the dragon remembers.

i be like “it is what it is” then be pissed off for like 4 years

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

carly rae jepsen's discography is so relatable. half of it is saying "im obsessed with you and want everything in the world to share with you right now" and the other half is like "oooh sorry was that a bit too much too fast for you??"

the feminine urge to write a love letter and sign it with a lipstick kiss mark