Seungho slaps Nakyum’s hand away because he’s hurt that Nakyum would go out without him or his permission, that he might leave him. And for a brief moment, Seungho actually SULKS like a little boy before Nakyum assures him that he’s waiting for him.
He is so angry, sad, disappointed and insecure but when Nakyum tells him that he’s been waiting for him the whole time, to GO BACK WITH HIM, IT MELTS SEUNGHO’S HEART.
The first kiss is a reward to Nakyum for waiting for him and not leaving him but also an expression of Seungho’s desperate longing and adoration for him. It’s his first confession before he even manages to find the words to tell Nakyum what he feels for him.
Men like Seungho, in his position and with his tragic past, are not used to reveal their real feelings to anyone because they make them vulnerable but here is Seungho, offering his heart on a silver platter to Nakyum, he trusts him enough to reveal them to him and that he wouldn’t hurt him. Seungho doesn’t hide anything from Nakyum now, be it his thoughts or the emotions in his eyes he only dared to show when Nakyum couldn’t see them. Seungho has always longed for Nakyum’s love and now, he has reached the end of his rope. He throws away his pride and confesses everything to Nakyum - so brutally honest and vulnerable.
Seungho might have taken Nakyum the first time under pretense but it backfired on him because he ended up hurting himself in the process. It’s a cross he’s been bearing the whole time, suffering that Nakyum wouldn’t love him no matter how much he tried.
What has been holding Seungho back the whole time wasn’t merely his pride or denial, but also the fact that he felt unwanted and unloved. Those early violent encounters were him punishing Nakyum for giving him his hate when Seungho wanted his love, love Nakyum gave to someone else.
Seungho literally admits that he wants to be loved! It’s possibly the only thing he ever wanted but could never have which makes the fact that he believes that Nakyum, whose love he desires and is constantly out of his reach,is in love with Inhun and not him even more heartbreaking. It’s no wonder he had given up on love and even himself a long time ago because what is life without love? But then Nakyum entered his life and now he suddenly wants love again, making his once-numb heart feel again.
It’s unreal how Nakyum’s and Seungho’s emotions literally reflect each other. You can see the same feelings echoed in their eyes and expressions.
Seungho is mirroring their first kiss, a kiss that didn’t belong to him, and rewriting it. But this time, it’s him who is looking up to Nakyum and reaching up to him, kissing him in the same innocent way, full of vulnerability and hope…
Compared to their first kiss, this is a complete role reversal.Seungho is the one begging for love and acceptance. He isn’t demanding, but asking,there is no lie or illusion anymore. So when Nakyum kisses him back,he is accepting him, fully knowing that it’s Seungho who he wants.
Nakyum doesn’t expect such a sweet and featherlight kiss from Seungho. It stuns and flusters him because until now, he only dared to dream about such tenderness from Seungho. He felt hints and traces of it during their time together but it has never been so palpable.
Seungho’s gaze is both pleading and searching, expressing a myriad of emotions: “Once, I mocked you for loving someone who didn’t want you one-sidedly, yet here I am now, doing the exact same thing. Being in love with you like a fool and asking for your love. You know me, you’ve seen the worst of me, I’m sick and look a fright. But this kiss belongs only to you. Will you kiss me back? Will you accept me? Do you want me, tormented soul and all?“
Seungho’s words turn Nakyum’s world upside down. He’s been villified and marginalized his whole life. He’s always thought that Seungho only saw him as a body to fuck and a lowborn. But now, the noble lord is prostrating himself in front of him, admitting he desires Nakyum’s love. Once Seungho starts opening up, it’s as if a dam broke, all the emotions and thoughts he’s been hiding and bottling up keep pouring out. It’s like his heart has been overflowing with feelings for Nakyum and now he is almost desperate to finally let them out.
With his confession and tenderness, Seungho gives Nakyum something he’s never received before: the feeling that he is needed, wanted and cherished; that his affection is regarded as something precious and priceless. It’s empowering Nakyum, giving him sense of worth and confidence.
No man is an island, everyone needs to receive appreciation from other people in some form and to certain degree: be it from family, friends, lovers or the work one does. In modern society, there are many alternatives, but Nakyum doesn’t have those. As a lowborn orphan with nothing to his name who grew in a courtesan house, likes men and paints erotic art, he lacks all those things. He is marginalized and dicriminated against in every aspect of his life which has been filled with deprivation. He’s never been appreciated in his whole life until he met Seungho who first fell in love with his painting and later with him and what’s more, now he is finally starting to show and express that love with words and open tenderness. This is something Nakyum has been waiting his whole life for.
Nakyum on top and Seungho reverently looking up to him is an ongoing motif of S2. It shows the real power dynamic of their relationship. Even though SH is physically stronger and more powerful, it’s NK who holds all the power because he holds SH’s heart in the palm of his hand.
The moment Nakyum kisses him back, he surrenders, giving himself completely and willingly to Seungho. Not because he is numb, horny or sees himself as a whore, but because he wants this for himself. He can’t resists Seungho’s tenderness and honesty. It reaches and touches some place deep inside of him, a need to be treasured and adored, so when Seungho tells him that he made a wreck of him, the same words Nakyum knows are meant as a love confession, it makes him reach his climax. Seungho’s words are Nakyum’s own personal aphrodisiac. Seungho whispering sweet nothings and desperate love confessions and Nakyum cumming because of them is something I didn’t know I needed.
Despite their different personalities and social status, deep down Nakyum and Seungho are the same - two love-starved people desperate to be loved. Together, they make each other whole.
Seungho is so needy and desperate for Nakyum that from the moment he wakes up he barely lets go of his hand, holding it tight as if he were afraid that Nakyum might disappear any moment, as if he wanted to bind his little lover to him forever.
The sight of their intertwined fingers, so intimate, tells everything Nakyum and Seungho feels - about the desperate, mutual need to be connected in every way possible.
Nakyum finally receives from Seungho almost all the things he ever wanted from him - his gentleness, honesty, afffection,… Seungho becomes the lover he was supposed to be from the start - THE LOVER NAKYUM WANTS AND NEEDS.
