Etiquette & Ethics

What I’m talking about is what’s been called “male privilege.” And I think this is the crux of the gender issue; this is what’s holding gender in place: people who have and exert male privilege just don’t want to give it up.

I think that male privilege is the glue that holds the system together. People ask me what it was like to have had that kind of privilege, what it was like to lose it, why in the world I gave it up. To have it was like taking drugs; to get rid of it was like kicking a habit. I gave it up because it was destroying me and the people I loved.

Exerting “male privilege” is acting on the assumption that one has the right to occupy any space or person by whatever means, with or without permission. It’s a sense of entitlement that’s unique to those who have been raised male in most cultures—it’s notably absent in most girls and women. Male privilege is not something that’s given to men in this culture; it’s something that men take. It’s not that women don’t have the ability to have and wield this privilege; some do. It’s that in most cases, this privilege is withheld from them culturally and emotionally. Male privilege is woven into all levels of the culture, from unearned higher wages to more opportunities in the workplace, from higher quality, less-expensive clothing to better bathroom facilities. Male privilege extends into sexual harassment, rape, and war. Combine male privilege with capitalism (which rewards greed and acquisition) and the mass media (which, owned by capitalists, highlights only the rewards of acquisition and makes invisible its penalties), and you have a juggernaut that needs stopping by any means. Male privilege is not the exclusive province of men; there are some few women who have a degree of this horrifying personality trait. The wielding of male privilege is, in a word, violence.”]