Did my first throw of Witch Runes today (normally use Oracle Cards). Found them much easier to work with. Nice positive message for the coming year. Me and my wife working well together to get good rewards, with a caveat to choose carefully which information to heed. I'll take that!

Been having a stressful time. Too much going on. Too many things to think about. Too much. Too much. My youngest (22 M) discovered I'm human yesterday, not some strong capable knowledgeable patient model of a being. I proper cried in front of him. Ugly cried. Rocked. Babbled. He just held me tight. When I could breath again he asked when I last meditated. November. I've not meditated since November. Brain has been too full. Can't concentrate to meditate. Can't relax to meditate.

I nearly let my Tumblr name slip yesterday! This is the only place left to be anonymous. I can be me here, in all my weirdness, and there is only one other person in the planet who knows its me. The other thing is if I ever want to rant and complain about work I can, because no one knows it's me! If my wife or son ever finds themselves here then my cover is buster because they will recognise my photos! And that's all for now. Thank you.

I did a spell yesterday on myself. No equipment, candles, or potions. I shielded myself from a toxic person using my curly hair as springs to bounce the toxicity back. It worked.

I have a Door Keeper as do many other who work with Spirit. They do a sterling job of protecting me whilst I work with Spirit. I know that we are all Spirit in the physical plane. My thoughts are that my Door Keeper can also protect me from other humans who may not have a 'good and wholesome' Spirit. I asked them to offer me that protection today and it worked for almost a full shift. I will try this again. Perhaps I need to renew my intent partway through the day? I will try more of this.

I had some amazing feedback yesterday. Hard facts, not opinion. I was with a patient in Interventional Ultrasound. We were draining a large heamatoma from next to a recently formed stoma. The patient was about 10 days post surgery and in considerable pain when lying on her back. The nurse was monitoring her vitals, the consultant was performing the drain, the student was observing, and I was assisting with the equipment. Anyway, the patient was getting increasingly upset by the pain, couldn't lie still, heart rate 120. I went over to the patient and started talking to her quietly and calmly. Took her through a little mindfulness, then in to a breathing paced visualisation. It distracted the patient enough for the consultant to complete the procedure. After the patient had gone back to the ward the student told me that the patients heart rate slowed to 100 when I was talking to her, but it spiked when the consultant instructed me to get him something. Actual evidence that my efforts to distract and calm a distressed patient worked! I love my job.

PHOSPHENES. I want to talk about the kind in your eyes. I like mine. I watch them some nights when I'm waiting to sleep. Usually they are red / blue lava lamp patterns with a lazy never ending kaleidoscope effect. I do occasionally get triangles. And if I've got a migraine brewing they are angry lines. In the last year I'm getting more green creeping in. Rarely I get the evenly distributed static TV ones. I know what Science says they are (random patterns from the retina /optic nerve) but I think there is more to it than that. I'm trying to spot if there are any things which influence the patterns and colours. So far I think mood does. I wonder if hormone fluctuations, pain, and hydration have a part to play. I think brain zaps don't have relevance. Would love to hear anyone else's thoughts.

Absolutely love the music of Peter Warlock. Only discovered him in this last year. I prefer the orchestral, then the choral; the 'folk' is growing on me. I've put folk in quotes because I'm not sure what to call the genre but hopefully other fans will know what stuff I mean.

How to balance inattentive ADHD with witchcraft and mediumship? Now I'm menopausal the ADHD is harder to manage. Thinking is hard. Focus is hard. Trying to plan a spell , and then to actually start it without forgetting what I'm doing or the Executive Disfunction chiming in is nigh on impossible. Meditation turn into daydreams or sleep. Even setting intention gets lost. I'm bobbing on the ocean at the moment. Drifting on whatever current grabs me. Trying to manifest a paddle but forgetting to think, mid-thought.

New to this place