كـاستيل;

Steve literally crashed a plane into a glacier over the Tesseract. He lost his best friend and the opportunity to be with the love of his life over the Tesseract. Of course he’s pissed off and unwilling to help when Fury comes to bother him about the fucking Tesseract.  

This is the same fight he fought in during WWII. It’s the fight they told him he won when they defrosted him. Of course he’s mad. Probably betrayed and frustrated, too.  

And then Fury interrupts Steve’s PTSD flashback at the gym to tell him S.H.I.E.L.D. found the Tesseract and promptly lost it to yet another villain bent on world destruction, and Steve is all Jesus F. Christ, I JUST did this!

And then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, Steve discovers that S.H.I.E.L.D. was using the Tesseract to build HYDRA weapons of mass destruction (because S.H.I.E.L.D. is HYDRA, shhh!).

It hasn’t been two weeks since Steve saw whole army battalions vaporised and smashed a plane into the Arctic Ocean to prevent the exact same weapons of mass destruction from reaching New York! And here they are again! In New York, in the hands of his supposed “allies,” who lied to him about their purpose for wanting the Tesseract back!

Steve doesn’t like bullies, he doesn’t care where they’re from. In The Avengers, he realises he’s working for the new bullies and doesn’t have a choice if he wants to save humanity. 

So yeah, Steve is pissed. He f–ing hates that f–ing Tesseract, and he’s 100000% done with it and with S.H.I.E.L.D. making all the same mistakes again. 

Not only has he had no time to process anything that’s happened, then everyone around him treats him only as Captain America, not one of them even considers that actually he’s just Steve, a guy who’s been through a ton of trauma and needs a break. No one thinks to stop and say, “hey buddy, you holding up okay?” and we all know Steve would never admit how distressed he is but sometimes just having someone ask can help tremendously. But they don’t think to do that, they’re too busy seeing the legendary super soldier, and whatever they’ve built him up to be in their minds.

And then there’s the fish out of water aspect. He’s lost seventy years and had two weeks to catch up. Two weeks that have probably been spent just trying to accept the fact that this is reality and not a horrible nightmare. But it is real and he has to very quickly adjust to absolutely everything, something that (again) almost no one seems interested in helping him with. The only exception I can think is when Coulson makes the Stephen Hawking remark, but other than that no one takes the time to explain things to him. He’s just sort of expected to follow along without any information. People keep making references to modern pop culture and other things that didn’t exist when he was last active. For a lot of the movie, Steve (who we know already has issues with self-esteem and fearing he’s not good enough) is stuck in that awful feeling when everyone gets the joke but you. Only the joke is basically everything in the world. People complain about “I understood that reference” but when you remember it’s probably the only reference he’s gotten since waking up, it makes a lot of sense. (I firmly believe that’s precisely why Nick said it)

The only person who can even remotely understand that feeling is Thor, the other “fish out of water”. But there’s a huge difference, because Thor can go home. And that’s the worst thing about Steve’s situation. His home is gone, he’s lost it, and no matter what he does, he can’t get it back. He can never go home. At this point, he doesn’t even know what home is anymore.

And everyone was like

Bucky Barnes.

And Seb was like

Who the hell is Bucky?

And the casting people were like

Cas Appreciation Week - Day 1

On the other hand, he’s apprehensive and sick because here comes the conversation he dreads every time.  It’s not a spiel he has to give very often at least, just a handful of times in the last decade, but it’s always shitty and nerve-wracking.  Lisa understood, as much as Dean ever expected anyone to.  Cassie did not.  Only a few others ever had to hear it because no one expects an unattached drifter to, well, get attached.

But there it is.  "I love you, Dean.“  

He loves Cas back, that much he knows.  It’s not like he isn’t capable of love–he loved his parents and he loves Sammy and he really honestly does love pie and beer.  The way he loves Cas might be different than all those, but hell if he knows for sure.  

He kind of freezes, ready to tell Cas that yes, he loves him back, yes, he’s happy.  But the words don’t come.  Instead what falls out is a sort of stew of thoughts condensed into one barely coherent sentence.

“But I can’t… I won’t hold your hand or… or cuddle and stuff–I’m not just a jerk or, or broken–but it’s not what I do…”

He just trails off, his mouth opening and closing around words that aren’t there.  This is the part where they get mad.  Sometimes he gets called a player and more than once a sleazebag.  Usually he just gets an eyeroll and the phonecalls don’t come so frequently after that.

Despite the rambling gibberish Dean gave as a response, Cas at least looks like he understands what Dean’s getting at.  Now Dean’s just waiting for the exasperated sigh or worse yet, the dejected sideways head tilt, but neither comes.  As always, Cas is a fucking moai statue, unreadable and piercing.

He clears his throat and tries again.  "I love you, too, Cas, I do.  I just… don’t know what you’re expecting, because you might not get it.  I’m not really down with the whole goopy romance-y stuff.“  

“Aromantic” is the term Sam would use.  He would print out wikipedia articles and explain that it’s a valid orientation and read up on the difference between sexual and romantic identity and Dean so does not want to deal with any of that shit.

The angel’s expression is impenetrable.  He’s just standing there expectantly, like he’s waiting for Dean to translate into his native language.

Frustration rising, Dean stammers out the simplest explanation he can think of.  "People want to be loved a certain way, and I can’t do that.“

had to do the thing………..