ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
almost home
Product Placement
Xuebing Du
JVL
Kiana Khansmith
dirt enthusiast
NASA
Cosimo Galluzzi
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
#extradirty
One Nice Bug Per Day
Cosmic Funnies
Discoholic đȘ©
Game of Thrones Daily
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Andulka
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Love Begins
seen from Italy
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seen from Bolivia
seen from United States
seen from Congo - Kinshasa
seen from Spain
seen from China
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seen from Russia
seen from Brazil
@eugolorp
jesus: if you literally do nothing else just please. be nice to people
american christians: so basically i should just be really mean to people. just like be super cunty for no reason and get really self-righteous about it. right jesus?
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Fun Historical Newsie Names
Young Monix, Barney Peanuts, Seabutch, Jimmy the Goat, Slobbery Jack, Bag-of-Bones, One Lung Pete, Pug-Nose Pete (these may have been the same boy, in which case: unfortunate), Kid Biscuit, Canal Boat Joe, Jake the Oyster, Muggsy Magee, and my personal favorite: Young Waffles
tag yourself iâm young waffles
the Boosh fandom is safe from the new guidelines
Richard Ayoade refusing to ride a roller coaster moments before riding a roller coaster.
Albany Ledger, Missouri, June 17, 1898
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Three most important innovations of this century:
1.
2.
3.
hot take:Â
Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.
Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.
Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards
& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards
#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING âUGLYâ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)
further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think heâs an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, thereâs very little middle ground.
omg now iâm like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards
by hobbit standards, Iâm afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.
Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards
@femmefaramir this is some fucking galaxy brain level tags and im crying out of sheer horror
these have been sitting on my computer and now all of you get to see it
there is no temptation greater on earth than that of museum gift shops
i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as âdaddyâ and makes contestants wear spreader bars
Iâm sorry what
you heard me
#I CANâT BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW
@genericrevenge
OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?
kinda, yeah
@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed
That logo looks familiar.
WHAT
OH MY GOD
Alton Brown is a real life supervillain
someone tell me what the fuck is going on
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon
I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Moodâą
This is the most relatable thing Iâve ever seen.
TRANSCRIPT:
JOHN MULANEY: I normally donât notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? Iâve been zoned out since 2014.
AUDEINCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.Â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctorâs office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, ânah, Iâm gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughtsâ.
AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS
MULANEY: I was like, âhuh. None of the Beatles had moustaches⊠but then one day, all of them had moustaches.â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: âThatâs weird, I canât think of a time a group has done thatâ. Some people in my life donât want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I donât know if youâve ever tried meditating, but Iâve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I donât like sitting up straight! Alright?! Itâs never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, Iâd be the Dalai Lama. Â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS
MULANEY: I donât like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Donât bother! The moment is mediocre at best!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I mean, itâs fine. Letâs all try right now - letâs all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all!Â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS
MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden youâre like âoh my god, Iâm driving!â and you remember? Youâre like -
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: âIâm going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I couldâve changed so many lives!â Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - sheâll be like, âare you watching the road?â and Iâm always like, âI am looking through the windshield.â
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY:Â âAnd Iâm not gonna hit anyone, but no. Iâm thinking about the Beatles.â
Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!
FRUITS BASKET. FIRST LOOK.
https://twitter.com/magazine_pash/status/1071699625701081088
you can really tell whoâs been on this site for 6+ years this week
most of tumblr: OH GOD TUMBLRâS DYING!!!!
old users:
I need to go back to school and work out and get fit so i can stop hating myself and get a girlfriend and better my life and have a real job that pays good so i can have four cats. But my depression and i are still chillin in this bed for the 3rd year in a row.
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One taught me love
One taught me patience
One taught me pain
Iâve been super busy this month because of inktober and school. But I was able to squeeze in some Noel drawings here and there! <3
