𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑲𝑬 .

“No.” Evan didn’t own the dungeons, and he certainly didn’t own the potions classroom. If he wanted to do some late-night studying, then he’d have to do it with company. Not that it should be particularly difficult - it wasn’t like she was particularly loud or anything. Besides, the sixth year never seemed to have any issues with ignoring her in the past.

rita didn’t dislike evan, in fact it was quite the opposite, she was team evan in a lot of ways despite how close she was to vince. but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to leave just because he entered a room. “i’ll just put a sign on the door next time, big letters saying ‘do not disturb’ and maybe it wont get kicked in by brooding, lanky slytherins who want a new place to cause chaos.” she joked lightly. dusting off what little root she scooped up from the table into the pot, she watched it pop and fizz, the same thing it had done last time, which had eventually melted through a textbook. crumpling up the paper she had been working on, rita dipped it into the potion and waited for it’s reaction. “i always knew you had a thing for authoritative father figures. hate to rain on your parade but there’s also evidence that kingsley shacklebolt and alastor moody also sang with the birds and the bees down here.”  her tone had remained unchanged from when she first spoke, not skipping a beat as she quipped back, the upturned corner of her lips the only thing giving away her bluff. “i was planning on leaving anyway, the room will be yours soon enough.”

  the first fifteen spells rita had tried to come up with hadn’t worked in even the slightest, at least not in the way she had intended for them to. which was why she was now sitting on the desk in the potions classroom, several crumpled up pieces of parchment strewn about the floor and a pile of crushed mandrake root in her hand. it was a stretch, but she had heard through the grapevine that people were marked and she wanted to be the first one to find out how to undo it. when the door flies open she jumps, knee bumping the cauldron and she quickly drops the items in her hand to reach out and keep it from spilling. rita only briefly catches the comment he makes as she’s settling the pot back onto its stand. “ew yourself, rosier. last i checked this wasn’t your room.”

“i’m not being a martyr evan, i’m taking responsibility, however foreign that might be to you.” if evan wanted to be blunt rabastan could meet him there. “and i won’t apologize for feeling the way i do, or at all. it shouldn’t be a crime to want good things for the people you care about. and i definitely won’t stand here and take that shit from you, or anyone else.” if he was trying to provoke rabastan to anger it was working. “i have no intention of doing any such thing. what marlene and i had is over, dead and buried so please try not to think i’d sink so low as to try and steal her away from you.” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i have quidditch to focus on right now, i can’t be dealing with this anymore, i’ve dealt with it enough. think what you want but i’m just gonna stay away from you both for a couple of weeks, not that it matters to you. life goes on evan, i’m not holding grudges, i don’t have the time or energy for that. i’ll see you around.”

the two of them had spent enough time together over the last year and then some to know the other well. this also meant she was sure evan knew that there was more to her story because there was always more, she never ran out of things to say. but with him she didn’t feel the need to keep talking, not anymore at least. before it used to be to fill the silence that would get left between them and gave her too much time to think about him when she didn’t want to. but now she just said her piece and was okay with this new silence. 

marlene smiled when he told her how he found out. it meant two things, a bunch of other people knew, which was just spectacular (sarcasm intended), but also because it fit so seamlessly into his personality. the sleepy smile fell from her eyes, but not her face. shrugging, she brought his hand closer to her, letting go so she could now observe the rings he adorned. “james was here for a little bit, he left before you came.” marlene explained. she was both glad and maybe hurt, she couldn’t exactly tell. it was nice that someone she always wanted to see could be here and it was just the two of them, judgement free, but she didn’t want to think that everyone else just simply didn’t care. leaning her head into the pillow, she traced a finger over the roses of one of the silver rings set on his hand, the flowers doleful yet with an air of something that was once beauty. marlene let them sit there in silence for a moment, just enjoying his presence as he slouched in the chair. looking up at him with what she was sure were puppy eyes, she asked, “you don’t have to go soon right?”

“ i doubt i need another defence against the dark arts class, ” he quips. wilted in the uncomfortable chair in the hospital wing, the change of scenery suits their relationship. at once, evan feels a sense of unease –– not so much wishing but wondering what it would be like if he could just be evan and marlene mckinnon. without the rosier, without the silver and green tie that sorts him into his allotted category. but then there’s the matter of the dark mark, the skull and snake permanently emblazoned on his forearm that calls him to his duty as a follower of the dark lord. the dark mark that marlene is still unaware of. he drags himself out of his introspection with a sigh, taking his hand back from her so he can twist each of his rings around their respective fingers once. 

he’s quiet, still for a few moments, his mind blank for blissful seconds until evan speaks and the words are like ice in rabastan’s veins. it wasn’t unexpected he supposed, in such a situation but he’d never push his friend away for — this. if anything it should bond them but bas was being naive and he shoved those thoughts away. “you have every right to think i would, but i’m making a conscious effort here. i don’t blame you. do i wish you had chosen anyone else? yeah i do, how could i not. but i don’t blame you because it’s marlene. i’ve never seen you care about anyone, you think i’d do anything to take this from you? you’re wrong there, mate.” he’d take out his anger and heartbreak on anyone but evan. “if marlene and i had had a good relationship, one without cracks, one without damage and doubt she’d never have been drawn away. if i have to blame anyone it’s myself.” and her but he’d never say that out loud. he was silent as real emotion leaked out of evan and he was glad to see it but it caused him pain too. why couldn’t it have been anyone but marlene? because she was the sun, and no one knew that better than rabastan did. “i know, i believe you.” he kept his hands to himself, balled into fists inside his pockets. “just — be happy, that’s all i want for you, and for her.”

SHE WANTS TO LAUGH at his comment, but instead exhaling a little more air than normal will have to suffice. “i am good at quidditch.” marlene defends just as quietly and gave his hand a light squeeze, “i’m even better when i’ve had more than two hours of sleep.” the only explanation she was going to give as to what happened was that. she didn’t want to tell him about everything else that had been zipping through her mind all night and tried lulling her to sleep while in the sky. besides, seeing evan here only eased her mind all that much more than her already venting to james. evan always brought her a kind of peace whenever he was around, but this time, especially after dorcas’ disappointment laden lecture, she could nearly cry again.  

marlene had to believe that she knew him better than most people, with the exception to maybe one or two, or she’d overthink herself sick. she had to know that there were moments shared between them that weren’t falsified or pretend, that the things people took offense to were evan just being evan, something she’d learn to brush off. the only side to him that dorcas believed existed wasn’t the one sitting here, holding her hand. and given the time of day, she couldn’t imagine that he had been up for very long, so curiously she asked, “how did you find out? the only people awake were gryffindor team and the owls.”

in all his stony silence, evan’s picked up methods of observation that really should be above his emotional skill level. he can read a person’s face almost as easily as he can read a book, and marlene’s emotions were amongst some of the easiest to pinpoint that he’s ever come across. maybe it was their connection ––– the connection that he seemingly could find no rhyme or reason to explain, or maybe it was just her. he can tell that she’s keeping parts of her story close to her chest, giving him the version that’s short and sweet. evan doesn’t prod, the same way she lets him keep quiet for most of the time that they spend together. 

evan changes the subject as easily as he breathes and it impacts bas like a bludger to the chest. it wasn’t like he didn’t know his best mate wouldn’t want to analyze their new dynamic, he didn’t expect evan to be someone he wasn’t but it cut bas deep to know the subject merited little consideration to evan when it had torn bas open. maybe he’d been TOO understanding, too empathetic for his own good. he gave and gave and gave and never got anything back, so what was this friendship built on? was this just blind loyalty, could he really say he knew evan better than most, or at all? or had he deluded himself into thinking that because evan tolerated him a bit more that they were truly friends? reconsidering every connection was not an enjoyable task for rabastan but everything was shifting now and he couldn’t leave any stone unturned.  “he said he told me so, in reference to marlene and i just — snapped.” he admitted but for once with little apology, vincent didn’t deserve it and evan wouldn’t care that bas had been violent. “hit lucius too, he said i’m a disgrace to our house, but his information was inaccurate at best. so i stunned him into unconsciousness.” he paused, saying too much, pushing evan to perhaps his limits. “i didn’t realize i was so angry.”

@evnrsiers·

MADAM POMFREY SAID she could easily fix marlene’s arm, she saw it, wrapped her up and made her drink some awful potion but told she’d be perfect in just over an hour or two. however marlene didn’t want just an hour or two, she wanted a break. she just wanted time to freeze for just a day so she could be alone with her thoughts and feelings and sleep and finally feel like she’s rested. all she had to do was look madam pomfrey in the eye and cry, lip quiver and all, and the nurse told her that she could leave once she felt ‘better’. 

marlene had finally convinced james that it was okay to leave her side, just long enough for her to actually try and sleep, something she craved desperately, especially after a cry as draining as the one she just had. sleep was almost her friend when life decided to bring her something nearly as calming, but the slightest bit more talkative. the sound of a body sitting in the chair next to her made her open her eyes that were heavy with lack of sleep, taking a second to register who it was. once it clicked, she sat up a little and reached out for one of his hands with her uninjured arm. giving him what should’ve been a smile, marlene spoke softly, “hi.”

evan had learned about marlene’s injury through the grapevine, collecting bits and pieces through heard conversations and the few brave souls who felt it necessary to come up to him and recount their own versions of the tale. evan only favoured hairpin reactions when it came to anger, so it wasn’t difficult for him to remain calm on his way to the hospital wing. he figured he wouldn’t have passed so many people talking about a pregnant kneazle on his way if marlene mckinnon, hogwarts’ sweetheart had died of a freak quidditch accident.

evan’s reaction is confusing but bas chooses not to over analyze it, for once. as close as he is to evan he still felt he knew so little about him. just days ago that realization would have stung bas to his core but today he feels almost apathetic, it is what it is. and maybe the reason he had so much issue with his own housemates was because he’d been barking up the wrong trees for his whole life. there was little warmth and almost no acceptance among the slytherins, among the purebloods he’d been running into at parties since he was a babe in arms. almost nothing linked most of them together, and even this something deeper with evan felt a bit more shallow than it used to. “what would be the point of  —- disapproval or anger though? i’d lose one or both of you and i don’t want that. can’t force yourself on someone who just doesn’t feel that way anymore because again what’s the point. i’m not about to intentionally cause harm to either one of you.” he paused, took a deep breath. “but i did punch vincent goyle in the face.”

he nodded, he’d felt the same way but he did love the crowd during quidditch. it was becoming difficult to ignore the similarities and differences between himself and evan. he laughed lightly, shaking his head. “i’d never. maybe other friends, but you? so generous.” he teased but barely, he was still in the muck of his  — well, was it even a break up? “marlene told me, about you and her and i think it’s good mate, for both of you. i mean, i support you both.” his words sounded stupid and apologetic in his head but what else could he say?

HE DOESN’T GIVE HER TIME to say anything, which was best for this situation anyway. his lips on hers caused the ever present butterflies to erupt into chaos, her heart practically screaming from her chest. every part of her protests that moment’s end, the feeling something that felt so much like actual gold she had to tell herself she was over exaggerating. once he’s pulled away, marlene allows herself to give him a small smile partnered with the smallest of giddy laughs kept quieted by her closed lips. she was too scared to speak, afraid that if she said something she’d ruin the moment, like he’d realize how little he actually liked her. instead, she brushes her thumb over his cheek, a habit she’s picked up when she’s appreciating his eyes, his smile, or his face in general. 

marlene keeps herself occupied, taking their free hands and intertwining them. it’s when shes looking at him now that she knew for a fact he was different, nearly scaring herself with how much she realized she’d do for this boy, her eyes and smile softening as they met his. people had said he wasn’t kind, or even nice for that matter, most of which marlene had already gathered for herself, but behind the things he said, all his actions had registered gently, something she hadn’t been expecting. rather than explaining, or trying to argue with him, evan gets a light squeeze of his hand from her, the words leaving her mouth soft with fondness, “i’m not going anywhere.”

when marlene touches his face, it’s as if evan becomes a different person. it’s almost exactly like being drunk –– though you’re acting differently than you might normally and you can’t exactly help that fact, there’s a tiny sober voice in the back of your brain that knows the idiotic acts you’re committing and is well aware of the price you’ll pay later on. it’s even more unfortunate that he likes the person she morphs him into, likes the feeling of blissful oblivion that is just simply being with her. it’s that feeling that’s urged him to so quickly develop the habit of holding her hands to his face so that she can’t take them away before he’s ready to be himself again.