Let Me Be

A touch I've forgotten

Brushing against my skin

Diving deep into my crevices

Tearing at my rib cage

Organs spilled, stuffed with rage

Its weight plunging me

Deep into turbulent waters

Lungs filling with sorrows

Scratching at my throat

Forgotten words

Can't breathe

Body heavy

It's been so long

Seeking sanctuary

Yet we drown in the water

Gasping for refreshing air

Not tainted by oppressing powers

Seeking solace to be ourselves

Yet our heads are pushed back down

The tides crash and storms thunder

As do my voices.

Careful

I have to mind my step as I stumble on the pavement and through life.

Remember

I begin to contemplate the hundreds of things I have to do.

Feel

I start to wallow in the shadows of my regrets and those of the buildings.

Wait

My breath pauses as my emotions overtake and I try to contain myself at the bus stop.

Hide

My body shuffles itself to the back corner to hide away my presence.

Quiet

I find my voices quiet as I ponder about the strangers beside me.

...

I have forgotten my emotions and fear to encounter them again on my journey.

Continue

I started living at 18.

Now I'm dying.

Started late, ending early.

Tragic.

It was what I needed to breathe again.

I should have known better. That that path was never meant for me. I was only meant to taste it to see that my dreams were far too sugar coated.

Now, as I form new visions for my future, I remember the sweetness of my dreams and try to pair it with the flavors of reality.

Perhaps this time I can cook up a reasonable path to take.

No one is going to save you from yourself.

You wreak havoc. Create chaos. Dismantle reality. That's what makes you so powerful.

You don't need saving.

You need to stop holding yourself back.

One fucking step at a time.

My words are like bullets, loaded into a gun and ment to shoot out.

But I am an amature shooter. I fumble with the trigger, more often than not...

I miss my target. Wasted amunition.

What if I was blind and never saw you out of the corner of my eye

What if I was deaf and couldn't hear the kindness in your voice

What if I couldn't feel the warmth of your skin

Smell your aroma

Taste your striking flavors

Would you try to make me understand the concept of you?

You forget that you were absent for an old friend's birthday.

You forget that you were transitioning to a different chapter of your life.

It is normal to miss out on things when discovering the world.

It is also normal to feel upset about missing out on some things.

But I must admit, I am afraid I love you more than you love me. I am afraid I am willing to travel the paths no one else sought, to get to you.

But you won't move to meet me half way.

I must admit the journey feels lonely. As I reach my arm out to you and barely get it to twitch. Perhaps it is all an exaggeration.

But that does not dilute the intensity I feel.

The lack of effort on your end.