eve

total strangers: she’s a gold-digger.

amber heard: *gets restraining order for domestic abuse*

total strangers: she’s lying to get her money.

amber heard: *releases detailed testimony of johnny’s history of abuse*

total strangers: there’s always two sides to the story. let’s wait for the facts.

amber heard: *releases photos of battered and bruised face*

total strangers: could be makeup. let’s wait for the facts.

amber heard: *is photographed hysterically crying in a car after court*

total strangers: so what? anyone can cry, and she’s an actress. let’s wait for the facts.

amber heard: *is photographed laughing with a friend*

total strangers: is that laughter?! this one picture PROVES she’s lying!

johnny’s bodyguards: we were there and he didn’t do it. he doesn’t pay us or anything we swear.

total strangers: you can’t argue with eye-witnesses!

amber’s friend and neighbor: we witnessed the whole thing, called the police, and comforted her afterwords, and have also witnessed this happening for several years.

total strangers: they could be lying! they’re her friends and they’re biased. let’s wait for the facts.

johnny’s friends: he seems pretty nice i don’t think he would do that

total strangers: his friends know him best!

two of johnny’s exes: he was nice to us for a few months thirty years ago

total strangers: busted! this proves he is innocent!

two of johnny’s other exes: *have said in the past he was violent*

total strangers: that was a long time ago and doesn’t prove anything! let’s wait for the facts.

johnny depp: *was literally arrested for beating up a photographer and again for trashing a hotel room*

total strangers: that was so long ago, and everyone now says he’s not violent anymore!

johnny depp: *releases one paragraph statement saying he didn’t do it and isn’t going to talk about it*

total strangers: see?! he didn’t do it, he even said so!

johnny depp: *literally immediately leaves the fucking country*

total strangers: he’s doing charity stuff! what a nice, innocent man.

amber heard: *releases lengthy and detailed statement about johnny’s abuse*

total strangers: its her word against his. let’s wait for the facts.

amber heard: *releases more pictures of bruised face from past incidents with a busted lip*

total strangers: those could be photoshopped. let’s wait for the facts.

police: we didn’t respond to any phone call

total strangers: so she was lying about her friend calling the police!

police: actually we did get one call and sent two cops out, but they didn’t find any evidence

total strangers: boom! you can’t argue with that, they’re the police!

police: actually we take that back, we got two different calls and sent out two police officers twice. but we didn’t see anything

total strangers: police still can’t lie

amber heard: uh actually they definitely did see my bruises?

total strangers: stop lying amber

amber heard: *releases texts with johnny’s assistant where assistant apologizes on johnny’s behalf for his violence, across several incidents going back years before they were even married, and apologizing for johnny kicking her*

total strangers: these could easily be faked. lets wait for the facts.

amber heard: I LITERALLY HAVE A FUCKING VIDEO

total strangers: why haven’t you released this incredibly private and emotionally triggering video of you being physically abused for the entire world to watch in the comfort of their own homes? innocent until proven guilty! we need more facts.

johnny depp: *crickets*

Do I think thats ever going to happen? No. Unfortunately. But it's a nice idea.

A ridiculously long debate followed ! For the record I’m 1m63, a very average height, and the bottom half of the window doesn’t open so it’s not like placing it low is dangerous for kids or anything. But both the carpenter and his assistant are quite a lot taller than me and they were weirdly offended by my choice of window height (and let’s not pretend it has nothing to do with the fact that they are men and most tall people are men) so they started negotiating like “if we place it a bit higher you can still see the pasture and taller people won’t have this middle part of the frame blocking our view, it’s a good compromise.” I’m like, but it’s my house. They said sure but we can find a height that works for everyone. I said, not really—the position that you think is too low is the highest you can place it without me having to go on tiptoes to have a nice view. “Take a few steps back—from this spot in the room you can see better” well then tall people can take a few steps back and sit in a nice chair to enjoy the view from my low window. When they insisted that this window placement with the glazing bar at eye level just wasn’t comfortable for people their height I said “But I don’t care about people your height” and they looked shocked.

The ninth best-selling writer of all times, all categories confounded including romance novels, children albums, Shakespearian plays and poetry, and even manga.

(Those are low-balling numbers. She might actually be fourth or fifth, depending on the actual sales of other successful writers. But ninth is the minimum.)

The third best-selling author to meet overwhelmingly positive reception both from the public and critics, to the point where her books are taught in school. Only Shakespeare and Agatha Christie have done better.

THE best-selling and most read author is her lifetime, save perhaps for Christie.

Not only that, but she managed all of this in only 22 books. For comparaison, prolific romance novel author Barbara Cartland with comparable sales number estimates wrote 723 novels. Child author Enid Blyton, best known for Noddy and The Famous Five, wrote 800. Agatha Christie wrote four times this amount of Whodunits. Shakespeare twice as many plays and poetry volumes.

And that's not all of it! Not only has Rowling sold that many books, not only is her work critically acclaimed and studied as a defining element of the canon of British and western literature; she is the ONLY writer in the top ten sellers to have written and met success in no less than three literary genres. Children's fiction, adult fiction, crime novels. Most of the hyper successful writers in the top ten are prolific writers of genre fiction who repeat their own formulas over and over, but Rowling actively challenges herself and continues to win readers over.