling out his phone. itâs an unknown number listed under the police department. he immediately answers, âhello ?â an unfamiliar voice speaks, âgood evening, is this chul l/n ?â chul sits up straight, reaching for the nicotine gum. âyes, this is him.â
âmy name is detective kang hyeok-jin, i was assigned to your sisterâs case about a week ago,â detective kang introduces himself. âi know it can be very frustrating and repetitive to answer the same questions but iâd like to get some details about y/n so i can understand her disappearance as best as i can.â chul shoves three nicotine gums into his mouth, face contorting in disgust. âyeah of course, iâll answer anything if it helps you guys find my sister.â
across town, a sleep deprived hyeok-jin asks chul several questions. he writes them down in messy handwriting, just enough for him to understand. âthank you mr. l/n, this was very helpful. iâll dedicate myself to finding your sister,â hyeok-jin grips the phone tighter. âyouâre not the first one to say thatâŠbut i hope that youâll actually help,â chul sighs into the phone, obviously tired out by these two past months.
âiâm sorry to hear that, i know it hasnât been easy for your family, iâll do everything i can to get her back,â hyeok-jin sets his pen down. a small pause comes from the other line âyeahâŠthank you for calling anyway.â even though they arenât face to face, hyeok-jin can sense the hesitation and defeat in chulâs voice. âiâll let you rest then, iâll keep you updated on anything and everything, please save my number into your phone, and have a goodnight.â
âalright, thank you, goodnight,â without another beat, the line is cut. hyeok-jin lays his phone face flat onto his desk, rubbing his hands over his face. heâs been looking over this case for only a week and heâs beyond confused. everything that should be there is there but your case file is small to say the least. the longest document is the companyâs statement and proof that you breached your contract and could even be sued.
everything else is justâŠthere. âhey boy, you should head home, youâve been here two hours overtime,â lieutenant baek sun-woo calls out to him. âiâll go home soon ! i was just reviewing the case you gave me,â hyeok-jin gives his supervisor a tired smile. âdonât you have a wife and a kid to get home to ?â the lieutenant asks. âi actually donât have a girlfriend sir,â that statement is immediately welcomed with an up and down stare, âwell that explains a lot.â
hyeok-jin tilts his head in confusion, but doesnât have enough time to reply before lieutenant baek bids his goodbye. âgo home before any chance of having a girlfriend disappears completely.â hyeok-jin forces out a laugh, âyes sir !â a few minutes later, the office falls completely silent, the only sound coming from the light over his head. hyeok-jin looks back down at your case, furrowing his eyebrows. missing person report. photos of the cctv footage. company statement. lack of witness statements.
the more he thinks, the more heâs confused. he flips through the interviews of different people you were close with, your family, your members, even workers from your favorite stores. they all said the same thing : you would have never left out of your own will. except for one person. when asked by the police if it seems likely that youâd run away, edwards martin stated âi would like to say no but y/n has always been a complicated person, so iâm unsure.â
hyeok-jin leans back in his chair, it wouldâve made sense if everyone or most people had the same idea of you but to only have one person, specifically the last person that saw you ? âhey youâre not heading out yet ?â a familiar voice grabs his attention, itâs officer kim. âiâm about to leave, was just looking over some things,â he smiles at her. âgood, donât overwork yourself,â she nods, walking closer to him. âactually since youâre here, were you at the scene during the investigation with that one idol ?â he asks, pushing the case file to his friend.
âno, i was off that day but i did hear some things about it, why ?â she flips through it. âit just seems weird, almost like it wasnâtâŠthoroughly investigated, everything is so short,â he hesitates on his words, not wanting to overstep a line. âi canât say much about it honestly, missing person cases are always weird to handle especially when her company is contradicting it as a whole,â officer kim frowns. âyeahâŠiâll look more into that, thanks though,â hyeok-jin sighs, grabbing the file from her.
âalso, shouldnât you also be going home too ?â he asks officer kim. ânormally yes but they changed me to night shift, just until one of the guys gets back from paternity leave,â she shakes her head. âoh i see, well make sure to stock up on energy drinks and coffee,â he cracks a joke making officer kim snort. âwill do, thanks, now go home and sleep before your brain gives out,â she clears her throat, giving him a small wave. âthanks, have a good shift !â once left alone again, hyeok-jin exhales. heâs tired and confused but he does know something, tomorrowâs a new day.
when chul wakes up, he groans in pain. how did you even sleep on your bed every night when you were little if itâs harder than a rock ?! your unicorn plushie is directly under his neck, your lion plushie is tucked between his armpit. he sits up, rubbing his eyes. on your nightstand is his nicotine products, unopened patches, opened gums, and half unwrapped cigarettes. he looks around your room now that the sun is peeking beyond the curtains. it almost makes him sick, he hates being here during the day where he can see the remnants of your memory as a child.
almost immediately, he fixes your bed before grabbing his things and leaving the room. he thinks heâll die if he stays in there for another minute. when he goes downstairs, he sees mom, buttoning up her bright pink vest. âmom youâre already leaving ?â he asks, grabbing her purse. âearly bird gets the worm honey,â she smiles, looking at him. âseeing you go out like this every day worries me,â chul expresses his discomfort.
ânot knowing where your sister is worries me,â she ends his argument. âplease be safe then, and donât stand or walk for too long,â hyeok-jin gives the older woman a tight hug. âwalking is good for me, you know that,â she shrugs him off, walking to the front door. momâs been avoidant lately, less affectionate and more sad, not on purpose but because her mind is clouded by worrying about you. he wishes everything could be normal again.
when lieutenant baek invites hyeok-jin out for lunch, he almost refused. it was weird, not in a suspicious way but he had never had a supervisor buy him lunch. yet here he is, stuffing his mouth with meat. âso hyeok-jin, you came from jeju island right ?â lieutenant baek asks him. hyeok-jin nods, swallowing his food. âhow come you came to seoul ? iâd die to live on jeju,â the lieutenant chuckles, sipping a bit of his soup.
âi heard seoul is a good place for detectives to grow,â he replies, awkwardly smiling. âreally ? i heard there was a lot of crime there,â he shakes his head at his superiorâs words. âno, we just have a lot of tourists and most of them are respectful but thereâs a handful that just ruin it for everyone. and even then a lot of the crimes are straight forward, a little burglary here, a little fight there, itâs all very simple,â he sighs.
âno wonder youâre going all in for this missing girl case,â the older man chuckles. hyeok-jin places his chopsticks down, wiping his mouth with a napkin âactually i wanted to talk to you about that.â the lieutenant looks at him, eyebrow raised. âwhyâŠdid you put me on y/n l/nâs case ? i appreciate it of course, itâs an honor but itâs a big case for a newcomer no ?â he asks, looking off to the side. lieutenant baek hesitates to answer before exhaling.
âitâs a big case but itâs also a dead end.â hyeok-jinâs puzzled by his answer. âwhat do you mean ?â âyou know how you had simple cases in jeju ? itâs similar to this oneâŠwhether her family and friends want to admit it or not, the girl probably ran away. thereâs no proof otherwise and itâd be hard for her company to fake something like that so boldly.â lieutenant baek explains his thinking, itâs clear by now that heâs set on this idea.
hyeok-jin shifts uncomfortably in his seat, unsure of what to say. âwhen you have your children, youâll understand that this is the type of things teenagers do when theyâre pent up,â his superior attempts to reassure him. âit doesnât make sense though-â âplease donât think too much about it kid, digging into it will only waste your time.â hyeok-jin shuts his mouth, beginning to become irritated.
âbesides letâs say worst case scenario, the company was involved since apparently thatâs folks favorite theory, sheâs probably living a good life down low. i mean, think about it, people do a lot for money, money talks and money runs the world.â the older man waves off the situation. instead of arguing and possibly losing his job, hyeok-jin calms himself down âif you say soâŠâ
chulâs day was uneventful to say the least, the same long and boring routine. school and work, nothing to celebrate but nothing to complain about. that is until he had to pick up momâs medicine. he walked in and out of the pharmacy three separate times, waiting for his check for that week to hit his bank account. when it finally does, heâs only left with a few thousand won afterwards, even with the coupon the pharmacist offered.
as fucked up as it sounds, heâs glad that only a few people know that heâs your brother. he canât imagine the looks of pity and people whispering under their breath âpoor guy, it must suck being himâ or even âwow heâs an idolâs brother but he could barely afford medicine.â heâd probably die out of the embarrassment. when he reaches home, the sunâs already gone down.
heâs about to reach for his keys, but having the habit of checking if the door is unlocked gets to him first. surprisingly, itâs open. chul furrows his eyebrows, did mom forget to lock it ? he quietly steps inside, just in case somethingâs happening. âi wouldnât possibly be able to accept that,â chul hears mom talking in the kitchen. âitâs really okay donât worry, youâre basically my second mom,â oh itâs martin.
chul stands outside of the kitchen, listening quietly to the conversation. ây/n isnât here but i know she would have wanted me to help,â martin tries to persuade mom on something. âbut itâs so much moneyâŠâ mom sighs. âexactly, and iâm guessing chulâs been paying for your medicine, so think about it like this : iâm not only helping you, iâm also helping him,â so thatâs what this is about, momâs medicine.
chul remembers the first time you met martin. it was during a hot summer day in august, both of you were sweaty in boiling heat. martin had approached you, offering to push you on the swing after seeing you fail to get momentum which later led into a game of tag. it was cute and wholesome. what chul didnât expect was for this to blossom into a friendship, the kind every kid desires to have.
as years passed and both of you grew, martin still chased after you, almost like a person running alongside a butterfly. wherever you went, martin soon followed. he liked martin for the most part, especially because you also never had a bad thing to say about him. when chul found out youâd be in the same group, he was relieved youâd have a best friend beside you and also someone he trusts fully.
chul steps back when he hears footsteps approach the doorway. martin is startled back when he sees chul, âyou scared me sorry,â he laughs, a smile forming on his face. ânice to see you too,â chul nods, leading him to the front door. âoh by the way,â chul stops martin just as heâs about to leave. âthe police assigned a new detective to y/nâs case.â martin doesnât turn around, he pauses for a second.
âis that so ?â he asks in a low voice. âyeah,â âthatâs good,â martin nods, âlet me know if they say anything new.â chul hums, âi will donât worry, goodnight martin,â with nothing more to say, martin opens the front door and leaves. chul doesnât blame martin for acting weird, everyone handles bad situations differently. he knows itâs been hard on martin, he can only hope the members are all united on this.
itâs been a month since lieutenant baek took hyeok-jin for lunch. over three months since youâve been gone. hyeok-jin knows that his lieutenant told him not to dig around but can he just stay still ? unfortunately however, hybe and bighit have not cooperated whatsoever. not outright refusing, rather just not responding at all. phone calls to higher ups in the company lead to an hour wait only for the call to suddenly hang up.
he doesnât have any luck getting paperwork from them either despite the multiple attempts of contact. public records were extremely shortened and difficult to find. itâs just been a full month of frustration and lack of response. he crumbles up a piece of paper, throwing it into the trash can next to his desk. âwhy even have a phone number if no one fucking answers,â he grumbles to himself. he leans his head against his hands, letting out an exasperated sigh.
hyeok-jin thinks of the lunch with his lieutenant, trying to remember every word from that conversation. he doesnât think lieutenant baek meant any harm, but the conversation still bothered him. he thinks of something the lieutenant said at the end of their conversation. âmoney talks.â he doesnât have anything else to go off of, just hopes and dreams. his fingers tap against his desk, eyes landing on his computer.
he remembers something his professor said years ago âif you canât follow people, follow the money.â so he leans forward, clicking through different government sites. âif no one wants to talk to me or answer my questions, i guess iâll ask the numbers.â itâs his very last hunch, otherwise heâd be just like the past detectives that were handed this case. he canât give up this easily without checking every end of a clue, he promised your brother that heâd try his best.
chulâs morning started off extremely rough. he was already late for his class, one which he had a test for. mom screamed at him for no reason other than the fact that itâs officially been three months since you went missing. he doesnât blame her or argue back, he just wishes that she could see heâs also struggling just as much as she is. âiâm sorry mom,â he apologizes even though he has no reason to.
mom cries, âjust go to school, i want to be alone,â she sniffles. âokay, i love you,â he leaves before she can say anything else. he runs the fastest he can to his university, missing the first half of his class. he apologizes to the professor, earning a harsh scolding. âiâm so sorry, can i still do the exam please ?â âitâs your time, not mine,â she rolls her eyes, handing him a copy of the test and a scantron. he exhales in relief, sitting down at his seat. he takes a deep breath, putting his pencil to the paper.
grades are put into the system almost as soon as class ends. chul fails the test horribly. not barely, horribly. he got a 15 on it, the worst heâs ever done on anything. itâs so bad he even agrees to have lunch with his friends, anything to try and cheer himself up. but all his friends seem to ask him about is how his family is doing. before you debuted, he had commented to his friends that his little sister was going to be in a kpop group, a mistake he now realizes.
âweâre fine,â chul bites into his sandwich, one his friend had bought him a few minutes ago. âbro if you ever need our help, weâre here for you,â his friend with glasses says as the others nod. âhave you, you know, been online lately ?â his other friend with dyed hair asks, earning a shove from chulâs favorite gym bro. âi donât like reading any of that shit, just jobless nobodies saying shit about my sister,â chul shakes his head.
âthatâs good man, i seen a lot of shit a-and i donât think your sister was like that but like i donât know people be talking,â dyed hair rambles on. chul ignores him, not wanting to continue talking about you. âdo you think talking about her will do you some good ?â glasses asks in a softer tone. âif he doesnât want to talk about her then letâs not force him,â gym bro comes to chulâs defense. chul gives him a small smile before looking back at his sandwich.
quiet fills the table until dyed hair breaks it with a scoff. âiâm sorry but i have to talk about it, your momâs out there protesting that nothing is being done for your missing sister but you donât want to talk about it ? instead of defending her ? do you know what people are saying about her ? that she ran away, not to mention theyâre also saying she was the yoko ono of the group-â chul stands up, chair scraping against the floor.
âshut your fucking mouth.â chul warns his friend, the others shocked by his sudden demeanor. âjust because your girlfriend goes out and fucks a new guy every weekend doesnât mean my sister was like that. what do you want me to say huh ? oh i think my sister got kidnapped ! oh i think my sister might have been trafficked ! oh i think my sister might be dead ! itâs been three fucking months and i know nothing, sheâs all i think about !â chulâs voice breaks at the end.
âand from what it seems, you donât know anything about me, let alone my sister so the next time you say anything about her, iâll beat you to a pulp,â chul warned dyed hair before grabbing his backpack and leaving the cafeteria. no one calls out for him or chases to stop him, not that he was expecting that to begin with. he soon leaves campus, jittery and overwhelmed. chul can feel tears brim his eyes, vision becoming blurry.
as soon as heâs off school grounds, he dumps his backpack out. pencils, notebooks, folders, even his laptop falling onto concrete ground. he frantically reaches his hand into his bag, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. heâs hyperventilating at this point, on the brink of having a panic attack. fuck being sober, fuck anything and everything. he puts the cigarette between his lips, lighter shaking in his hand as he lights it.
the first drag burns his lungs, almost like the first time he smoked. in 10 seconds, his heart rate and breathing slow down. but even when chul releases the smoke from his mouth, the ache in his soul and tears in his eyes donât disappear, it only makes things worse. he thinks of you and how angry you would be at him right now. he reaches for his phone, trembling fingers scrolling through his contacts, pressing to call.
âmartin,â chulâs voice is wobbly as the younger boy answers the phone almost immediately. âhey whatâs wrong ?â martin asks, hearing quiet sniffling on the other hand. âi know that you might be busy but i really need to talk to you,â chul cries into the phone. âiâm on break, i have to go back soon but what happened ?â âtodayâs y/nâs three months since she went missing and everyoneâs just talking about her like sheâs gone forever and i donât know what to do anymore, i just fucking smoked after quitting for three years,â he sobs, cigarette burning between his fingers.
âand you of all people know y/n wouldnât have ran away,â he continues tethering between anger and heartbreak. when chul allows martin to talk, martin is silent to the point where chul think the call ended. âhello ?â âiâm sorry chul, iâŠi canât say much, iâŠâ chul doesnât know why martin is responding so weirdly. âwhat are you saying ?â âi-iâm saying that i donât know, everythingâs just soâŠconfusing- iâm sorry i have to go, i need to get back to practice,â martin cuts the conversation short.
âwhat ?â chul asks, softly hiccuping. âi put in the money for your momâs medication, iâm sorry i canât say anymore, bye,â before chul can respond, martin hangs up. chul looks down at his phone, âthanks anyway,â he mumbles to himself, tears running down his face. this isnât the boy you talked so positively about. this isnât the boy heâs known since martin was 12. chul canât recognize martin anymore, the real martin would have fought for you.
that night, hyeok-jin stares at the papers in front of him, heart thumping against his ribs. the numbers didnât add up. mixing or falsified tax records. training expenses that never existed or seemed exaggerated. payments to shell companies. contracts rewritten after signatures had been made. he was right, there was more than what meets the eyes, thereâs years of fraud. how has no one noticed this ? âŠdid they ever notice this ? his discovery is soon cut short when he hears running footsteps down the hall.
he snaps his head to the side, seeing multiple officers dashing. âdetective kang !â officer kim sprints into the room. âyou need to come with us right now,â she looks completely out of breath. âwhat happened, whatâs going on ?!â his stomach drops as he gets up from his seat. âone of the cortis membersâŠhe had an accident,â she struggles to catch her breath. hyeok-jinâs confused, what does that have to do with him ?
âi mean is he okay ? but iâm not a cop so why do i-â âthatâs not the reason why you have to come along,â she interrupts him. âwe found y/n.â hyeok-jin freezes, eyes widening, âfound ?â his friend nods. so many thoughts cross his mind yet he can only ask one question. âis she alive ?â his voice comes out quieter than intended. officer kim looks at him, her parted lips let out an exhale before pressing into a thin line.
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