D u d e ,

sometimes it was hard to know when it was okay to push and when she was better off just letting things go and accepting them for how they were.  in some ways,  they were polar opposites and this was one of them  ––  his tough and hardened exterior contrasted the heart that she bore proudly and painfully on her sleeve.  luck had smiled upon her favorably today.  that little fine that indicated that she had managed to win this time.

“thank you.”  a smile appeared and disappeared quickly as april stretched up to kiss him.  it’s chaste,  fitting the confession instead of their steamy rendezvous.  “and––  about time.  i’ve been wanting you to say that forever.  sometimes…  i doubt it,  you know?  that nagging little voice in my head.  people need to hear that.  i need to hear it.”

Alex  rolled  his  eyes  as  she  gave  a  smug  smirk  and  his  eyes  squinted  in  discontent.  Although he  couldn’t  help  but  smile. He  found  her  smugness  cute,  although  he  couldn’t  let  her  get  too  cocky.                

                  ❛you’re  freaking annoying  sometimes,❜    

A  small  smile  perked  at  the  end  of  his  lips  and  he  gave  a  slight head  shake.  A  small  chuckle followed,  and  he  leaned  in  to  press  a  small  kiss  against her  lips  in  order  to  HUSH  whatever comment  was  going  to  come  after  his.  

     For a moment she was nervous. had alex seriously just asked her out? instead of saying a word she instead found a shoulder lifting up in response, her eyes rolling at the smirk on his face. though she wasn’t really bothered by it. not even a little because for some reason everything about him was endearing, not  that she’d ever find herself admitting that out loud.  ❛ i could go for some dinner.. ❜   and  then she grinned at him, a dimpled one, a slight blush to her cheeks. NERVES coursed through her, she wasn’t good at this, relationships.  but if that’s what it came down to, she’d have to be. from what she’d heard, the man in front of her had been hurt e n o u g h. 

one twenty four in the morning,   it’s what time her clock read as she woke up that morning.   it was a nightmare,   vivid,   one that she’d had quite a few times before,   that drew her from an already hard to find sleep,   a cold sweat and thudding heartbeat to accompany.   a hot shower,   a change of clothes,   and an hour of trying to fall back to sleep later,   lexie was out the door at three fifteen,   nearly three hours before she needed to be.   she needed a distraction.   burying herself in charts,  in work she’d normally give a resident,   work that wasn’t a great distraction in the first place.   plus,   normally setting up shop at a nurses station for an extended time would be asking to piss off a nurse or two;   it’s not what’s on her mind as she sat there,   as she tried to focus on the information in front of her and not on the thought of mark sloan holding her hand while she was pinned under metal wreckage or of the words exchanged out in those woods.   words that she’d held onto in those days they’d been missing.

eyes jump from the chart in her hands to alex,   trailing thoughts pulled back to the present.   “  hey,  ”   soft spoken greeting was paired with a small smile,   one that was quick,   that didn’t meet her eyes.    “  i know—  ”   she needed to hear it,   more than she’d admit.   “  do you have time to grab coffee?  ” 

 Alex  could  see  the  pain  STRUCK in  her  eyes,  he  was  all  too  familiar  with  it.  It  had  been  less  than  24  hours  since  he  had  seen  her  smile, yet  he  was  still  craving it,  the  way  it  would  light  up  a  room.  He  tried  to  give  his  best  comforting  smile  but  wasn’t quite  sure  how  it  was  working  out.  His  hands  moved  off  her  shoulder and  fell  to  the  clipboard in  her  hands. Pulling  it  from  her  grasp  and  setting it  down  on  the  counter. Eyes  just  traced along  her  face  for  JUST  A  MOMENT. A  pit  grew  in  his  stomach,  seeing the  sleep  deprived lexie  in  front  of  him.  he  wasn’t sure  if  offering to  sleep  at  his  place  tonight  would  h e l p  or  h u r t,  but  he  figured he  would  wait  it  out  and  then  decide  whether to  ask.  

❛ for? ❜ the word had grown caught in her throat, fingers pressing gently to her sides. how the hell she hadn’t realized the way her heart beat so fast around him before was beyond her but as they stood so closely, amelia couldn’t help the pitter patter. they were one and the same when it came to f u c k e d up lives.  her baby, his foster families, things they’d never told anyone else.

his lips though a little dry were warm against hers and she couldn’t help but kiss him back with incredible force. oh god, arms found themselves wrapping against his neck and she hummed. ❛oh.. that. ❜

 Alex  had  gone  to  bed  feeling a  little  nauseous the  previous  night  unsure  of  what  was  to  come  tomorrow.    he  headed  to  work  with  a  pit  in  his  stomach  and  was  sure  he  wasn’t  the  ONLY  ONE.  it  had  been  this  very  day  years  ago  that  the  hospital  had  lost  one  of  their  own…  mark  sloan.    the  first  thing  he  set  his  mind  to  when  he  arrived was  finding  lexie. a  pair  of  eyes  caught his  ATTENTION  and  he  slowly started  to  make  his  way  over.    lexie and  him  had  a  past…  a  very  short  one…  but  that  was  childs play  to  what  relationships  M E A N T  for  him  now.  he  didn’t  want  to  screw  this  second chance  up  like  he  screws everything  else  up.  a  single hand  fell  on  the  side  of  her  shoulder  and  he  pressed his  lips  to  her  cheek  softly.  ❛ hey, ❜    ----        that  was  all  he  could  think  of  at  first,  unsure of  what  the  RIGHT  THING  was  to  say  in  this  situation… or  the  wrong  thing.  

 alex  couldn’t forget  THE FIRST TIME  he  saw  brooke davis  again  in  person.  she  was  as  beautiful  as  ever.  from that  moment  on  he  couldn’t stay  away  from  her.  he  had  been  up    to  visit  her  so  many  times,  he  wasn’t  quite  sure  what  even  felt  like  h o m e  anymore.  but  now  she  was  finally visiting  him  and  he  couldn’t have  asked  for  a  better week.  In  fact,  he  couldn’t remember  the  last  time  he  was  THIS HAPPY…  he  couldn’t let  it  end.  he  had  let  people slip  through  his  fingers  before and  he  was  going  to  do  everything in  his  power  to  make  sure  that  didn’t  happen once  more.   

 ❛        move to  seattle.        ❜        ----   he couldn’t  control  his  words.  it  was  something had  been  thinking of  since  they  day  she  arrived.  

   ❛    meredith’s  going  to  kill  me  for  this.    ❜    ----  BUT  FUCK  IT.    alex had  always  felt  an  indescribable connection  with  the  young  neuro-surgeon.  their  life  journey  through struggles  and  pain  made  alex  feel  at  p  e  a  c  e  when  talking  to  amelia  about  certain  aspects of  his  life.  some  of  which  he  had  never  told  anyone else  about.