Auto-correct Abound

i dont have a sword dude that thing was never programmed in with me just got the open hole in my chest and also my wings sort of prevent that from being a thing i cant fasten shit there without doing some wing piercing shit and that aint fun

i suppose it depends what kind of work youre doing when employed

theres no one to fire the principle and the one teacher we have are just as stuck as the rest of us i think theres been a fatal mistranslation somewhere i am a game construct and the game of which i am constructed into takes place in the school i am now trapped in

I.

Hm.

I.

Hm. hm.

...

well i dont know where the heck id get a bag of holding but i could definitely manage a belt of some sort maybe i dunno its not like i have much of a waist or any kind of hips but maybe i could get something to stay or maybe just staple the pockets to myself idk

i am working it damn hard no one works as hard as i do except for like people who are actually employed for a living

okay good yes this is important

no no i cannot do any of those things im pretty damn stuck in this school aint no graduation happening here dude we dont even get to go home at the end of the day because the day never ends its just one long endless stream its not like we have lessons or anything

no theyre just rendered with really shitty graphic software

Just fasten it above your sword - i guess it’s more of an emperor’s belt when it’s up near the nipnops but you get my drift. but do not staple yourself that is a bad idea i know from experience! it hurts like a bugger. i mean, maybe less than dying and stuff but it hurts. hurts more to pull them out, accidentally or intentionally. 

and even then you’re beating out a few of those employed. 

dude we have already established i am a sprite thereby i clearly dont have pants or any sort of pockets to put my shit in why you gotta rub my pocketlessness into my face thats just insensitive i think i actually shed a tear

youre damn right i am no other birdman could claim to be as independant as me im like elle from legally blonde i dont need no man or woman or nongender specific person ive got my own life and identity 

i know a couple folks who are very specific about what names they like to hear like theres one guy on my dash who shares my face but if you call him by my name his owner will track you down and strangle you or something itd be super messy best just always ask first and never assume

im fine i guess i mean im trapped in a shittily programmed school with the barest damn classrooms you could ever imagine but ah well as is life 

you need to get yourself a belt, and just. staple pockets to it. or a purse. staple a purse to a rad belt. flawless. oh! a bag of holding! you could fit a translator in there no prob then. (or you could just capchalog them but thats another thing entirely)

you show your non-believing male counterpart that you can be more than he thinks. you got this. you got this and you’re working it.

okay.i’ll do research next time instead of just greeting a familiar face. 

aw man, school? you’re stuck at school? can’t you just karate chop your way out with a badass backflip and a badass finger flip? or are you like, serious about graduation or something? 

no i said i know some people whod flip their wigs at no point in time did i say i was wearing a wig keep up dude i know i tend to spew a lot but its not like i use a bizarre vocabulary or anything you dont need a translator to keep up with me do you do i need to get a translator we probably have one kicking around the school somewhere

no weve never met youve probably met a davesprite or a dave somewhere along the lines but i am not they i am my own independent birdman and i demand recognition for my unique individuality

my name is indeed davesprite or ds or dave i dont actually give a hoot whatcha wanna call me that was more of an expansive comment like not all people who are dave and are also sprites like to be addressed as davesprite some of them have very particular names and you gotta respect that

hehe. oh my god dave. no, i don’t need a translator. keep that in whatever metaphorical or physical pocket you find convenient. 

yes you are dave, you are the most independent of birdmen. i’m super proud of you for staking your own claim and whatnot. this is your recognition, savour it, it is the sweetest of pies. 

yeah fair enough. people usually correct me if i assume wrong but i suppose that could be dangerous since i’m not actually here to hurt people, just have a fun time. sorry for the less than elegant introduction,i suppose. 

so that’s what being sucked into a black hole feels like. 4/10, would not recommend. being spaghetti sucked. 

haha you’re funny friend.