The blog! IT LIVES! This isn't really a one fandom blog.... I just kinda run with whatever I like. Early thirties, pansexual, polyam, disabled, cis female with small fiber neuropathy and other neuro problems. She/Her/Hers. Cover photo: Go Get a Roomie Avatar: Princess Leia comics (formatted perfectly by petitegaynerd)
"I am not a vessel for your good intent" goes hard as a line from a disabled perspective. Abled people care so much more about being their idea of a good ally than they do actually being a good ally. They shove their good intent right down your throat and then act surprised when you tell them they're suffocating you.
[ID: An image of a sign with a blue background and with a graphic of a stick figure in a wheelchair at the beginning, resembling disabled parking space signs. The text below the stick figure reads "I am not a vessel for your good intent." /ID]
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Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs
People in my notes who think I’m repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
Have you ever felt grateful for how the headcanon of Riza Hawkeye as a trans man seems to be popular across the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom? If so, did you know most of the art you've seen for it is made by one single guy? A guy who really wants to get his top surgery done and could use your help with that? ;)
I'm Dimitri, a 23 year old trans man from São Paulo, Brazil. I've been living alone with my cat since late 2023, and currently I have a job that keeps me away from home 12 hours a day on top of sometimes doing commissions to supplement my income.
I've been drawing fanart for FMA, more specifically for Riza and Royai, for 8 years! On January 29, 2022, I posted a couple of doodles of a very self indulgent scenario of Riza as a trans man on twitter, and to my surprise it got a ton of attention(and some hate too lol). But it made me happy that a self indulgent AU I made to project my own experiences and wishes as a trans man onto my favorite character was so well received :)
This AU was born out of the wish to project onto my favorite character the life I wanted to live. Back then I felt very lost in life, being very dysphoric but with no prospect of getting to start HRT, much less being able to look into top surgery, projecting into Riza the life I wanted for myself(working towards being comfortable in your skin while being loved and supported through it by the people you care about) helped me a lot through it. So as you can imagine, it's a headcanon really personal to me that I hold dear to my heart. Which makes it really funny to me that the more I drew about it, the more popular it got. To the point of there being people who think it's simply a fandom-wide popular headcanon for Riza, not realizing that most, if not all, art for it is born from this one guy's unhinged dedication(me!!!)
Fast forward to 2026. I've been on HRT for 8 months after knowing I'm trans for about 8 years!!! Finally being able to start my transition after so long has made me very eager to start living my life as my authentic self, so I quickly started looking into getting top surgery, something that at this point you could say it’s my dream, as it’s a procedure that would give me back my life as someone whose dysphoria can be paralyzing at times. But the thing is, top surgery is expensive.
To give you some perspective: It's possible to get top surgery for free in Brazil through the government's trans healthcare program. But on top of there being a waitlist of around 2 years, you can't choose the professional who is performing your surgery(among some other bureaucracies).
This is going to be a life-changing surgery for me that is going to give me my life back, so I don't want to wait even more and feel uncertain about the results. Which is why I'm looking into paying for my surgery out-of-pocket. After researching for a while, I've decided on my surgeon. A renowned surgeon in the field who has performed this same surgery countless times, and has even taught surgeons who now perform it for the government's program how to do it in the first place! Which makes me feel confident about his skill and care.
So then I scheduled a consultation with him on April 22, 2026. After a few questions about my journey and clarifications about the surgery, the doctor gave me a price estimate for the procedure.
27(twenty-seven) thousand reais(approximately). This is roughly 20 months of minimum wage here in Brazil. (with roughly 4.000 reais needing to be paid beforehand to schedule a date for the surgery)😭
With all that being said!!!!!! Here are the conclusions:
27.000 reais is a looooot of money for someone who is paid in reais. But the conversion of BRL to USD, based on today's conversion rate, makes it around 5.500 USD— Not so bad if you get paid in dollars, right? It's like a real life money hack ... wowza...
So I'd really appreciate the help of anyone who CAN and WANTS to help me over on Ko-fi. Any amount will help me A LOT, even if to take off the weight from other life expenses so I can focus on commissions! And as I have talked about before, I'm also offering a digital PDF Transmasc Riza zine! With all of the transmasc Riza art I've posted so far + unpublished/revamped illustrations and sketches + guest art/writing from my friends! With both SFW and NSFW sides ;) I plan to have it out by the end of May/beginning of June! I hope you look forward to it!!
PLUS, it's not much, but if you ever thought "damn, I wish this idiot would draw more of this thing he has already drawn or has talked about drawing before", on my ko-fi you can leave a request regarding that! (Do keep in mind it's a tip jar for supporting what I already do, so it's not guaranteed I'll get to draw it at all)
I sincerely thank you for reading until here! Every donation, commission request, purchase of the zine, and reblog would mean the absolute world to me! Thank you so much for all the love and support across all these years, and for staying around to be part of this very exciting stage of my life!
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You know, an interesting tumblr transformation that's happened gradually, and which I've seen no one talk about: ask-culture has essentially dropped off to nothing.
By which I mean, asks used to be WAY more of the tumblr economy. They used to be more common to send, and receive, and see. They were integral to the collaborative, forum-like behavior of old tumblr communities, not even to speak on the HUGE number of ask-blogs that used to exist to only be interacted with in ask-form.
I'm not saying this in a vying-for-attention way but instead in an observational way: I used to get way way more asks in like 2015, even with a fraction of my follower count. I wonder if it's due to the homogenization of social media sites? There's a lot more of this divide between "content creator" and "consumer" instead of just a bunch of peer blogs who would talk to each other. "Asks" aren't really a thing on twitter, are they? And as I understand it, the closest thing to an "ask" on instagram or tiktok would be a creator screenshotting some comment and responding to it in a new reel or video or whatever those content mediums are. Are asks just too tumblr-specific? Is that aspect of the site culture dying out as more and more people converge to using all their social media sites in the same way?
it's probably from assholes making asks a minefield of trolling/harassment for years with no real blocking ability, which turned people off from allowing asks on their blogs so as a whole the site moved away from it
but now that we do have better blocking, we should try to revive it.
Another thing is that I believe now you can only send a blog about 5 asks per hour, which I’m not ever sure something like this was stated as ever changed, but it severely limits the amount of asks one person can send to another. Ask culture isn’t what it was because you also literally cannot keep sending someone asks until the hour has passed
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I was drinking tomato juice while gaming, and I finished it, but then I died and had to reload a save from before I finished my tomato juice, and for a moment, I was genuinely confused about why my tomato juice was still empty.
Most of the cast of And Then There Were None answered this question with something like “Ooh I could never kill anyone. I’d have to poison them and run away”. Not Sam Neill.
Thank-you to all of my new Internet stranger friends for being so gracious about having my post shoved onto your dashboards. I loved reading all of your kind tags and comments! Both Martin and Bosco have been gone for several years now but for 24 hours, they felt very present in my life. I greatly appreciate this gift. ❤️
Thank you to everyone who commented in their tags or messaged me. Indeed, today is “Martin and Bosco Day”. I originally whimsically blazed this photo on 13 July 2022. I never expected Martin and Bosco to travel so far and make so many new friends. The experience has been such a gift for me.
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