The Perfect Imperfection

Ex, Sun of Molamola; Happy Summer Solstice!

Mediums: Pentalic Paper for Pens, 1.0mm ballpoint (black), rendered in CLIP studio paint.

I'd never forget one of my tri-annual pantheon illustrations. And yes, I know I never post, and am an internet lurker.

Generally, like in my Trix Moon post during winter solstice, I mentioned I will seldom post online any more. Though, I still do a lot of IRL art, and take commissions. I am a concept artist and illustrator, after all. It's to the point my traditional works are better then my digital art, but they're harder to scan and correct.

The primary reason is poor health and AI. I will not feed a machine just to get exposure, nor be accused of generative AI. I spent a month making this work, while being practically blind, and my hands not working properly. I can think of no greater insult and ableist thought then people question if my art is real. I've spent years on the craft, and try desperately to have it bring me joy again.

I'm am so sad to regularly see what has happened to the online art community, on which I have been a apart of since I was 13.

Lastly, though my health deteriorates, I'm seldom online anyway: I have other hobbies with rocks, volunteering despite my limitations, writing, and treatment. I'm honestly too tiered to spend life in front of a screen.

Cheers!

Was supposed to post on actual solstice on Dec 22nd, but I was on the road! Just like Akar, I carry one the winter/summer solstice pictures!

AS mentioned earlier, I'm not posting art online regularly due to illness and to take a stance against AI. Drawing is now physically difficult, and I don't want to be accused of AI. I mostly do art in person for live clients and portfolios.

Xmas Art Annual Post! over ten years running... It was supposed to be posted Dec 1st, but I've been aggressively busy. This work was comprised of 5 traditional inks in bic pen on post-consumer paper. It was then digitized, coloured, rendered, filtered, and completed. In total, due to my struggles, it took three weeks. ouch. I used to be able to complete a work of art every two days. My art has ceased improving, and it deeply saddens me that something i love so much, is now so out of reach.

Akar with his eight children; Or eight reindeer if you will. Light colours are chosen depending on their element.

From Left to Right: The Twins, M'kl (Strontium, tailor, monarch) and Jaaspel (Barium, ore mining). Shelby (Iridium, retired monarch, currently a monk.) Paantheerin (Platinium, Hunter.) Akar himself! (Gold, god of luck & wealth.) Etherial (Star, daughter with Agordia goddess of war.) Ja'nor (Amber, the eldest and humanitarian aid captain.) Sar'ha (Phosphorus, Orchard & canning company.) Lookee (Quartz, God of love and compassion.)

Pardon the tags, they're for me...

Ex, The Sun of Molamola. This years Summer Solstice picture! Maybe next year I'll return to the robes and orange; There si a story reason why he looks like this, I promise!

At Otafest, i saw a lot of artists do wonderful art with amazing colours and backgrounds. It's so dreamy, like in my head; But my art can't do that.

To create like those that inspire me, is to al;so give up what i love about my style. I can't maintain my graffiti, comic book, fantasy, anime inspired style, and make it flow and soft-paint, like my inspirations.

Then again, if I were to draw like that, I would be accused of being a machine. This is why I like to look at the person commissioning my art. This is why I no longer post it online.

I tried my best to put a background, but my characters will enviably get lost whenever I do.

Trix, the moon of Molamola, for Winter Solstice 2024. off by 24 hours, because It was quite chaotic yesterday.

I Love the summer solstice because I like the sun and warmth; but it is a harbinger day symbolizing good times will soon end. However, the Winter solstice is an omen of longer days to come. It is a time of wishes and rest. Indigo like winter and midnight, and hues of lavender and white for the stars; and on rare occasions, a hauntingly crisp moon.

In Molamola, Trix walks the longitudes of the world, turning the plant, and bringing day and night. Her thankless isolating job, regulates the ebbs and flows of nature; Climate, tide, and sleep. Her music begets sleep, and melody shapes dreams. A belt of sterling silver, holds a lute, flute, or zither; With two daggers. Beneath her star woven cloak, she may wander in silence; Her voice unknown to waking mortals. But she will always beam as the ethereal midnight lamp.

On the longest night, Trix has time to pause and visit anyone she walks. If she senses the blown out candle of a prayer, she will visit that lucky soul as they drift off; And grant their wishes regarding sleep and dreams for the next year.

I tried some new stuff for this picture (like I do each year) and it looked better in my head. Can paint holographic fabric; will travel.

It Xmas season Akar! going on over 10 years, here is the tradition that started with this blog.

I never post, but if I do, it's one of the 3 annual deity pictures.

Top is original Christmas render, bottom is simple winter blue.

It's the annual Summer Solstice Ex illlustration!

To be honest, I've been pretty sick. I did a six month sketch challenge, but am yet to post. I want to do more art, but I'm still too tiered.

These day's a do a lot of volunteering. I've let a lot of my online accounts die. I spend a lot of time taking care of my chronic illnesses.

It's fair to say, there isn't much left of me for my hobbies, at the end of each day.

A few times each year i always make sure to do a digital render of my writing Deity's for this blog. Some pieces of the old me i want back, is on this blog.

The annual xmas Akar, on Dec 1!

Annual Summer Solstice illustration of Ex

Made this a while ago. I’m so tired these days, it honestly took a week of chipping away to actually finish.

This years depiction of the OG sun of Molamola, is completely digital (aside from the line art). Layers of filters, gradients, textures, rendering, opacity manipulation, and masks; It was both shorter then a full digital, but longer then just pulling out my old-fassioned Tombow markers. I really wanted to feel like I made a peice of art, given how little I draw.

Burn out or poor health, maybe both, my art progression and completion is less then I’d like this year. It’s hard to physically hold a pen even.

I guess I want to say, that even we haven’t drawn in six-months, or maybe over a year, We can still pick up that pencil again.

concept for geo monk. nothing else.

Back from Hiatus, hopefully. Writing four fully illustrated books over two years legitimately burned me out faster then university; When combined with my chronic conditions worsening.

It’s hard to draw with shaking hands, and hard to read and write without attention span. It’s hard to do sports with so many symptoms, and many of my hobbies and joys are out of reach because of that.

Delayed treatment, has fundamentally effected my entire life. But a six-month hiatus, without notice, has effected me in ways I didn’t suspect: Existential dread, letting down people who follow me, even though no one knows I exist. I have gone from creator to lurker. Yet another thing my life dares to take from me.

Trix for the Winter solstice! Again!

Having the holidays and my health destroyed me, I have stopped writing and struggle to do art. This one, like Akar, is of a part of a project that refuses to be completed.

For Trix, the moon, I chose the aesthetic of cyber punk. mostly tied in the grit, layered costumes, blockey designs, and blue/pink neons.

It’s December!

Ring those jungle bells, because it’s Akar with Xmas lights once more!

Akar’s chosen theme for my latest art-challenge project thingy, was ‘bougee’, and this rendition is a gentrification of that original picture.

Deven, Zin sa Siv’l (Exselist deity of culture and virtue)

It’s been a while since I drew this cheerful modest fellow. Though I love drawing bronze/gold, and textured backgrounds, this one killed me.

I loathed making this so much, I decided to nothing to it aside from colour correction: Every irritating mistake on screen.

It looks better in real life, and after I used gold paint pen, but still.

I work with: Ballpoint pens, markers, acrylic, crayons, graphite, gel-pen, paint-pen, watercolour, origami paper, tissue-paper, recycled papers, pen paper, canvas, plywood, tin-foil, machine & hand sewing, crochet, embroidery, beads, jewelry, wire, gimp, crystal setting, clay, glaze, oven-clay, lacquer, construction supplies, computer parts, adhesives, digital, ect. I LOVE MIXED MEDIA.

But, if I ever have to use acrylic gauche ever again, so help me. I wouldn’t wish that medium on my enemies. It’s as awful as oil paint. My twin can do it, but I’m drawing a line.

colour concepts for the monster form of a witch (top left). Design influenced by researching Hindu deity's.