Ten
It’s a new month. And I don’t have much more time here. Not too long ago, I felt as though it would never end. I felt as though I would get myself stuck in whatever hole I had crawled into. And I don’t mean that derogatorily, it just happened.Â
I’ve got this discomfort in my chest tonight. I’m very aware of my ribs tonight, and they feel cold. This shouldn’t be metaphoric, I just need to describe to you sensation. I just need to describe to you the way it feels to have a rib cage. Maybe you don’t know. Maybe these ink stains on the bed sheets will come out in the wash, and these hundred dollar bed sheets won’t be wrecked by a bad habit of drawing in bed. And this too, no metaphor. Krishna says he has no desire for victory, but I’m not sure if it was Krishna who said that.Â
The avocado tree grows and inch every day and I hope that one day, it will grow me an avocado, which I will pluck, and eat by slicing it in half and scraping out its soft innards with a spoon. And I will savor every bit that was grown on my side table by my bedroom window.Â
I remember once, I crept across the bedroom floor and laughed when I realized I was naked and the blinds were open. He laughed and said they’d have to be looking hard to catch a glimpse. And I said, why wouldn’t you? I always look in house windows when I pass to see what is on tv. In San Francisco, I made up a story about the man across the street going on a date to meet his lover, and when we got back that evening, he was walking past his window, naked, to his lover. But we left for further south the next day, so I couldn’t look in to see what he watched on tv.Â












