>:)

everyone get coniferous

Vodka & benadryl got me feeling like a oyster

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

they are replacing penis and vagina with 2 new species of terrible awful birds

when your uncle gets the christmas pudding to a sustainable boil and it smells like straight up skeletons

how the fuck is this #solarpunk

the pudding contains a biological element

"if men could get pregnant-" they can. "if men got periods-" they do. "men never experience-" they do. "men would never understand-" i promise you whatever you are about to say there are men who go through the exact same thing

humans can't see in the dark because theres no "c" in "the dark"

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

deriding things as performative is anti third space

im sitting on a patio at my favorite cafe rn and im hand stitching them hem of a dress im working on. and i can see why someone would say im being performative by working on something like this in a public space. but frankly theres no element of that. i just want to work somewhere that isnt my apartment. i want to be in public, i wanna chat with strangers, i wanna see the world. it’s nice to hang out somewhere that isnt my home!

what i mean is when you say people are being performative you discourage them from doing shit they love in public. and thats no way to foster the world we want to see.

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

Im not compatible with a single person on the entire planet

not El rebloging, when she is compatible w me😩

You know what, you're right *kisses you*

come here my love *spins you around*

why is there an upgrade button on gmail. why does twitter want me to scan my palm to get into my account. why is google a chatbot. why does the transit app make a transit app wrapped for me. why does youtube keep shoving its infinitely scrollable shortform content down my throat. why do my doctor and psychiatrist and therapist want to use an ai notetaker during our appointments. why do free trials want my credit card number. why are most scholarship websites just data brokers. how do i make capitalone stop sending me mail. why is my school making its own special chat gpt powered chatbot. why is every third video on instagram an undisclosed ad. why is nothing online real anymore. why is everything so FUCKING STUPID