A series of donation messages to Peeve
Earlier tonight I was watching my favorite Twitch streamer. His name is Peeve Peeverson. He has this feature where if you donate, you get to attach a message and he'll read it on stream. I made a series of $2 donations and attached the following messages: Hey Peeve. My mom won't let me watch your stream. She said "I don't trust that Peeverson fellow, he sounds like a man with a lot of secrets." She took my laptop and my phone so I'm hiding in the closet watching you on my calculator. I can't see you or hear you but it's still comforting. BTW I hope you get this message, I had to type it out in 1s and 0s. So I found a nickel in the closet and put it into my calculator's coin slot, which seemed to unlock the audio portion of your stream. And it's also saying to insert a quarter to unlock the video feed. I actually do see a quarter in here but it's placed beneath a bear trap. I dunno who designed this closet but I'd like a word with them. So I managed to disarm the bear trap but it turns out the quarter underneath was fake. And when I picked it up, it revealed another coin slot in the floor that read, "to receive a quarter, please insert 50 cents." So now I need 50 cents to get a quarter to insert into my calculator to unlock the video of your stream. Please help me. So I found a found a note on the wall that read "to receive 50 cents, you must first solve two riddles. Each riddle costs 25 cents to play." ...I don't have 25 fucking cents. If I did I'd have already put it into my calculator. I just want to unlock the fucking video of your stream but I feel like somewhere someone is watching me and laughing at me. Fuck this, I'm gonna go try the other closet upstairs and see if I have better luck. It turns out trying this second closet was a big mistake. First of all, when I entered the closet the calculator read "invalid access area, please insert two thirds of one quarter to reinitiate." Secondly, after entering, a series of ropes and levers slammed the closet door shut, locking me in. Finally, a radio started playing the intro from A-ha's "Take On Me" on loop, except it would only play the first 3 measures instead of the full four, thus interrupting the phrase and never letting the melody resolve. This is fucking torture. If your calculator ever asks you to insert a quarter for any reason, I suggest you carefully put the calculator away. It's a trap.
