i want to hold you close
skin pressed against me tight
lie still, and close your eyes girl
as i whisper in your ear
i want to fucking tear you apart
trigger warnings: death, blood, murder, sex mentions, drugs, alcohol, visceraÂ
first. an odd concept to consider. it was impossible for nathan to know really, who truly pre-dated the other. heâd lived enough liveâs to make the vampire dizzy, but there was a flash of something. a memory perhaps, that told him eun yeong was right. they had been here first. nate didnât stay in one place, had a tendency to wander and never stayed in the place of his most recent death, long. the fear was too consuming, the despair visceral. it was a wonder he had made it to the underground again at all in this decade. that they were right did nothing to stop his lips from twitching down into a frown.
his body operated as a machine all its own, autopilot and the high letting it fulfill the work it was currently paid to do. but his mind wandered, twisting in on itself until it was just this moment, and the two of them with the all too familiar body he ground against as a point of focus. it was easy for a vampire to claim firsties when time was so inconsequential to them. nate huffed his annoyance, stealing himself before he turned. eye contact made it much harder to pretend he was with anyone else, doing anything else.
âsomeone else to seduce and destroy?â he quipped, though no smile would appear this time, his eyes betraying an age his physical form didnât as he wearily watched the beast. his body aware of the proximity to calamity keeping him hyper aware. eyes now tracking each word the way his eyes had noted the sinking of tapered fingers into leather and the way eun yeong was, perhaps for the first time in a very long one, doing as he was told. the eun yeong they knew would have laughed in the face of an order. but then, who was to say they had ever truly known them at all? maybe that assumption was their first mistake.
âwhatever it is, iâm sure it can wait a decade, hm? it isnât like you donât have an abundance of time.â the vampire had good chances to outlive them all, him included. âor stay and do whatever bullshit it is that you need to finish, honestly, i donât care.â a lie, he did care. he cared very much. that was the reason he was here, arms braced along the back of the chair to each side of eun yeongâs neck, body rolling as he leaned in, exchanging breath as he glared down his nose.
âor just get the fuck off the strip. vegas is huge, iâm sure you can find any number of bars and strip joints with less notable dancers and clientele. people go missing all the time, right?â and he didnât care as long they werenât disappearing from his club. as long as he never saw this particular monsterâs face again. no number of lifetimes would ever be enough to cure the ripping ache in him, could erase the memory of teeth and blood and the wet sound of his own screams dying on a pained gurgle when there was no functionality left to keep emitting the sound.
the song was winding to a close, it didnât matter, his body had stopped moving, eyes scanning their face for anything. any trace of recognition or acknowledgment. the phoenix isnât disappointed when they arenât found. that was fate, wasnât it? to put him here at a time like this, his murderer paying to watch him dance like a puppet on the string heâd once strung him along on and the bastard didnât even have the decency to remember it.
âahh,â the sound left his lips, breath teasing along the otherâs face, sure to smell like alcohol and mint. he was no amateur, no one would catch him dead with cigarette breath on the clock. the bitter laugh rumbled in his chest as he leaned away finally. âyou donât even remember do you? of course you donât.â his head tipped back as the laugh sounded more loudly, a shake of his head ending the acidic mirth. âtell you what, you figure out who i am and iâll let you have free reign of the joint, seems fair doesnât it? what with all that time you have. bonus points if you can figure out why itâs taking physical effort not to kill you where you sit.â
their voice was lost to the storm in their mind. waves of emotions and hints of memory slamming into them like a typhoon. but what were they to do? in this moment, eun didnât want to rush away. damn their confusion. damn the echo of pain they didnât understand. there was something stronger beneath all of it. screaming for them to stay. to listen. to simply be in the presence of the other. no matter the depth of the raw ache that was digging its way through their body, their very psyche.
desperately, they tried to think of who could help them understand. of course, there was beryl. the phantom of memory, just barely breathed against their consciousness. but it was enough to know. even if they could remember in the moment. whoever this person was. whatever they were. they meant something. something deep in the hollow of eunâs chest.
with their voice gone, they could only hang on the words being thrown at them. taste the venom as if it was their own. swallow it done. feel itâs burn. no one told them what to do. in the past it would have been a death sentence for anyone who dared. but there they were. saying nothing. gulping down a bane so bitter they were certain it meant death.
their eyes were locked. eun didnât know if it was a challenge or if he was as lost as they were. beneath that venom. that hate. the vampire could smell arousal. but it was faint. swallowed by everything else the other was feeling. eventually, it didnât matter. they couldnât pick any of the emotions apart anymore. not theirs. not his. an immortal mind on the brink of collapse. so, their hands dug deeper into the chair. they nearly cursed when the other remained so close they could have kissed.
it was with great desperation that they held themself back. even with the confusion. the madness of eternity climbing up their spine. eun still, wondered if a kiss would help. if it would jog something that their being was unable to pluck from the torrent that was their emotions. perhaps, it was that thought that they truly feared the most. dread was not something they were used to. most often they didnât even remember the word but in the moment, they did. their mind screamed it.
so, eun turned their face. breaking the eye contact they had been holding. forcing themself to stare at the black curtain and walls instead. the laugh they earned was corrosive. no, they couldnât remember. for once the thought that they couldnât, simply, hurt.
a challenge was laid out but eun was not sure they were prepared for it. first, they took a breath in, it wasnât truly needed but they did anyway. an old habit that seemed to die hard. but soothing none the less. then, they turned their had to look them dead in the eyes once more. something like a smirk curling the corner of their lips. âiâve always loved a hunt,â was all they provided before moving to stand they had no intention of staying any longer. they couldnât.
taking out their wallet once more, they pulled out a couple hundreds and put them in the seat behind them. where they could see the deep tears in the chairâs arms. they easily moved out of the otherâs arms. speed and agility something they constantly used to their advantage, but they made no move to run from them. refused. there had to be something they could cling to. âyouâll see me againâŠâ was the last they had to say as far as they were concerned.
then the phone in their pocket vibratedâŠâŠ