Inna

This moment was exactly what you pictured when your friends first proposed the idea of an exciting getaway out of the city. You remember telling them that you wanted to make a bonfire on the first day of the trip, wanting to begin your summer break like it was some kind of coming-of-age movie; and now, here you were, feeling the stress from past assignments and projects leaving your body with every passing minute.

But, although you were thoroughly enjoying yourself, there was a certain feeling you just couldn't shake. It was a heavy feeling, one that you felt deep within your gut, simmering and simmering. You weren't sure how to describe it in the moment, but whatever it was, it was persistent.

You didn't realize it, but you had fallen quiet at the bonfire, while everyone else was still chatting away. Jane and Ava were playfully arguing about something—you were so zoned out that you weren't even aware of the topic of conversation. Billie, on the other hand, was moreso watching the silly argument unfold rather than participating, her shoulders shaking as she laughed gleefully at their antics. When you looked at Billie, that feeling—the one that felt like a coil, steadily growing tighter—had grown stronger, especially when you payed close attention to the way she threw her head back when she was laughing extra hard, or at her smile, which was somehow brighter than the moon in the sky and the fire in front of you altogether. Her pretty, full lips were glossy, and you had no doubt in your mind that it was her beloved Aquaphor that she carried with her everywhere.

Your chest felt tighter. How come every time you gazed at her lately, you felt some kind of a pull? You certaintly didn't always feel like this. Maybe you just missed her; after all, when last semester got rough, you weren't hanging out with her much, as you chose to focus on your studies and ending the semester with a bang. Yeah, that was why.

You only came to the realization that you were full-on staring at your best friend's lips until you heard her voice.

"Hey, you good? You're kinda quiet." Billie asked you softly, grinning at you. You shifted in your seat, immediately tearing your eyes away from her and deciding to focus intently on the fire in front of you. You cleared your throat and took a big gulp of your lemonade before responding.

"Uh, yeah…" You muttered after swallowing, hoping your voice didn't sound too hesitant to her. "Just a little tired, I guess." You said. It wasn't entirely a lie; you were beginning to feel a little sleepy. It was a long day, after all, one mostly spent on the road.

Billie raised an eyebrow, seemingly not too convinced with your answer, but thankfully for you, she didn't pry. Instead, she gently caressed your arm, the affectionate action coming to her completely subconsciously. "Yeah, me too." She replied with a low chuckle, deep blue eyes still boring into you, even while you were turned away.

While Billie was gazing at you, she just barely noticed something on your face; specifically, on the tiny corner of your lips. It was a smudge of chocolate, from the s'mores that you all shared earlier and made sticky messes with. She giggled to herself, and without even thinking, she reached over the armrest of her chair and wiped it away with her thumb.

The sudden gesture got you to look at her again, surprise coloring your features. You didn't make any moves to stop her, though, letting her continue to wipe the smudge away until it was clean.

"Sorry," Billie said with a meek smile. "It was just chocolate. From earlier."

You nodded, trying (and failing) to ignore the way your cheeks warmed at the simple action. Billie only made matters worse for you when you saw her stick her thumb in her mouth, licking away the chocolate that was just on your face. Before you could even stop yourself, you found your eyes trailing back to her lips, watching as her tongue licked away any excess chocolate, swirling around her thumb.

This time, there was no ignoring the way your heart rate spiked. Your own bottom lip was pulled between your teeth as gazed at her, and for a split second, you could have sworn her eyes glanced at your mouth as well. It was dark, and you were growing tired, so your eyes easily could've been playing tricks on you. But then, you saw her lean in, and that you were sure you didn't imagine.

She still had a light smirk resting on her face as she maintained eye contact with you, her eyes undoubtedly lowering toward your mouth a second time.

You froze. You couldn't move, couldn't speak. You were afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.

Billie had opened her mouth to say something, but before any words could come out, Ava had playfully shouted:

"Last one back inside is a rotten egg!"

Billie quickly pulled away, her attention being caught by the two sisters dashing back toward the cabin, chuckling the entire way there.

When Billie looked back at you, you noticed a tinge of redness in her cheeks as she shyly tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"We should rest. Big day tomorrow." She said, a hint of excitement in her tired voice.

You downed the rest of your lemonade in one big gulp. When you were finished, you were the first to stand up, looking down at Billie who was still seated with a friendly smile, trying to conceal the panic you were feeling from just moments ago.

"Don't be a rotten egg," You spoke, starting the trek back to the cabin. Billie just laughed at that, putting out the fire before following suit.

You didn't have a very restful sleep. You couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in front of that fire. Or rather, what could have happened, had Ava not interrupted.

You stored the memory away for some other time, not wanting to dwell on it.

STARGAZING

For most people, 9 P.M. was a time for winding down; but with your three chaotic friends, there was no winding down in sight, even with the sun long having dipped below the horizon.

Jane and Ava both decided to work on cooking dinner, with you and Billie as spectators. It was supposed to be a simple pasta dish, but Jane insisted on making the sauce from scratch. But frankly, not much was getting done, as Jane, Ava, and Billie were far to preoccupied with the music blaring from the bluetooth speaker. You watched from your seat at the kitchen island as Billie used a large wooden spoon as her own personal microphone, with Jane and Ava acting as background singers, and you were pretending to be their very engaged audience member. You absolutely couldn't deny that the three of them sounded amazing together, harmonizing perfectly, their voices blending together with ease. In another universe, you could genuinely imagine them on a big stage together instead of small, humble kitchen.

Eventually, the laughter and the performances came to an end, and after restarting the recipe at least three times, dinner was finally being made. Jane and Ava returned to focusing on the pasta noodles and homemade sauce (with a salad on the side, of course), and Billie occupied herself with playing on her Switch, seated on the couch as episodes of The Office played softly in the background.

It was quiet; but not an awkward quiet. It was tranquil, the sound of sauce simmering away on the stove and romaine lettuce being tossed filling the kitchen. You glanced at Billie, who was very much in her whole little world, eyebrows furrowed as she focused intently on whatever game she was currently playing. With Billie lost in concentration, you took that time to let your gaze linger a little, admiring how much she looked like the epitome of softness in her cozy sweatpants and oversized band tee. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, but some stubborn strands of dark hair still fell in front of her face, and you had the urge to go over there and tuck them behind her ear while she played.

In an attempt to keep your mind from thinking up any other crazy things, you turned your attention back to Jane and Ava. Jane was currently putting some pre-made breadsticks in the oven.

"You guys need help with anything?" You asked, feeling the urge to make yourself useful, as you were the only one not occupied with anything at the moment.

"Nah, we got this!" Ava said, keeping her eyes on the pot of sauce, stirring it slowly. "Thanks, though."

You nodded. "Of course…"

As you trailed off, your gaze then wandered out the tall windows, taking in the darkness of the outside. Impulsively, you felt an itch to get some fresh air.

"I'm gonna go outside. I'll be back in when it's time to eat." You said, standing up from your seat at the island. Jane just gave you a thumbs up, and Ava muttered a quick "K!" as she picked up her phone, probably to put some music back on.

You gave Billie a quick glance. You noticed that she was already looking at you. You just gave her a lopsided smile before sliding on some slip-ons and heading out, ignoring the way your heart jumped at any small amount of attention she gave you.

When you made it outside, the first thing that hit was the cool breeze. You were wearing a hoodie and some pajama pants, though, so you weren't too terribly cold. The delicious smell of pasta and breadsticks was quickly replaced with the smell of nature, the aroma coming from the dirt and the surrounding vegetation no less pleasant.

Immediately, you also noticed that there were many stars out tonight, shining beautifully from their place in the sky. You grabbed a blanket that had accidentally been left out on a chair on the porch and laid it down on a patch of land a little bit further out from the house, deciding to lay flat on your back, so you could look up directly at the night sky.

You allowed yourself to get completely lost in the stars, admiring the brightness of each of them, their unique sizes. It was like staring at an endless abyss, but rather than being terrifying, it was actually quite comforting. If anything, it reminded you of just how beautiful the vastness of the universe was.

"Want company?"

Suddenly, you heard Billie's voice behind you, and even without looking at her you could hear the smirk in her voice. You slowly sat up, turning around to be met with Billie, standing there expectedly, her hair removed from its ponytail and framing her face in pretty waves.

"I always want company." You replied with a smile, scooting over to make space for Billie to lay next you.

She was quick to do just that, getting herself comfortable atop the blanket. The two of you laid back down together, so close your shoulders were touching. You could just faintly make out Billie's perfume amongst the smell of the grass and leaves around you.

"Were you napping out here?" Billie inquired, half-serious, half-joking. You chuckled, absentmindedly fiddling with the fabric of the blanket beneath you as you continued gazing up at the sky.

"No," You replied. "Just… stargazing."

"I see," Billie commented. She let out a sigh, a smile lingering on her face as her eyes tried to scan the hundreds of stars above her all at once. "It's beautiful out here." Her voice came out soft, barely above a whisper.

"Yeah." You quietly agreed.

For a few minutes, there was a comfortable silence that settled between the two of you. It was moments like these that you enjoyed with Billie the most; moments where the two of you were just occupying the same space. No words were even needed, nor was there ever an obligation to do anything with the other; just existing together, breathing the same air, was meaningful enough to you. This moment in particular—lying next to Billie, her perfume washing you in sense of comfort, the night sky enveloping you both in a formless embrace—was a moment you were sure to remember, even long after the trip was over.

"Y'know," Billie began, pulling you out of the recesses of your mind. "I can actually identify some constellations."

You whipped your head over to look at her, both eyebrows raising in surprise and your eyes widening with curiosity. "Really?"

Billie's contagious cackles filled the air almost immediately. "Nope. Kidding."

At that, you rolled your eyes, lightly swatting at her. "You're annoying." You stated, but there was no genuine harshness in your tone.

Billie turned her head to meet your gaze. "You love it." She spoke, a teasing smile lighting up her features.

You simply chuckled in response, knowing full well that what Billie had said was entirely true.

You both were just staring at each other now, the stars just barely illuminating your faces. At some point, you rolled over on your side, still facing Billie, and Billie did the same, leaving the two of you so close to one another that your noses could brush against each other's if either one of you just slightly scooted forward. You could even just faintly feel Billie's breath fan across your face, getting the smallest hint of the mint gum she was chewing a while ago.

In the quietness of this moment, a thought had reoccurred to you.

"Hey, so…" You tucked an arm underneath your head for support as you continued speaking. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." Billie replied, the answer coming out of her so swiftly and with so much sincerity in her tone it nearly made your heart skip a beat.

"It's about… last night. During the bonfire. It seemed like you were going to tell me something before Ava interrupted. What… what was it?"

Billie had suddenly shifted, her expression morphing from warm into something a bit more unreadable. Not cold, or distant by any means, just… unreadable.

"Oh, I was just, uh…" She trailed off, a contemplative glint in her eyes as she chose her next words carefully. "I was just about to ask you if you wanted to go back inside, since you had told me you were tired." Billie explained slowly, almost as if she wasn't even sure of the response she was giving you. She was sporting a somewhat awkward grin, different from her usual playful and confident ones. There was no doubt some kind of change in atmosphere now, but you couldn't pinpoint what had caused it.

Upon hearing Billie's reply, you couldn't help but feel a small but sharp pang of sadness pierce you. With the way she had glanced at your lips (you remember the moment vividly, as it never left your mind for the entire day), you were hoping that maybe she had been thinking what you were thinking in the moment. That she also felt that intense connection that you had felt.

"Oh… okay." You said, trying to hide the disappointment in your tone. You smiled back at her to mask any traces of dejection in your expression.

But Billie, being ever so observant, could sense that there was something else on the tip of your tongue.

"Has something been on your mind lately? It just… seems like something has been bothering you." Billie questioned, eyebrows pinched together in mild concern.

The truthful answer sat heavy on your tongue. You wanted to tell her that she had been the one on your mind lately. That she was all you could think about. But your mouth couldn't form the words; you weren't going to lay all of that on her now, not so suddenly.

You must have been quiet for too long, because Billie had spoken up again. "You don't have to tell me anything right now. You can tell me tomorrow, or even at the end of this trip. Just know that you can tell me anything."

You simply nodded, not trusting your voice enough to verbalize anything. Billie smiled at you, giving your arm a supportive squeeze. Your heart swelled up at the concern she had for you. There was a part of you that felt bad for seemingly making Billie worry, but you just couldn't help the fact that your feelings were a mess.

Once again, silence fell between the both of you, and suddenly the stars were long forgotten as you stared into Billie's eyes. She still had that warm smile on her face as she admired you.

Without even being able to help it, your eyes stole yet another glance at her lips. It was quick, fleeting.

"I… I just…" You trailed off, feeling meek, not even exactly sure what you were gearing up to say. Billie just waited patiently, giving you time to form something, anything comprehensible to say in your mind.

But before you can utter a single word, you heard the familiar sound of Jane's voice.

"Dinner's ready and plates are made! Get in here!"

You released a breath you didn't even know you were holding as you watched Billie slowly sit up, groaning a bit as she did so. You joined her, sitting up alongside her, hearing your heart beat in your ears.

"I meant what I said," she spoke. "You can tell me anything. For real." She pointed at you matter-of-factly, one eyebrow quirked. You giggled.

"I'll tell you… once I figure out how to say it." You responded truthfully. Billie nodded.

"No rush," She said softly, with a grin. "Now, let's go eat. I'm starving."

You stood up alongside Billie, following her back inside the cabin happily.

In the far back of your mind, you replayed your own words to yourself.

I'll tell you once I figure out how to say it.

Were you ever going to figure it out?

LATE NIGHT SWIM

The sun was painted in a pretty combination of oranges, pinks, and reds as you, Jane, Ava, and Billie all ran to the lake carrying towels and sunscreen, chuckling gleefully as excitement rushed through all four of you. You had never swam in a lake before today—but like they always say, there was a first for everything.

The lake itself was a stunning blue, the sunlight reflected in the waves, making for such a beautiful sight that it nearly took your breath away. You stood still at the shore, taking it all in as Jane and Ava set out the chairs around you.

Suddenly, Billie had jogged past you, already heading into the water with a wide smile lighting up her face. You tore your eyes away from the idyllic sunset and placed them on Billie instead, who was clad in a matching black two-piece, hair down and flowing in the breeze. She had already gotten knee-deep, and she turned around to meet your gaze.

"Get in here!" She yelled, and immediately you found yourself grinning ear-to-ear, doing as she said and trudging your way through the water.

Soon enough, Jane and Ava joined as well, bringing pool floaties with them.

Time seemed to slow down as the four you chatted away about everything and nothing under the sun, laughing until your cheeks started to hurt. For a little while, you guys played around with a beach ball that Billie had brought, tossing it back and forth for ages, feeling like little kids again; it was a simple game, but it didn't take much for any of you to be thoroughly entertained. In this moment, the four of you felt like the only people in the world.

Normally, your mind would be focused on having fun with your friends—and while you were genuinely having a good time—your mind couldn't stop latching onto other things. Things it normally didn't care about.

Like the way the water droplets from the lake dripped down Billie's body, glistening from the sun's golden rays. Or the way Billie bit her lip every now and then in concentration, taking this silly game of water volleyball very seriously. Her hair, completely soaked, was pushed back and out of her face, only adding to her ethereal aura. You had been friends with Billie for a long time and her beauty was something you were always aware of; but something had clearly shifted recently. Now you felt all too aware of how strikingly gorgeous she was, in a way that was almost infuriating.

Eventually, after a few beach ball tosses and some poorly made sandcastles later, the four of you were packing up to leave. The sun was almost fully below the horizon now, the sky dark and the air around you slightly more brisk. Billie suggested that the four of you take a group photo, with Billie being the self-appointed selfie stick to the best of her ability. Ava and Jane had their arms wrapped around each other, and Billie had hers around your waist, her chin on your shoulder as she looked into the lens of the camera. Your pulse quickened at her touch; something you were glad Billie couldn't notice.

After the group photo, Jane and Ava hurriedly ran ahead, giggling about something between the two of them with their towels slung over their shoulders. You and Billie on the other hand, stayed behind. You noticed that Billie was still caught on the view of the night sky and the calm water, snapping more photos of the sight before her. Normally, you would've been captured by the view too, but Billie was far prettier.

She caught you staring when she suddenly turned around, sporting a gentle, easy-going smile. "It's gorgeous, right?" She asked you, seemingly oblivious to the fact that you were already looking at her.

You nodded, smiling back at her. "Yeah, it is. I'm sure those photos will come out great."

"Oh, for sure. I can't wait to print them all out. We should do a scrapbook with them or something." She said, walking closer to you. Her eyes tore away from her camera and peered into yours instead, her blue eyes light and full of mirth.

"Oh, we're so doing that," you replied softly, chuckling lightly to yourself. Aftet the words were spoken, there was a silence that filled the air; one that you suddenly made you very aware of how close Billie was standing next to you. You couldn't ignore the intimacy of the moment; it was just the two of you and the occasional sound of the water moving around the both of you. The two of you held eye contact for a good few minutes, and rather than it feeling awkward, the atmosphere felt very charged—charged with something that you couldn't quite decipher. As you were looking into Billie's eyes, you got the sense that she could feel it, too—the strange shift in the air. But her next words promptly made you set the weird atmpshere change aside in your mind.

"We should take a picture together. Just the two of us, here." Billie suggested with a grin. You immediately found yourself nodding, already ready to get into position to pose for a photo, extending your arm so that Billie could slot herself in next to you, her own arm going around your waist. She did the classic Billie pose where she smushed her cheek directly against yours, causing a few giggles to erupt out of you. Billie quickly snapped a couple photos, you and her both changing facial expressions for each one.

But when she lowered the camera, she didn't immediately move away from your side; she stayed put, continuing to look at you fondly.

In this moment, you decided to play with fire again. Your eyes dropped down to her lips, and then back to her eyes. After doing so, you didn't miss the way Billie swallowed, her light smile slowly fading away as she continued gazing at you. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears now.

Was this the moment? The moment where you would speak the truth once and for all?

You opened your mouth to speak—it was just the two of you, alone. And for some reason, you were feeling courageous. You weren't sure were the courage came from, but it was there, and you felt like you needed to take advantage of it; that was, until Ava and Jane called for the both of you.

"Thought you guys got eaten by a shark or something. Are y'all coming?" Ava joked, yelling from her place in the grass several feet ahead of the both of you.

"There are no sharks in the lake, Ava." Jane retaliated, to which Ava lightly shoved her, rolling her eyes.

At that moment, you and Billie finally pulled away. It suddenly felt much colder without her pressed into your side.

Billie looked at you for just a few extra seconds before looking ahead. "We're comin'!" She replied. She threw a glance over her shoulder, smiling lightly. "We should catch up."

You nodded, feeling the warmth in your cheeks. You felt like you could vomit. You were so close to either completely destroying the relationship you had with Billie or completely changing it. Now, you'd never know. At least, not until you could up muster up the courage again. You weren't sure if you ever would.

"Yeah." You simply replied, following behind Billie.

The two of you still were a bit far from Ava and Jane but still trailing close. At some point during the journey back home, Billie nudged your shoulder.

"What were you gonna tell me earlier?" She asked, and you felt your heart rate speed up yet again.

"Um…" You trailed off, silently mulling over your next words in your mind. "Just… just that… y'know what, it really wasn't important."

Billie eyed you suspisciously. "You sure?"

You chuckled nervously. "Yes, I'm sure," you continued to lie, hoping your unsteady cadence wasn't giving you away.

Billie nodded slowly, still looking at you with an inquiring gaze. You hoped your lie sounded convincing enough; but you also knew that she knew you too well. However, much to your relief, Billie didn't seem to question you further. Either she truly did believe you, or she could tell you weren't ready to tell whatever you were actually going to confess. Regardless, you were grateful.

"Okay, then. If it turns out that it was important, let me know." She said with a teasing grin, nudging your shoulder again.

"Will do," you replied, wearing the same expression. After the exchange, the both of you caught up with Ava and Jane, joining them in their conversation about what the scariest sea creature was. Billie started going off about how whales utterly terrified her. Externally, you were looking at her as she passionately gave her speech, chuckling at her seriousness in an otherwise lighthearted conversaiton; internally, though, you were burying your feelings yet again, trying to ignore the way your heart ached.

FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS

Music filled the living room as you and your friends sat together in a circle on the carpet, surrounded by colorful beads and strings. Ava and Jane had made about two bracelets each, while you were still on your first one after spending several minutes carefully considering your color combination. Billie had already made three, and the one she was making currently was actually a bracelet she had planned on giving to you.

Ava, on the other hand, happily and proudly looked at the two bracelets on her wrist.

"This is so cute, right?" She spoke, showing them off. One was pink and white that had her name on it, and the other was purple and black.

You nodded. "Nice colors," you told her with a smile, glancing up from your own bracelet briefly.

"Thanks. Yours is turning out well, too." Ava replied, already getting started on making another one.

You looked over to Billie, who looked like she was just about done creating her fourth. She hid it in her palm, looking at you with a pleased smile.

"You ready to see yours?" She asked excitedly.

"Hell yeah." You enthusiastically replied, pausing your bracelet-making and waiting with bated breath to see what Billie had created for you. When she finally unfolded her palm, she revealed a bracelet made with pretty pink and purple beads, and when you got to the letters, you were expecting it to say your name, but instead you were comically met with the simple word, "poop."

You immediately looked up at Billie with a deadpan gaze, trying to fight the laughter that was threatening to escape you. Billie just looked back at you like she was utterly confused at your reaction to what she no doubt deemed a masterpiece.

"What? It's beautiful, right?" She questioned, holding back chuckles of her own. You just sighed, shaking your head as you took the bracelet out of Billie's palm to examine it further.

"Why did you spell out the word 'poop'?" You asked, to which Jane and Ava both snorted.

"Because you're the shit. Duh." Billie smoothly replied, and all you did in response was face palm, those giggles that you tried to hold back finally tumbling from your throat.

"Okay. That's kinda sweet actually. But now I have to make you something in return." You said, eyeing her mischeviously, quickly getting to work on starting another bracelet specifcally for Billie. Billie clapped her hands excitedly.

"Can't wait. It better be flawless." She joked.

You made this bracelet rather hastily, quickly deciding on a color combination that consisted of light green and brown. You were already snickering to yourself quietly as you spelled out the word for Billie's bracelet, trying your best to shield it from her so she couldn't get any quick glances.

"What's so funny?" Billie asked, one eyebrow raised.

"You'll see. I'm almost done." You replied, and within a few seconds after saying so, you had completed the bracelet, tying it at the ends and giving a test stretch. When you were satisfied, you turned to Billie.

"Okay. You ready?" You said, holding it in your hand. Billie just silently held out her own, ready to accept what you had made her.

When you revealed the bracelet, you kept your eyes trained closely on Billie's face, waiting to see her register what you had spelled out, which didn't take long; almost instantly, Billie burst out into loud cackles, causing Ava and Jane to look up from their own bracelets to see what had given Billie such a big reaction.

In line with what Billie had given you, your bracelet spelled out the word "fart."

Jane shook her head, not wanting to laugh but failing to do so due to everyone else's contagious laughter filling the room.

Billie took the bracelet and held it up with pride before putting it on her wrist. "I love it. Genuinely."

"Now we're matching." You stated.

Dramatically, Billie put a hand over her heart. "It makes so much sense—because you can't have poop without farts. It means we're a match made in heaven."

"You're such a weirdo." You teased.

"Says the person that just made me a bracelet that says 'fart.'"

"Girl, shut up, you started it!"

"Whatever. You love me all the same."

Billie's words had been lighthearted, but for some reason, when she spoke them, you felt a shift in the room. The dopey smile you had been wearing slowly began to fade as your mind began repeating her last sentence.

You love me all the same.

You suddenly had felt a pit in your stomach as you gazed at Billie, who had taken a break from bracelet-making to scroll on her phone and was oblivious to the sudden epiphany you were having. How funny that you were just now coming to terms with the fact that you were in love with your best friend during what was supposed to be a completely platonic, normal activity?

"We should all take a photo of our bracelets!" Ava suddenly spoke, pulling you out of your mind. You tried to plaster on your smile again, but no doubt it probably looked more forced now. You just hoped your friends wouldn't be too observant.

The four of you each put on the bracelets, sticking out your hands and making a star shape with your fingers. Ava snapped a couple of photos, after which she immediately sent them to the group chat you all were in.

"Alright, now who's hungry?" Jane spoke, and Ava and Billie both said 'me' nearly at the same time, getting to work on cleaning up all of the beads and charms on the floor. You helped too, albeit a bit more slowly than the others, still deep in thought, and still hearing those three words repeated over and over again, like your brain was mocking you.

You love me all the same.

You love me all the same.

You love me.

You love her. You're in love with your best friend.

A gentle touch on your shoulder brought you back to the present again. It was Billie.

"You good?" She asked with a grin. You didn't realize it, but Ava and Jane had already left the room.

You nodded in response, trying to throw her a grin back, but it didn't quite reach your eyes. "Yeah. Just thinking about what to eat." You lied. Food was actually the last thing on your mind.

"I think I heard Jane say something about vegan pizza," Billie said, standing up and stretching her limbs until a few quiet pops could be heard. "C'mon, we're gonna make it together!"

You did just that, standing up and following Billie out of the bedroom, burying your feelings once again.

The pizza was a success. It was easily the most delicious thing you had eaten on the trip by far. Sadly, though, you couldn't enjoy it as much as you wanted to, not with your mind constantly in overdrive about your newfound feelings.

By the time the sun had fully dipped below the horizon, Ava and Jane had already went off to bed. You stayed up with Billie for a bit, watching her play Animal Crossing on her switch, before eventually sleepiness had taken a hold of her, too, and she retreated to her own room to call it a night.

You had went to your own room as well, but unlike the others, you weren't very tired. You tossed and turned and waited so very patiently for sleep to arrive—but it never did, and after about an hour of hoping it would, you eventually gave up, exiting your room and making a beeline for the kitchen, rubbing the tiredness out of your eyes and releasing a heavy sigh.

You mindlessly opened the fridge, grabbing a bottle of orange juice. It was just enough for one more glass so you decided to finish it off.

With your cup of orange juice in hand, you sat down at the dining table, sipping in silence, your mind annoyingly active given what time of night it was. You were already reminsicing about everything that you and your friends had did together, and your heart felt heavy at the fact that in just a few hours, everyone would be packing their things back into the van and going back to the city. You weren't looking forward to returning to monotony of your everyday life.

Eventually, your thoughts began to shift to something else entirely, though; namely, Billie. You replayed nearly every interaction you had with her in your mind, focusing on strange details each time, like how she smelled, how she looked at you, how she touched you. To her, her gestures and actions probably meant nothing, but you obsessed over them. Every time she laughed at one of your jokes, or cuddled into your side whenever she was seated next to you—you craved it. And you craved having her all to yourself, where you could keep making her laugh until the end of time, maybe in a house, with a white pickett fence and her two pitbulls.

You sighed, leaning forward to rest your forehead on the cold, wooden table.

You truly had no idea what to do—but one thing was for certain. Keeping it to yourself was much easier than anything else you could do. Although it hurt, nothing would hurt more than the possibility of Billie rejecting you.

You didn't realize it at first, too caught up in your own misery to notice, but Billie had quietly snuck out of her own room, feet barely grazing against the floor as she also snuck her way to the kitchen, where she was surprised to see you were already there.

"Hey, you," Billie had said quietly, causing you to jolt in your seat. You raised your head off the table and whipped it around to look at Billie, putting a hand over your heart.

"You scared the shit out of me," you said with a small smile. Billie chuckled, making herself a cup of water from the dispenser in the fridge.

"My bad," she muttered. She took a quick sip before continuing. "What are you still doing up?" She inquired.

You shrugged. "Feeling a bit restless. What about you?"

She nodded in agreement. "You know what? Me too. I don't want this trip to end so I'm trying to prolong the next day from coming for as long as possible." She said.

You laughed airily at that. "I feel you. I can't believe the end is already here."

Pulling out a seat, Billie sat next to you, setting her cup down and staring into it, lazily circling the rim of it with her finger as she spoke.

"I know, right? But on the bright side," She paused, bringing her gaze to your face. "There will always be another opportunity to plan a trip like this again. And trust me, we are definitely doing this again." She said with a smile.

"For sure," you replied, trying to match her enthusiasm, but instead it sounded painfully obvious that you weren't fully present in the moment; detached from the conversation at hand. So obvious that of course, Billie noticed.

The smile that she was sporting slowly faded as she looked at you, concern pinching her eyebrows together as she observed you carefully. Your eyes fell down to your lap where you twiddled your thumbs mindlessly, shifting in your seat at being so closely examined by her. Even though you weren't looking at her you could feel her eyes burning into you.

"Something's been bothering you." Billie stated; she deliberately didn't phrase it as a question but rather as a simple fact, one that you knew was true.

You nodded, letting out a heavy sigh. If only you were better at masking your feelings. Or if only Billie weren't so good at seeing right through you.

"Yeah," you began, voice quiet, but in the dead of night, it was loud and clear. "Remember when we were laying underneath the stars together? A couple days ago?" You spoke. You tried to keep your voice still; tried not to let your anxiety about this moment spill through the cracks.

Billie nodded, silently prompting you to continue, listening attentively.

"And… remember when I said I'd tell you something…" You trailed off, feeling your heart rate increase, the muscle pounding incessantly against your ribcage. You still couldn't bring yourself to gaze up at her, eyes still glued to your lap.

"You said you'd tell me once you figured out how to say it…" Billie interjected. Taking a sip of her water, she then added, "Did you?"

"I did. I think I did, anyway. But I just don't know how to… I mean, I just don't know if I can…" You replied, a great amount of uncertainty in your voice as you tried to pick and choose your words carefully. The back of your ears began to run hot as you already felt like you were making a fool of yourself and you hadn't even confessed anything yet.

"Hey," Billie said softly. "Can you look at me, please?"

It took you several long seconds to do so, but eventually, you tore your gaze away from your lap and brought them up to your best friend's face. You noticed her expression shift from that of slight concern to something a bit warmer when she finally made eye contact with you.

"You know I'd never judge you for anything, right?" She asked.

"I know, Billie. I know. I just don't wanna…" Your voice trembled as the sentence fell apart.

"Don't wanna what? It's okay, you can tell me." Billie urged.

You let out another sigh, one that had even more weight behind it than the last.

"I just don't want anything to change between us." You said sincerely.

Billie leaned forward, her gaze firm. "There's nothing that you could say or do that would change or ruin what we have. I promise."

At that, you felt something come over you. A twinge of boldness. A random surge of confidence.

"Nothing?" You inquired, a hopeful glint in your eye.

Billie smiled, confirming with a nod. "Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all."

Now or never, you thought.

"I want to kiss you." You confessed. When the words finally left your mouth, you immediately felt your shoulders become lighter, the invisible weight that had been holding you down for days finally disappearing. "And I think I'm in love with you."

You could tell Billie was surprised at first, her eyes widening and lips parting ever so slightly at your admission.

"Oh," was all she said after a couple excruciatingly long minutes. The single word, said so quietly you almost didn't catch it, felt like a heavy slap to the face.

Almost in an instant, regret hit you like a ton of bricks. "I'm so sorry. I don't—I don't know why I—I just—" you were stammering, searching for the right words, as if there was anything you could say that would undo what had just transpired.

But the slow smile that appeared on Billie's face put a stop to your panicked rambling. Simply tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear, her next words completely stole the breath from your lungs.

"Then kiss me." She said, no hint of hesitation in her voice, not even a sarcastic undertone. She was being 100% serious, and you swore your ears were playing tricks on you. For a brief moment, you even wondered if this was all a dream.

"I—what?" You said through nervous, breathless laughter, the situation so absurd and unexpected that

But you didn't even need to worry about what to say next, because Billie was already going in for more, effectively silencing your panicked scrambling. She brought one hand up to the side of your face, thumb gently gliding across your cheek as she kissed you with even more passion than before, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs.

It was Billie who pulled away this time, looking quite breathless herself, a wide smile having blossomed across her face.

"What took you so long?" Billie asked, a teasing lilt to her voice. You just looked at her like she was crazy, your brain still trying to process and make sense of everything that had happened.

"What?" You questioned, a smile of your own tugging at your lips.

"What took you so long to kiss me?"

You chuckled nervously, internally hoping that this wasn't some cruel dream. "I don't know, I just… I didn't know if you felt the same." You replied.

"Of course I felt the same," she ran a hand through her hair, leaning back in her chair. "I've felt the same for a while now, actually." She spoke, her voice quieter as she became more vulnerable.

"Really?" You urged. "How… how long have you known?"

"I think it started when we were teenagers," Billie said, grinning faintly as she thought back to her memories with you when you both were too careless for your own good.

"During that time, I felt some kind of pull toward you; it was something I couldn't quite understand, back then. But regardless, I knew that you were really special to me, but I was afraid to act on it. I wasn't even sure if you liked girls so I just… kept it to myself, thinking my feelings would go away. They didn't, obviously."

Your heart warmed at Billie's admission, eyebrows creasing at the sincerety of her words. "Oh, Billie… I can't believe you kept them buried for so long."

"Yeah, well, now that the secret is out, I feel like I can fnally breathe. Like a huge weight's been lifted from my shoulders." She said, a series of giggles escaping her, the contagious sound making you release some of your own.

"Tell me about it," You replied, almost feeling dizzy with how elated you were feeling in the moment. "I honestly don't think I could've kept it in for much longer."

"Well," Billie said with a smile. "Good thing you don't have to anymore."

You mirrored her expression, taking her hand in yours with interlaced fingers. "Yeah."

The both of you let a comfortable silence fill the space, allowing the warmth of the words shared just moments prior to settle over the two of you. Your eyes glanced down at your hand that was gripped tightly in Billie's before slowly drifting up to her face. You saw she was already looking at you when you lifted your gaze, still smiling lazily, honey practically pouring out of her eyes as she admired you. You turned away out of shyness, biting your lip to keep your grin from growing wider, but of course, it didn't really work.

"What?" Billie questioned, amusement in her tone.

"You can't look at me like that," You replied, feeling heat gradually rush to your cheeks.

"Like what? Like how I've always looked at you?" Billie retorted, smirking, as if she was getting a kick out of seeing you so flustered.

You shook your head, finally finding the courage to look at her again, this time with a more contemplative expression, a thought crossing your mind briefly.

"It feels… different, though." You spoke. Billie's eyebrows furrowed slightly. She turned toward you more, hanging onto your every word.

"What does?"

You shrugged, vagualey gesturing with your head to your interlaced fingers.

Billie threw her head back, a quiet laugh escaping her. The sound was very quickly becoming your favorite thing in the entire world (if you were being honest with yourself, it already had been).

"I don't think it feels different. You're still my best friend in the entire world. The only thing that's changed is… now I can kiss you whenever I want."

It was your turn to laugh now, the sound coming out a bit louder than you meant it too gven the time of night. You don't remember the last time you smiled this hard.

"Yeah… I guess that's a difference."

"Is that something you want?"

You raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Me kissing you all the time."

You nodded, your grin far wider than you ever thought it could be.

"Yeah, Bils. I'd like that very much."

At that, Billie stood up, her hand still in yours, still wearing a lovesick grin of her own. You stood up alongside her, and the second you were eye-level with her, she was already leaning in to plant another kiss on your lips, chaste and fleeting.

When she pulled away, she looked at you with amusement written all over her face, fully pleased with the way your eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Chuckles escaped her as she took in your expression. "You're so cu-"

You gave her a taste of your own medicine, capturing her lips in a kiss that was equally as brief.

"I'm so what? Sorry, I didn't catch that." You said, eyes glowing with mischief.

A pause. She then pulled you closer by your waist, eyeing you fondly. "You think you're so funny."

"I'm hilarious," you replied.

"Mhm," Billie muttered, leaning in closer to you, her eyes laser-focused on your lips. "Very hilarious."

It didn't take long for the both of you to lose yourselves in each other, your arms loosely wrapped around Billie's neck as she kissed you with a sudden fiery passion, all while trying to guide you to her bedroom. It wasn't a smooth journey by any means, the two of you bumping into walls and furniture, giggling into each other's mouths.

But when the two of you finally made it to the bed, with you comfortably lying on top of Billie, you only shared a few more pecks before finally parting, the both of you breathless as you admired each other.

"We should sleep," you spoke softly, barely audible if not for how quiet the bedroom was. You didn't sound very convincing, and with the way Billie was smiling, she didn't seem to think you were very convincing either.

"Yeah… we probably should." Billie replied, equally as unconvincingly, eyes still lingering on the lower half of your face.

You fought against whatever the other part of your brain was telling you, removing yourself from her and settling beside ber instead. But as you both got comfortable, you very quickly realized that sleep would definitely be practically impossible to come by, but you weren't complaining. You were both face-to-face, close enough that either one of you could lean in just a few inches and both of your noses would touch. It reminded you of just a few days ago, when the two of you were lying underneath the stars, except this time, the energy was completely different.

Back then, having her so close to you nearly felt suffocating. It had been difficult then, trying to act against your impulses. Now, the tension between the two of you was charged with something different; you felt like you could breathe again, now that you didn't have to hide the fondness in your eyes. Plus, you could unapologetically glance at her lips without it feeling like a punch in the gut. Without even fully realizing it, you were smiling to yourself, just happy that she was finally yours.

"What are you thinking about over there?" Billie asked, a smirk growing on her own features. She was always so good at seeing right through you; and now, it didn't feel like a curse.

"I'm thinking about…" A beat, as you contemplated teasing her, or being honest. You eventually settled for being honest. "… how I want to keep kissing you."

Billie's smirk deepened, and in a split second, she was moving to hover over you, being careful as to not put her full weight on you. She tucked her hair behind her ear, leaning in close, whispering one last sentence against your lips.

"Me too," she spoke, and before you could even let out a coy chuckle in response, her lips were already on yours. You were already becoming obsessed with how she kissed you—like she was dying of thirst and you were an oasis. It made you lightheaded and hungry for more all at once.

Whenever she pulled away, it was never for long; it was only to get a little bit of air, and she was back to kissing you senseless, the sound of your lips re-connecting with hers filling the space around you. At some point, Billie parted her lips, her tongue peeking out courageously, the wet muscle ever so gently brushing against your lips. There was no hesitation in the way that you invited her in, letting your tongue touch hers, the feeling immediately getting a soft whine out of you.

It seemed like the air around the both of you had warmed up significantly, as the two of you eventually migrated from underneath the thick comforter, re-adjusting as needed while still trying to keep your lips from separating. There was a couple times that your forehead bumped into Billie's, causing the both of you to pause only for a few seconds to giggle into each other's mouths.

At some point, while you were half-way on top of Billie, you felt her hands go underneath your shirt, gently rubbing the bare skin of your back. The action made your heart rate spike, desire pooling in your stomach as her touch set your skin aflame. But there was something else simmering within you, and it was that all too familiar feeling of anxiety, causing you to briefly snap out of your lust-filled haze.

It was your turn to pull away now, completely this time, a long string of saliva forming and immediately breaking between the two of you. It took Billie a couple seconds too long to open her eyes, her pupils blown wide as she looked at you with a hooded gaze. You felt your cheeks flush while taking in the shine on her lips from your spit and the way they were still slightly parted, her chest rising and falling slowly as she took in some air. While observing her, you almost forgot the reason why you pulled away in the first place, but with the way her hand was still at the small of your back, you very quickly remembered.

You eased yourself off of her, sitting up straight against the headboard, letting your head fall against it with a soft thud. You let your eyes fall shut, suddenly feeling insecure about the confession that sat on your tongue.

You heard Billie shifting next to you, and you swore you could still feel her gaze pinning you down.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly, and the concern in her voice had you opening your eyes, turning your head to face her. She was in fact still looking at you, worry painting her features. You felt a pang in your heart at how troubled she seemed over your sudden withdrawal, and your mind began racing with things to say to ease her concerns.

"I'm okay, Bils, I just…" You trailed off, embarrasment creeping up your neck and making the back of your ears hot.

You felt Billie grab your hand, squeezing gently as a way of silently communicating to you that she was listening, and that you didn't have anything to worry about when it came to her. You knew this without her even having to verbalize it. She just looked at you expectedly, allowing you to take your time and find your next words.

There was no point in holding it in any longer, no need to make her wait; so, you let the admission roll of your tongue.

"I've never… done anything with another woman before." You confessed, your eyes falling down to your lap, suddenly feeling too shy to keep Billie's gaze.

It was a silent for a bit, and for one foolish second, you thought maybe you had ruined the moment. But only for a second, because any anxiety that you were feeling was quickly washed away upon hearing the sound of Billie's airy laughter—but you could tell she wasn't laughing at you. No, it was the kind of laughter that arose from surprise or sudden relief.

"Please, don't tell me you thought I would judge you for that, baby."

Hearing the pet name fall from her lips made your heart skip a beat, but you tried to let it wash over you, ignoring the flutter in your stomach at how sweet it sounded coming from her.

"I know you wouldn't, I'm just… nervous," You spoke, your eyes drifting back down to your lap where you twiddled your thumbs anxiously. "I don't wanna do the wrong thing, or—"

"Look at me," Billie interjected, her tone of voice still soft even while giving a firm command. You obeyed, eyes flitting back to her face almost instantly.

She brought one hand up to your cheek, her thumb caressing the skin gently, like you were made of porcelain. "You don't need to worry about anything, okay? All you need to do is be vocal; tell me what you like and don't like. Can you do that for me?"

I'd do anything for you, a voice said in your mind. To Billie, though, you simply opted for a shy and quiet "yes."

At that, Billie smiled, leaning in to give you a peck. "Good girl." She praised, voice barely above a whisper. You couldn't help but squeeze your thighs together at the way those two simple words sounded rolling off of her tongue, her voice low and sensual, so much different from the sweet, honeyed tone she had just a moment ago.

Billie just chuckled, as if she knew the effect she had on you. "Here," she began, re-adjusting, putting a pillow against the headboard to lean against. Then, she looked at you. "I want you to lean against me." She instructed. You did as she said, slowly lying back against her chest, sitting comfortbly in the space between her legs. Your heart was ceaselessly drumming against your ribcage, and your entire body felt like it had been pulsing with electricity, every fiber of your being aching with anticipation but also with nerves. Your mind began to fill with worrisome thoughts, mostly about your inexperience with having sex with someone who wasn't a man. With men, you followed a script; it was easy and reliable. But this was uncharted territory.

As if Billie could hear your racing mind, she pulled you back to the present by trailing a series of wet kisses down the column of your neck, her fingers teasing the hem of your shirt. At the moment, you actively tried turning your brain off, letting a sigh blow past your lips as you melted more into her touch.

"Can I take this shirt off?" She asked, and you could just barely hear a hint of impatience in her tone, clearly eager to see every part of you. Wordlessly, you nodded, slowly pulling your shirt over your head with Billie's help. Almost instantly, the shirt was tossed haphazardly onto the floor, and now the top half of your body was completely exposed, the cool air hitting your warm skin. You watched as Billie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she admired the sight of you, bare chest and all, her hands wasting no time in cupping your breasts, squeezing gently, kneading the flesh between her fingers.

"Can't believe you're all mine, baby." Billie spoke, her breath hitting your ear, causing a chill to run down your back. You're in such a floaty headspace already, teetering on the edge of reality, that all you can do is let your eyes flutter closed as she continues her movements. You silently noted how much you loved hearing that possessive word—mine—roll off her tongue.

Soon enough, she was removing one of her hands from your breast, and before you could lazily protest, your eyes slowly opening, yet another command fell from Billie's lips.

"Look at me." She stated, and immediately, your eyes met her own hypnotizing ones, your neck craning ever so slightly. Then, you watched with bated breath as Billie held up two fingers—her middle and ring fingers, specifically—bringing them close to your mouth. Before she even said anything, your lips parted instinctelvy, your gaze briefly glancing down at her hand. You saw the way the corners of Billie's lips went up, a fire being lit in her eyes, as if she could read your mind.

"Go on," she said, her voice so low that it only made the ache between your legs even more unbearable. "Get 'em nice and wet for me, yeah?"

And of course, you did as she asked, immediately taking those two fingers into the warm and wet cavern that was your mouth, your tongue swirling around the tips of them. Billie's eyes never once left your mouth, completely entranced by the way you covered her fingers in your spit, leaving them coated and glistening. Your cheeks burned as you felt slightly embarrassed putting on such an erotic show for her like this, but with the way she was looking at you so hungrily, gaze hooded, you felt a surge of boldness run through you.

"Very good," Billie praised, pulling her fingers out of your mouth when she was satisfied with how slick they were, practically glistening.

"Now, take off your shorts." Billie instructed next, and you didn't waste any time, quickly tugging your cotton sleep shorts down your legs and throwing them somewhere in the room once they were fully off. The only thing you were left in now was a thin pair of panties, and they were practically sticking to you with how wet you were.

Silently, Billie's hand trailed down your body, stopping right above the waistband of your underwear. She didn't ask for these to removed next; instead, she simply pulled the fabric to the side, exposing your slick folds to the cool air in the room, making you shiver with anticipation. You swallowed, feeling goosebumps riddle your skin at what was to come.

"I'm gonna touch you now, okay?" Billie said, the warmth of her breath hitting your ear. Her fingers gently brushed the inner part of your thigh, teasing you further. "Remember to relax, yeah?"

You nodded, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, your heart rate gradually decreasing as you fully allowed yourself to melt into Billie's touch. She studied you closely, observing your facial expressions, and when saw that you were ready, her fingers finally made contact with your core, applying a gentle pressure.

A pleased sigh escaped you before she even began moving her fingers, as you were so aroused that the smallest touch was already pleasurable enough. But then Billie began to rub her fingers up and down, faint wet sounds filling the quietness of the space, causing heat to rush to your cheeks in slight embarrasment at how much of an effect she had on you. Her fingers were moving slowly and carefully as she measured your reactions, paying close attention to how your breathing became more labored, your bottom lip sucked between your teeth, afraid of letting any noises slip.

But it only became more difficult for you when she finally paid attention to your clit, rubbing the sensitive nub in slow, circular motions. Your attempt at being quiet almost immediately went down the drain, a sharp, high-pitched gasp escaping you. Your eyes fell shut, forcing you to focus only on the way Billie was touching you so expertly, her fingers gradually speeding up, drawing out your pleasure as much as she could, taking her time in making you fall apart.

"That feel good?" Billie had the audacity to ask you, knowing full well you had completely forgotten how to speak at this point. You could only give her a nod and some kind of shaky sigh in response. Billie seemed determined to make you crumble, her fingers rubbing you quickly, the motion slowly but surely causing the familiar feeling in your stomach, growing tighter and tigher every passing second.

Your breathing was heavy now, chest rising and falling rapidly, and in an effort to be mindful of the other two people sleeping not to far away from where you were, you brought a hand to your mouth, hoping to muffle any other noises that escaped; but Billie was quick to pull your hand down, interlacing her fingers with yours as she kept up her relentless pace in between your legs. Finally, a low whine climbed out of your throat, hips beginning to squirm at Billie's unforgiving ministrations.

"There she is," Billie spoke lowly, and you swore you could hear the smirk in her voice. "Need to hear how good you sound when I make you cum."

The bluntness of her words only added to how turned on you were, and with your orgasm just on the horizon, it became near impossible to hold back, your soft signs transitioning into audible cries. Despite being in Billie's grasp, it didn't stop you from squirming, your hips automatically trying to move away from the onslaught of pleasure she was giving you, but of course, you couldn't get very far.

"Billie—oh my god," you moaned, throwing your head back onto her shoulder. The sounds were pouring out of you now, and you could only hope that the walls were thick enough that you weren't disrupting anyone's sleep. But honestly, being disruptive was the last thing on your mind as you felt that coil in your stomach grow impossibly tighter. Your legs come together, closing around her wrist, but that doesn't stop her nor slow her down.

"I know, baby, I know," Billie said, faux sympathy oozing from her tone. Evilly, she only made matters worse for you when she suddenly introduced two of her fingers, making sure to keep your clit stimulated with the palm of her hand, hitting the tiny bundle of nerves with every thrust.

"You're gonna cum for me, aren't you?" She spoke, and you could hear the pleased smile in her voice.

Another broken sob escaped you instead of words, as you were far too gone to even try to be coherent. You could feel the vibration of Billie’s chest as she chuckled lowly at you, clearly satisfied with how she's managed to get you to this state.

Your orgasm was closer than ever, building and building, your entire body shaking in Billie's hold. Your eyebrows pinched together as you focused intently on that ever-growing feeling; the feeling of Billie's fingers rubbing so perfectly against your inner walls. She only needed to thrust one, two, three more times before that tightening coil in your stomach finally snapped, causing your legs to twitch uncontrollably as your orgasm crashed over you in dramatic waves.

In the aftermath, you simply laid there, the only sound filling the room being your heavy breathing that was gradually slowing with each passing minute. You threw your head back onto Billie's shoulder, completely spent, exhaustion quickly settling over you. You felt Billie gently caress your thigh absentmindedly, the sound of her own breathing mixing with yours. You felt her chest rise and fall against your back as you came down from cloud nine.

"Billie… where on earth did you learn how to do that?" You questioned, piercing the silence.

Billie chuckled—a sound that was very quickly becoming your favorite. If you were being honest, it already was.

"You say that as if pleasuring a woman is rocket science or something."

"My exes would say otherwise," you replied, cringing despite yourself while briefly thinking back to past hook-ups that left much to be desired.

"Your exes are stupid." Billie retorted matter-of-factly, her words curt and to the point. It pulled a hearty laugh out of you, one that you failed to hold back. At this point, you could only hope that Ava and Jane were heavy sleepers.

"Well," you began, craning your head in a way so that you were facing her. "I won't argue with that."

Billie just smiled, the sight still making your heart skip a beat even after all these years. You didn't miss the way the her eyes glanced down at your lips, and for the first time, without feeling scared or nervous, you leaned in and kissed her, capturing her lips greedily.

When you pulled away, you began to feel just how heavy your eyelids were. Billie took note of the way you were starting to fight sleep, giving you one last peck on the cheek.

"C'mon, sleepyhead. Let's get you to bed." She spoke, helping you reposition. You tiredly reached for your neglected shirt, putting it back on inside-out and not even caring, already getting settled underneath the comforter with Billie holding you close, the warmth from her body and her steady heartbeat only making you sleepier.

The last thing you heard was the sound of Billie's gentle voice, right beside you, muttering a lazy "goodnight, baby," the words slow and drawn-out.

Golden rays of light filling the room was the first thing you noticed upon opening your eyes, your eyes squinting a bit at the sudden brightness. The next thing you noticed immediately after was the feeling of a warm body behind you, holding you close, arms wrapped around you tightly as if you were going to disappear into thin air. You couldn't fight the smile that was growing on your face at you4 current predicament, all of the memories from last night flooding your brain all at once.

You were totally comfortable staying put, wanting to live in the moment forever, but you felt compelled to check the time, knowing that you had to be moved out of the rental cabin at a certain time. Thankfully, your phone was not far, sitting on the bedside table. You had to come out of Billie's grasp just a bit to reach for it, and nervously you glanced back, waiting to see if she would wake, but fortunately she didn't stir.

When you tapped the screen, bringing the phone to the life, the first thing you saw was your dangerously low battery that you promptly ignored. The next thing, though, pushed all of the sleepiness out of your body, making your eyebrows shoot up your forehead in surprise.

You and Billie had overslept. And you only had about thirty minutes to not only get ready, but also pack all of your things.

You threw your phone away somewhere in front of you rather haphazardly, trying to get out of Billie's grasp completely, but suddenly you couldn't move, her arms just squeezing you tighter. That's how you knew she was finally up, even though she was still trying to fool you with her eyes still closed.

"Billie," you croaked, voice still a bit hoarse. You cleared your throat so that your words came out clearer.

"Billie, hey. We gotta get up. Like, right now." You spoke, still trying to get her arms off of you, but she was rather strong. You really couldn't even be annoyed, already feeling giggles try to escape you. You held them back with all your might.

"Billie, I know you're up and I know that you can hear me. We're gonna be late."

Billie just groaned, eyes still closed. She buried her face into your neck, peppering light kisses here and there, and it took everything in you to not let your eyes flutter closed at the sensation.

"Five more minutes?" Billie asked, her morning voice low and attractive as ever, a wave of heat washing over you at the sound of it.

"I'm sorry, Bils. If we want to leave here on time we kinda need to go, like, now." You replied, but there was no actual harshness in your tone, just lighthearted urgency.

"But I want you to stay here forever." She spoke, her words coming out more like tired mumbles. You couldn't hold back your chuckles anymore, rolling your eyes at how dramatic she was.

"We'll get plenty of other opportunities to sleep in, I promise you."

"How about three more minutes?" Billie said, attempting to negotiate, not at all worried about the possibility of being late.

You laughed. At that moment, a cruel idea popped into your mind. "Billie, if you don't let me go now, you won't get a good morning kiss."

With a speed that was almost comical, Billie's arms loosened. "Oh my god. That's evil. You win."

You smiled to yourself triumphantly, finally dragging yourself out of bed.

"Figured that would work," you said, finding your clothes that were scattered about the room. As you were bending over to pick up your filthy, discarded underwear, you heard the telltale sound of the blankets rustling.

"Goddamn," you heard Billie mutter, and you when you straightened back up, you saw that she was sitting up now, her eyes unashamedly taking in every inch of you. "I could really get used to this."

You rolled your eyes yet again, picking up your sleep shorts that were also on the ground and throwing them in her direction.

"Get up, Billie. Your good morning kiss is still at risk."

Billie threw up her hands defensively. "Okay, okay. I'm getting up." She spoke, staying true to her words and finally stepping out of bed. She walked over to you first, standing in front of you in all of her glory with her adorably messy bed-head, looking at you expectedly.

Wordlessly, you gave Billie that kiss she wanted, even going as far as to make the silly muah sound, loud and dramatic.

Pulling away, you admired how Billie’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, fully beaming. You playfully shook your head.

"You're ridiculous." You said, but of course, there was no actual bite to your words.

"Isn't that why you love me?" Billie retaliated, smirking proudly.

"Yeah, I guess," You joked, shrugging your shoulders for the bit. "Now let's hurry up before Ava and Jane yell at us."

Funnily enough, you didn't actually have to worry about Ava and Jane yelling at either of you, because when you and Billie finally finished freshening up, getting ready at record speed, you both walked into a surprisingly empty living room, the two sisters nowhere to be found. You were fully expecting the two of them to already be waiting at the door, Jane with crossed arms and Ava tapping her foot impatiently.

Billie was first to comment on this, letting out a scoff before speaking. "See? We could've slept in for five more minutes. Those slowpokes aren't even ready yet." She spoke, setting her packed suitcase aside and plopping down on the couch.

You chuckled, plopping down next to her. There wasn't an ounce of personal space between you and her, your thighs and shoulders touching.

"Whatever. We needed to get up, anyway. I'm sure they'll be ready any minute now."

"Well, they better hurry, because I'm starving." Billie said, her hand just casually resting on your thigh like it belonged there.

"What are you hungry for?" You inquired.

"Um… let's see…" Billie trailed off as she thought, a natural silence filling the space between you two. But at some point, when you glanced at her first, you couldn't help but notice the way that a small grin was slowly taking over her features, her bottom lip going in-between her teeth, a sign that she was ready to tease you about something.

"What the hell are you thinking about over there?" You urged, already holding back a smile yourself.

"Well… I just wondering… are you on the menu, by any chance?"

All you could do was sigh in expaseration, but there was nothing but fondness in your eyes, regardless. "Billie, shut up."

Billie just gave you a smile bright enough to rival the sun.

"Make me shut up." She spoke, only stoking the flames even more.

"Do you know what you're asking for?" You playfully threatened, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, I've got a pretty good idea."

"You are so annoying."

"Who do you think I get it from?"

"Hm, I don't know…" you grinned mischeviously. "Your brother?"

Billie's jaw dropped in a mix of shock and mock offense. You hid your giglges behind your hand.

"Come here." Was all Billie said, quickly reaching for you and pulling you toward her lap. You gave in immediately, allowing yourself to be positioned on top of her, eagerly cupping both sides of her face as you two closed the distance, faces meeting halfway. There was more heat behind this kiss than the one shared this morning, both of your lips parting almost instantly upon coming in contact, tongues sliding against each other in a way that was a bit too lewd given where you both were, but the rational part of your brain was already shut off.

But unbeknowst to either of you, Ava and Jane had snuck in, bags packed, blissfully unaware that they would be walking into an intimate moment.

"Oh shit." Jane suddenly spoke, and the sound of her voice immediately caused you to fling yourself off of Billie, wiping your mouth in a desperate attempt to hide the evidence even though you already knew it was too late. Billie, however, was just casually straightening out her shirt, no urgency or embarassment in her movements at all.

"Jesus—what took you two so long?"

Ava was too busy dying laughing to answer. "We—we were busy talking." Jane said, her voice teetering on the edge of laughter as well.

"About?" Billie chimed in.

"About how much money I owe her."

You looked at her, quizzically. "What?"

Ava finally calmed down, butting in. "Jane and I bet that you two would get together by the end of this trip. She didn't think it would happen, but I did, so now she owes me fifty dollars."

Jane crossed her arms, playfully rolling her eyes at her sister. "Okay, so what, you're right about this one thing."

Ava just flipped her hair, clearly basking in her victory. "I'm right about everything."

"You guys... didn't hear us? Last night?" Billie hesitantly asked.

The two sisters looked at the both of her with an inquisivite look. Ava was the one to question further.

"Hear you…?" She echoed, obviously still confused, but one look at Jane's face told you that she caught on very quickly to what Billie was implying, her eyes widening.

"Oh, wow… you guys… oh my god."

Then, it was Ava's turn for the realizaton to hit her over the head.

"Oh—I'm, uh… happy for you two, I guess. We were totally knocked out so we didn't… uh… hear anything."

You grabbed your bag, hurriedly and awkwardly trying to scooch past them.

"Can we please just go already. I'm mortified." You spoke, warmth flooding your cheeks in embarrasment.

"Okay, okay, let's go," Ava replied, still chuckling to herself.

After the four of you stored your bags away in the trunk in your shared car, preparing for the long road trip ahead, Jane stopped you before you could get in the backseat of the car. Billie was already inside, scrolling through her phone, while Ava was starting the engine.

She spoke in a hushed tone, one that only you could hear.

"Seriously, though. Ava and I are happy for the both of you. It was long time coming. And it was painfully obvious." She said, sincerity in her tone. You still hadn't fully recovered from what had transpired in the living room just moments prior, but any lingering embarrasment was slowly fading away and being replaced with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude toward one of your best friends.

"Thank you, Jane. Really."

She gave you an easygoing smile and a comforting pat on the shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

You thought that would be the end of the teasing until you got into the backseat next to Billie, Ava's voice heard loud and clear.

"By the way—no funny business back there. Hands and lips to yourselves."

a few feet away, billie eilish was a portrait of terrifying composure. there was no flush on her neck, no frantic catch in her breathing. she looked as though she had spent the last twenty minutes in deep, silent prayer rather than leading the preacher’s daughter into a transgression that would make the reverend’s blood run cold. billie reached up, her movements slow and clinical, and tucked a stray lock of her dark, silken hair behind her ear. she adjusted the lapels of her oversized black blazer, the structured wool making her shoulders look sharp and impenetrable. with a quiet, metallic click, she refastened her silver cross necklace, the metal glinting like a warning against her throat.

"you're shaking, evangeline," billie murmured, her voice vibrating with that smooth, youth leader warmth that felt like a mockery in the empty church. she didn't turn to look at her. she didn't need to. she could feel evangeline’s unraveling like a scent in the air. "it’s just a draft. the lord’s house is always a little cold when the sun goes down, isn't it?"

evangeline swallowed hard, the back of her throat tasting like extinguished candle wax. she finally turned her gaze toward the massive oak doors, her heart sinking into her stomach. through the narrow stained glass windows flanking the exit, she could see the gravel parking lot. it was empty. the familiar, rusted silhouette of her father’s truck was nowhere to be found. he had mentioned running errands in the next town over, a trip that would keep him away until long after the evening dew had settled.

the realization hit her like a physical weight. the walk home was three miles of winding, unlit backroads-roads that felt much longer when your skin was still tingling from the hidden, stinging marks of someone’s teeth and your soul felt like it had been scraped raw. she stood there, poised between the altar and the exit, feeling strangely exposed in the very building that was supposed to be her sanctuary. she didn't want to ask. she didn't want to give billie the satisfaction of hearing the tremor in her voice, of admitting that she was once again dependent on the very person who delighted in her ruin.

but the silence stretched, thick and suffocating, until the uncertainty made evangeline’s chest tighten so much she feared she might choke.

billie didn't miss the subtle shift in her stance or the way her eyes lingered on the empty space where the truck should have been. she let out a slow, deliberate sigh. a sound of feigned patience that made evangeline feel about five years old. billie stepped closer, her heels clicking sharply against the floorboards, a predatory sound that echoed up into the rafters.

she stopped just inches behind evangeline, not touching her, but close enough that the heat radiating from her blazer felt like a brand. "he’s not coming back for another hour, at least," billie whispered, leaning down so her breath brushed against the shell of evangeline’s ear. "and you look far too... messy to be walking the main road, sweetheart. what would the neighbors think if they saw the preacher’s daughter with her ribbons undone and that look in her eyes?"

billie reached out, her hand finding evangeline’s chin and tilting her face up. her thumb, cold and steady, brushed over evangeline’s lower lip-swollen and bitten, a vibrant, aching contrast to her pale skin. billie’s icy blue eyes searched hers, devoid of the heat that had been there minutes ago, replaced now by a clinical sort of disgust that evangeline knew was just another part of the game.

"get your things," billie commanded, her tone shifting back to the authoritative, polished cadence of the girl the elders adored. "i’ll drive you."

evangeline felt the familiar, sickening coil of guilt and longing tighten in her gut. she was a girl made of sunday school lace and quiet obedience, and as she looked into billie’s freezing gaze, she realized she wasn't just losing her ride home. she was losing her way entirely, guided into the dark by a girl who wore a cross but served a much hungrier god.

the interior of billie’s car was a sharp, modern contrast to the ancient wood and stone of the church, yet it felt even more like a cage. the air here was heavy with the scent of expensive leather and the faint, lingering trail of billie’s perfume. something dark and woody that seemed to coat the back of evangeline’s throat. as they pulled out of the gravel lot, the tires humming a low, mournful tune against the asphalt, the only light came from the dim glow of the dashboard and the occasional flicker of a passing streetlight.

evangeline sat rigidly in the passenger seat, her hands clasped tightly in her lap to hide the way they still wanted to reach out. every time billie shifted gears, her arm brushed against the sleeve of evangeline’s dress, and the contact felt like a live wire. a reminder that despite the clinical distance billie had established back at the altar, the electricity between them was still humming, raw and dangerous.

the silence in the cabin was a living thing, expanding until it felt like it might crush the air right out of evangeline’s lungs. she turned her head slightly, her body instinctively seeking even a sliver of the heat billie was currently withholding. she watched the sharp line of billie’s jaw, the way her hands gripped the steering wheel with a relaxed, terrifyingly easy kind of control.

"why do you do this?"

the question slipped out before evangeline could filter it, her voice a fragile, frayed thread in the quiet cabin. she immediately regretted the sound of it. the way it betrayed the frantic searching of her heart. she quickly looked back toward the windshield, watching the skeletal trees of the backroads blur into a dark, continuous smudge.

"why me?" she murmured, the words hanging in the air like thick, suffocating incense. "do you… do you do this with other girls? is this just another part of the ministry for you?"

the word jealousy wasn't spoken, but it sat between them like a bitter, poisonous fruit. it was a sharp, stinging sensation that made evangeline’s throat feel tight, a possessive ache that made her stomach twist. she hated herself for it. she was the preacher’s daughter, meant to be a vessel of selfless, divine love, yet here she was, spiraling into a very human, very ugly greed for the attention of a girl who only ever used her as a footstool for her own ego.

the car fell into a deep, agonizing silence. billie didn't flinch. she took a slow, deliberate turn, the car leaning into the curve with a grace that mirrored her own. for a long, harrowing moment, evangeline thought she might be ignored entirely or dismissed as the "pathetic girl" billie had called her back in the vestry.

then, the sound came. a soft, dark chuckle that didn't reach her eyes, the kind of laugh that always preceded billie’s most cutting, soul stripping observations. it was a sound that made the hair on evangeline’s arms stand up.

"jealousy," billie mused, rolling the word around in her mouth as if it were a delicious, forbidden secret. she finally turned her head, the passing light of a streetlamp catching the icy, translucent blue of her eyes for a split second, pinning evangeline to her seat more effectively than her hands ever could. "how very unsaintly of you, evangeline. i thought we were working on your pride, but it seems we’ve stumbled into one of the deadlier ones, haven't we?"

she didn't look back at the road immediately. she let her gaze linger on evangeline’s flushed face, her expression one of amused, clinical observation.

"you want to know if there are others," billie continued, her voice dropping to that low, velvety register she used when she wanted to make evangeline feel like the only person in the world and the most insignificant. "you want to know if i’ve pressed anyone else into the choir pews until they started reciting my name instead of their prayers. you’re looking for a reason to feel special, aren't you, ev? you want to believe that even if this is a sin, it’s a sin i only want to commit with you."

billie returned her eyes to the road, a small, mocking smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. she reached out one hand, not to hold evangeline’s, but to tap a rhythmic, taunting beat against the steering wheel.

"it’s a dangerous question to ask a girl like me," billie whispered. "because the answer doesn't matter. whether there are ten others or just you, the result is the same. you’re the one sitting in this car. you’re the one who can’t stop looking at me. and you’re the one who’s going to have to walk into that parsonage and look your father in the eye, wondering if he can smell me on your skin."

she let the words sink in, the psychological weight of them pressing down on evangeline until she felt small, messy, and entirely possessed.

"you're the only one who knows how to be this quiet while you're falling," billie murmured, her voice a low, gravelly vibration that seemed to settle directly into the marrow of evangeline's bones.

the lie was so thin it was almost transparent, a fragile, trembling shield evangeline held up to protect the last of her dignity. she kept her head bowed, staring with a sudden, frantic intensity at the intricate stitching of her bag, refusing to let billie see the way her eyelashes fluttered or the way her chest heaved with a shallow, unsteady breath. she felt the weight of her father’s expectations, the weight of the church, and the weight of billie’s icy gaze all pressing down on her at once.

"m’not falling," she whispered. the words were so small they seemed to dissolve into the expensive leather upholstery before they could even reach the driver’s side. she tried to inject a note of defiance into it, a spark of that quiet strength she usually carried through the church pews, but it came out sounding more like a plea for billie to believe her or perhaps a plea to believe herself. "i can stop. i can stop whenever i want."

for a moment, the only sound was the rhythmic, hypnotic hum of the tires against the wet asphalt. evangeline waited for the scoff, for the mocking laugh, or for billie to simply ignore the lie with the bored detachment she usually reserved for those she found beneath her.

instead, the car swerved with a sudden, violent grace as billie slowed down, pulling into a quiet, overgrown side street that bled into the darkness away from the main road to the parsonage. the change in momentum made evangeline lurch forward, her heart leaping into her throat, and before she could steady herself, billie’s hand was there. it wasn't a gentle catch. it was a firm, grounding pressure that slammed against evangeline’s thigh, her fingers digging into the cream-colored fabric with just enough strength to remind her exactly who held the reins.

"is that so?" billie asked. her voice had dropped into a low, dark purr that seemed to vibrate through the floorboards and settle in evangeline’s very marrow. she didn't look at the road anymore. the car sat idling in the shadows, the headlights cutting two lonely paths into the trees. she looked only at evangeline, her eyes tracing the curve of the girl’s jaw and the downward, defeated tilt of her head with a predatory hunger.

"then why are you trembling, evangeline?" she challenged, her thumb beginning to trace a slow, punishing circle against the girl’s skin. a movement that was clinical, repetitive, and entirely devastating. "if you're so in control, why is your heart trying to escape your chest? why do you look at me like you're starving and im the only thing in this god fearing town that can feed you?"

the space in the car felt like it was shrinking, the oxygen disappearing as billie leaned closer. her shadow engulfed evangeline, blocking out the dim, artificial glow of the dashboard until there was nothing left but the scent of billie’s perfume and the cold heat of her presence.

"don't do that," billie whispered, her breath warm and smelling of mint against evangeline’s cheek, a sharp contrast to the freezing words she spoke. "lie to the congregation if you must. lie to your father while you’re pouring the communion wine. but don't lie to me."

she leaned in until her lips were brushing the shell of evangeline's ear, her voice barely a breath, yet louder than any sermon evangeline had ever heard.

"you aren't falling, sweetheart," billie hissed, a mocking smirk tugging at her lips as she felt evangeline shudder beneath her touch. "you're already on your knees. you’ve been there since the moment i walked into your father’s study, and we both know you aren't planning on getting up anytime soon."

she let the silence hang there, heavy and incriminating, forcing evangeline to sit in the ruins of her own hollow defiance. billie didn't pull away- she stayed there, looming over her, waiting for the girl to realize that in this car, just like in the vestry, there was no such thing as an equal fight. there was only the predator, and the lamb who had forgotten how to run.

evangeline turned her head sharply toward the window, the movement so sudden it made the delicate lace of her collar chafe against her neck. she pressed her forehead against the cool, unyielding glass, desperate for the physical chill to numb the feverish heat billie had ignited. in the dark reflection of the passing trees and flickering streetlights, she saw a ghost of herself. eyes too wide, hair too messy, a version of evangeline hollis that didn't belong in the light. she couldn't bear to look back at the driver's seat. not when billie had just systematically stripped away every defense she owned, leaving her raw and shivering in the wake of a truth she wasn't ready to name.

through the glass, the parsonage finally drifted into view. it looked like a postcard of peace. the familiar, sloping silhouette of the roof, the warm, golden glow of the porch light, and the quiet sanctity of a home where she was supposed to be the anchor. it felt like a completely different world. one where she didn't have the taste of candle wax in her mouth or still feel the weight of a hypocrite’s hand on her leg.

the distance between the car and that front door felt like a treacherous, bottomless canyon. evangeline wanted to be there, safe in her own bed, wrapped in the familiar textures of her childhood and the quiet of her own thoughts, far away from the heavy, commanding presence of the girl beside her. but the closer they got, the more the house looked like a courtroom.

billie slowed the car, the engine idling with a low, impatient rumble as she pulled up to the curb a few houses down, keeping them draped in the safety of the shadows. the silence returned, but it was no longer the awkward quiet of a ride home. it was stagnant and thick, like the atmosphere in the sanctuary right before the heavens break open.

"we’re here," billie said. her voice was devoid of its usual mocking lilt. it was just a statement. flat, final, and cold. she didn't unbuckle her seatbelt, and she didn't tell evangeline to get out. she simply sat there with her hands resting loosely on the steering wheel, her icy blue eyes fixed on evangeline’s profile against the window, waiting with a predator’s patience to see if the girl would finally break.

the car felt smaller now, the air between them turning to lead. evangeline didn't reach for the door handle. she didn't even unbuckle. instead, she curled inward, pulling her leather bag against her chest like a physical shield to protect her heart from further scrutiny. her knuckles were white, her fingers digging into the worn leather until they ached.

she had so many things she wanted to scream. she wanted to tell billie that she was still in control, that she wasn't just a project to be dismantled and discarded. she wanted to admit that the jealousy she’d felt wasn't a whim, but a terrifying realization of how much of her soul she had already handed over. but the words felt too heavy, too unrefined to let loose. she swallowed them down, letting them settle in her throat like a bitter, jagged stone.

a weary, ragged sigh finally broke from her. the sound of a girl who had officially run out of places to hide. evangeline didn't look at the house anymore. she looked down at her lap, her shoulders slumped under the crushing weight of the secret she was carrying.

"i can't get myself to walk inside... or look at my mother’s face," she admitted, the words feeling shameful as they left her lips. the thought of her mother’s kind, unsuspecting eyes, the eyes of a woman who believed her daughter was a pillar of grace. made her stomach churn with a sudden, sharp nausea.

then, she did something brave. she lifted her head, forcing herself to meet that icy, unblinking blue gaze.

"how do you do it?" evangeline asked, her voice gaining a sliver of desperate strength. "how do you live like this? how do you walk into that church every sunday and act like you aren't... like you aren't everything you just did to me?"

billie didn't flinch. she didn't look guilty, and she certainly didn't look like she was struggling with a crisis of conscience. she sat there, perfectly poised, the very image of a girl who had mastered the art of the hollow soul. she leaned in just a fraction, her silver cross catching the dim dashboard light.

"it's easy, ev," billie whispered, her lips curling into a tiny, devastating smirk. "i just remember that the version of me they love doesn't actually exist. and the version of you that i just had on that pew? that’s the only one that’s real."

the air in the car felt like it had been sucked out, replaced by a vacuum of cold, clinical indifference. billie’s words hadn't just been a remark; they had been an execution of the girl evangeline worked so hard to be. for a heartbeat, the silence was absolute. then, something inside evangeline finally snapped. a clean, sharp break that didn't feel like falling, but like a sudden, violent awakening.

"i want you to leave, eilish," she snapped.

the name left her lips like a challenge, sharp and unyielding. using her surname felt like slamming a heavy, iron gate between them. a formal, cold barrier that stripped away the "billie" she’d whispered in the dark. it was the most unevangeline thing she had ever done. she was usually a creature of softness and quiet contemplation, but now she was blunt, her voice stripped of every shred of submission.

billie’s eyebrows flickered upward, a shadow of genuine surprise crossing her icy features, but evangeline didn't give her the chance to speak. before billie could offer a rebuttal, before she could use that low, melodic voice to pull her back into her orbit, evangeline grabbed her leather bucket bag and shoved it against her chest. she held it like an anchor, like a shield, her knuckles white as she gripped the worn material.

"and i don't want to do this again," she added, her voice trembling. not with the fear of billie, but with a desperate, frantic need to reclaim the fragments of her own soul. "i don't want to see you. not in the vestry. not in this car. not at all."

she didn’t wait for billie’s permission. she didn’t wait for the "amen" to the sermon billie had been preaching all night. evangeline unbuckled her seatbelt with a sharp, mechanical click, yanked the door handle, and stepped out into the cool evening air.

the transition was jarring. the night air was crisp and smelled of damp earth and pine, a world away from the leather and predatory heat of the car’s interior. she didn't look back. she walked toward the parsonage with a forced, rigid purpose, her legs feeling heavy, as if she were wading through water. her skin was still humming with the lingering dampness of her shame, the places billie had touched feeling like brands she was trying to walk away from.

she kept her gaze fixed strictly on the path ahead, staring at the gravel and the blades of grass illuminated by the porch light, refusing to cast even a single glance over her shoulder. she was terrified that if she looked, she would see billie watching her, see that smug, knowing smirk, and she would crumble all over again.

behind her, the car engine remained idling, a low, rhythmic pulse in the quiet street. it sounded like the breathing of a beast that wasn't finished with its meal. even without looking, evangeline could feel those icy blue eyes on her back. heavy, judgmental, and entirely too knowing. she could almost hear the silent, amused chuckle drifting through the glass, as if billie knew that this declaration of independence was just another move in a game she had already won.

evangeline reached the porch, her hand fumbling for the door handle. she stepped inside the house, the warmth of her home feeling like a lie, and closed the door behind her. only then did she hear the low growl of the engine as the car finally pulled away, leaving her alone in the silence of her father’s house, stained and shivering in the light.

You had taken three painstaking hours getting ready. Showering, shaving, doing your hair, makeup, your mom zipping up your dress. A long, flowy blue dress that went with the theme of the night. Midnight sky.

You had your hair in a half up, half down, curled and set with hairspray. Your expensive perfume sprayed all over, making you smell like the equivalent of a flower garden.

Billie was standing in the living room, the bouquet she got you and the corsage in her hands. Her hair hung loosely, straightened—forcefully by Maggie—and a nice, smooth suit on. Her tie matching your dress perfectly.

You carefully walked down the steps in your heels, laughing as your mom helped you down. You held onto her hand, before finally stepping down to the bottom floor. Your eyes instantly found Billie’s, and you saw the light flash in them.

She felt like she was looking at the sun. You were absolutely breathtaking, because you certainly took hers. She swallowed thickly, nervous like it was your first date all over again. She slowly stepped closer, her voice quiet.

“Baby… Jesus, look at you… like a real dream.”

She was completely breathless. You took her breath away in one quick swoop. She took your hand in her free one, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

You couldn’t help but giggle, shrugging your shoulders up at the compliment.

“I have the effect on people.”

You said smugly, making her roll her eyes. She handed you your bouquet, which you took gratefully. You held out your hand for her, and watched her carefully slip the corsage onto your wrist. She adjusted it, before kissing your knuckles once more.

“Now… I believe you have something for me as well?”

She asked, like this wasn’t tradition. You rolled your eyes, before pulling out your boutonniere that you picked out. You carefully clipped it to her vest, before smoothing it out.

“There. Now we match.”

You said, a wide smile on your lips.

And then—pictures. Your mom dragged you outside to the porch, taking out her old camera to snap pictures of you and Billie. You complained multiple times, desperately just wanting to get into the limo and to the venue where prom was being held.

You only heard Billie chuckle, but when you turned to look at her with a hard look, she instantly smothered it.

It took twenty minutes to pry your mom away, before slipping into the limo. You let out a small sigh in relief, practically collapsing against the limo. You leaned against Billie, taking her hand in yours.

“Hey, don’t get all sleepy now. We still have a full two hours.”

Billie teased softly, gently tilting your head up. She placed a soft kiss on your lips, stealing some of the lip gloss that covered your lips.

“Maybe I wouldn’t if my mom wasn’t insistent on getting ten thousand pictures before prom even started.”

You grumbled, but kissed her back. Softly.

When the limo pulled up to the venue, all your friends were there. Their boyfriends were fixing their boutonnières, while all your friends were huddled for pictures. And before you knew it—you slipped away with your friends, squealing and hugging each other, while Billie went up to all her friends from the football team.

These were the pictures you didn’t mind. They were with your friends—the people you loved and cherished. And half because the poses weren’t insanely awkward.

But eventually, you all made it into the venue, and found a table that fit all of your friends and their boyfriends, and Billie. Claiming it with your purses, before rushing off to the dance floor and all dancing together. Lights flashing, music beating into the wall.

You found Billie standing off to the side a half an hour later, a plastic cup in her hand. You came up behind her, giggling as you wrapped your arms around her waist.

“Jesus—“ she screamed, but it was barely audible over the blasting music. She turned to look at you, eyes wide and hand clutching her chest. “God, baby, I thought I was going to have to sucker punch a bitch.”

You only giggled, looking up at her with soft, loving eyes.

“C’mon, you’re not standing around all night.”

“Baby, you know I’m a horrible dancer.” She retaliated, already trying to pull away.

“No, you’re not.” You pulled her over to the dance floor.

“Yes, I am, baby. You saw last year, I’m a horrible worm dancer.” She stumbled after you.

“Well, good thing you don’t have to do the worm.” You said, plucking the drink from her hand and tossing it into the nearby trash can.

“I was drinking that—“

“And now you’re not. You’re dancing.”

You pulled her into the large crowd, hidden between bodies that didn’t care about your presence, and you held onto her hands tightly.

“Just be here with me. Please, Billie.” You asked, and used those pleading puppy eyes you always used when you wanted something to go your way.

Billie broke instantly. She was an easy woman with you. She sighed, before she began to dance with you. Awkwardly, at first, before she loosened up, laughing as you both danced with each other.

It was like that for a while, dancing and screaming the lyrics of the songs playing. Sometimes stopping to grab a bottle of water, before immediately running back to your place on the dance floor.

It wasn’t until the hour and a half mark when the speakers cut. You and Billie were confused, until—

“We’re so grateful you are all here tonight, Seniors! But before anyone goes home, we’d like to announce the prom King and Queen of the night!”

Your heart raced. You and Billie had both submitted for Queen—you—and King—Billie. You both had only done it for fun, and didn’t expect anything from it. But it still made your heart race.

You grabbed onto Billie’s hand, but didn’t look over at her. You were both silently hoping for the title, but weren’t exactly expecting it. It was just a title, but it was Senior year. It would be amazing to see you guys up on the stage, but you didn’t let your hopes up.

“Alright! For our prom King, we have…” The tension was high as the principal pulled open an envelope, and you saw her eyes widening for a moment.

“Well, this is new. Our prom King of this year’s Seniors is Billie O’Connell!”

You froze. There was no way this was real. You looked over to Billie, and instantly jumped.

“You got prom King! You got it, baby!” You squealed, hugging Billie tightly. Billie only chuckled, before slowly pressing a kiss to your forehead, and making her way onto the stage.

The workers helped put on the plastic crown and the sash, which spelled ‘Prom King’ in the school colors. You smiled up at her from the dance floor, clapping as everyone else did.

“Alright! And now, for this year’s Prom Queen!” The principal announced, grabbing the separate envelope and slowly opening it. The tension was high, girls whispering around, quietly saying it would be them.

But then—your name. You were called from the microphone. You froze—you got Prom Queen. You and Billie both got Prom King and Queen. You stood there in shock for a moment, before one of your friends pushed you, making you snap out of your daze.

You quickly made your way up to the stage, and you were smiling like an idiot. The employees placed the tiara on top of your head, and the sash across your chest. You beamed up at Billie, giggling like you were little freshmen again.

“Well, don’t you look dazzling in a tiara.”

Billie said, walking over to you and gently pulling you against her chest. She gently brushed a stray curl away from your face, humming softly.

“Well, you look amazing in a crown.”

You said, a smile on your lips. You heard the principal calling your names, making you turn. You both smiled for the photo, before quickly turning back to each other.

It wasn’t planned. It was a surprise to both of you, and it was nice. It was nice and felt amazing to have the tiara lying across your head, and see the frown perched on Billie’s.

You were both guided down to the dance floor together, and a slow dance song came on. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes—a slow dance was not in Billie’s specialties. Tackling, running, yes. Dancing? Not so much.

Billie grumbled, but slipped an arm around your waist. She pulled you against her, and holding your other hand out into the air. She pulled your faces close, and slowly began to sway with you.

“Damn, baby, when did you learn to dance?”

You giggled, one arm around her neck as she slowly guided the dance.

“Videos. Ever since you submitted us for King and Queen. Just in case.”

She said softly, looking down at you with a small smile. It wasn’t a huge grand gesture, but it was something that made you feel important. Something that instantly struck your heart. You smiled, before leaning your head on her chest.

It was dark by the time you pulled up to the diner. It was empty as you entered, tiara tilted slightly, giggles ringing out between you and Billie. Your dress was wrinkled, but you didn’t care.

You munched down on your food, absolutely starving. You refused to eat since breakfast, wanting to make sure you still fit into the dress. And now, you were chowing down, moaning at each delicious bite.

“Jesus, baby, it’s all yours. You can calm down.”

Billie laughed, handing you a couple of napkins.

You wiped at your face, taking some makeup with it. You barely cared anymore. You were just happy to have food in your stomach again. You let out a sigh, leaning back and patting your now full stomach.

“That… was delicious. I need to come here more. Maybe this can be our next date—“

Your words were cut off with a loud burp, making yours and Billie’s eyes widen. You both stared at each other for a moment, before promptly bursting into laughter.

“Yeah, we should come here for our next date—“

Billie mocked, fauxing her own burp. You both bursted into even more laughter, both of your faces turning bright red at how much you were laughing.

Eventually, your laughs simmered down to soft giggles, looking over at each other with soft smiles.

“Okay, burp lord, it’s time to go home.”

Billie said softly, moving out from the booth and gently taking your hand. She led you both over to the front counter, pulling out her wallet to pay.

You leaned against her shoulder, nuzzling into the fabric and yawning. You felt your eyes begin to droop, letting out a soft sigh as you saw the card being handed back to Billie.

You let her lead you back into the car, and settle you down into the passenger seat.

“Go to sleep, princess. I’ll wake you when we get home.” ⋆. 𐙚 ̊

ׂ╰┈➤ guys look it’s Ally actually getting out of her slump for once !! Ultra rare find

The studio in Billie's LA house felt like a cocoon of creativity and quiet intensity, tucked away in the sprawling modern home she called her sanctuary. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked the twinkling city lights, but heavy curtains were drawn, keeping the outside world at bay. Inside, the air hummed with the faint scent of incense and fresh coffee, mixed with the subtle musk of long hours spent chasing perfection. The grand screen set up dominated the space, its polished black surface reflecting the soft amber glow from the desk lamps. Posters of Billie's past tours and album covers adorned the walls, a testament to her empire, while scattered notebooks and a half-empty bottle of water cluttered the nearby table.

You'd arrived that afternoon, nerves buzzing like the synth lines in the track you were building together. As industry colleagues, your paths had crossed at industry events—quick hellos at the Grammys, nods during producer meetings—but this was different. This was intimate, collaborative, just the two of you hammering out a song that blended her edgy vocals with your piano-driven melody. The track was sultry, pulsating with a rhythm that demanded precision, especially from the keys. You'd been at it for what felt like eternity, your fingers aching from repeated attempts, but every run-through ended in frustration. The notes slipped, the timing fractured, and the whole piece fell apart.

Billie lounged against the edge of the piano, her black hair falling in loose waves over her forehead, those striking blue eyes fixed on you with a mix of amusement and impatience. She wore her usual oversized aesthetic—a baggy black hoodie that swallowed her slim frame, loose sweats that hung low on her hips, and chunky sneakers kicked off by the door. At 24, she carried an effortless cool, but up close, there was a raw energy about her, something magnetic that made the room feel smaller.

"Alright, let's take it from the bridge again," she said, her voice that signature low rasp, laced with a teasing edge. She pushed off the piano and paced a slow circle around you, hands tucked into her pockets. "You're overthinking it. The rhythm isn't in your head—it's in your body. You gotta feel it, like it's breathing through you."

You nodded, wiping sweat from your brow, and positioned your hands over the keys. The melody started strong in your mind: a steady pulse building to a crescendo, evoking late-night drives through the city, hearts racing in sync. But as you pressed down, your timing wavered. A note hung too long, another came too soon, and the whole sequence crumbled into dissonance. You slammed your palm lightly on the wood in defeat, exhaling sharply.

Billie stopped pacing, her smirk widening as she leaned in close, her breath warm against your shoulder. "See? Too stiff. You're like a robot trying to dance. Loosen up, yeah? Let me help you find the groove." Her tone was playful, almost mocking, but there was an undercurrent of something hotter, more insistent. Before you could respond, her hands were on your hips, firm and guiding, steering you to bend forward over the piano bench. The cool surface of the keys brushed your forearms as you braced yourself, heart pounding not just from the failure but from the sudden proximity.

"Billie, what are you—" you began, voice catching as you felt her press against your back. The bulge in her sweats was unmistakable, hard and unyielding, nestling right against the curve of your ass. She was different—everyone in the inner circles whispered about it, but feeling it was another thing entirely. A girl with a cock and balls, thick and ready, hidden under that casual exterior.

"Shh," she murmured, lips brushing your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "I'm gonna show you the rhythm. Trust me, it'll stick this time." Her fingers hooked into the waistband of your skirt, tugging it up slowly, exposing the soft skin of your thighs. The air in the studio felt thicker now, charged, as she slid your panties to the side with a casual flick. You were already damp—frustration and her teasing presence had done that much—and she let out a soft hum of approval.

She freed herself from her sweats, the sound of fabric rustling followed by the heavy drop of her length against your skin. Her cock was impressive—thick at the base, veined along its length, the head flushed and leaking a bead of precum. Her balls hung low, full and swaying slightly as she gripped your hip with one hand. She dragged the tip along your folds, coating it in your arousal, teasing your entrance without mercy. "Look at you, already wet for the lesson," she whispered, voice dripping with that small, dirty tease. "Think you can play while I fuck the beat into this pretty pussy?"

You gasped, gripping the edge of the piano, but nodded, determined to try. With a single, deliberate thrust, she pushed inside, stretching your walls inch by inch. The fullness was overwhelming, her girth filling you completely as she bottomed out, balls pressing flush against your clit. She held there for a moment, letting you adjust, her breath hot on your neck. "That's the intro," she said, starting a slow, measured pump—deep in, slow out, mirroring the song's opening pulse.

Your fingers trembled as you tried to match it, pressing the first notes. The keys responded under your touch, but her movement disrupted everything. Each slide of her cock dragged against your inner walls, sending sparks of pleasure up your spine. She picked up the pace slightly, hips snapping in time with the required rhythm—steady, insistent thrusts that had her balls slapping lightly against you. "Feel that?" she teased, one hand sliding up your side to cup your breast, thumb brushing your nipple through the fabric. "That's the groove. Sync to me."

But you couldn't. The sensation built too fast, her thickness hitting deep with every drive, coiling heat in your core. Your hands faltered, keys clashing as a moan escaped your lips. She didn't stop, pounding steadily from behind, her free hand now gripping your waist to pull you back onto her. The wet sounds of her cock plunging into your pussy filled the studio, mingling with your ragged breaths. Pleasure crested, and your first orgasm hit like a wave—your walls clenching around her shaft, milking it as tremors shook your body. You slumped forward, fingers splaying across random keys, the piano emitting a chaotic jumble.

Billie slowed, but didn't pull out, grinding deep as you rode the aftershocks. "Fail," she said with a chuckle, voice husky from the effort. "Not even close. Restart from the top." She withdrew slowly, her cock slick and shining with your release, a string of your juices connecting you for a moment before snapping. You were panting, thighs quivering, but she gave you no time to recover. Positioning you again—ass up, bent over the bench—she rubbed her tip along your soaked entrance, teasing your swollen folds. "Dripping down your legs. Let's see if you learn."

She thrust back in with ease, the glide smoother now from your wetness. Her balls tapped your skin rhythmically as she resumed the pace, hips rolling in that perfect, unyielding tempo. You braced your hands on the keys, trying harder this time, forcing your fingers to follow the melody. The notes came tentatively—close, but not quite. Her cock filled you over and over, the head nudging that sensitive spot inside, making your focus shatter. "Come on," she urged, breath teasing your ear, "play for me. Or is this pussy too greedy, sucking me in like that?"

The dirty words fueled the fire, and soon your body tensed again. Her thrusts grew firmer, balls smacking with each drive, the friction building unbearably. Your second climax tore through you, stronger than the first—pussy spasming around her length, juices squirting lightly as you cried out, hands pounding the keys in a discordant frenzy. The piano wailed under the assault, the song lost once more.

"Nope," Billie murmured, pulling out with a wet schlick, her cock throbbing visibly, veins pulsing. She stroked herself once, smearing your essence along her shaft, before lining up again. "Restart. You're making me work for it, but fuck, you feel good." Her voice had lost some of the tease, edged with raw desire now, but she kept it light, professional almost, like this was just part of the session.

Third attempt: She sank in deep, the stretch still intense despite your slickness. Her body molded to yours from behind, sweat-slick skin sliding as she began pumping. The rhythm was hypnotic—thrust, withdraw, thrust—her balls heavy against you, swinging with momentum. You managed a full bar this time, fingers dancing in sync for precious seconds, the melody peeking through. But then she shifted her angle, grinding harder, her cock dragging along your g-spot relentlessly. "That's it, almost," she whispered, hand slipping between your legs to rub your clit in slow circles. The added touch was devastating.

Heat pooled low, your breaths coming in gasps as you fought to keep playing. But the dual pleasure overwhelmed—her thumb flicking, cock pounding, balls tapping—and your third orgasm crashed over you. Your pussy clenched vise-like, pulling her deeper as waves of ecstasy pulsed through, leaving you shaking, a keen escaping your throat. Keys blurred under your faltering grip, the music dissolving into noise.

Billie groaned softly, hips stuttering for the first time as your release coated her length. She eased out, giving you a moment to breathe, but her hand stayed on your hip, possessive. "Getting closer, but still a fail. Look at you, cumming so easy. Restart." She plunged back in without warning, the sudden fullness drawing a whimper from you. Your pussy was sensitive now, every inch of her cock sending jolts through your overstimulated nerves.

Fourth round: The pace was the same, always from behind, her chest pressed to your back, one arm wrapping around to steady you. She thrust steadily, balls slapping wetly now from the mess between you. "Feel how your body's learning?" she said, voice low and encouraging, the teasing softened but still there. "Tighten around me like that—match the beat." You tried, syncing a few more measures, the piano's notes flowing smoother, almost capturing the sultry pulse of the track.

But her hand returned to your clit, rubbing firmer, and the building tension snapped. Her cock throbbed inside, stretching you wide with each drive, the head kissing your cervix. Your fourth orgasm built slower but hit harder—body arching, pussy fluttering wildly around her as pleasure bordered on pain, tears pricking your eyes. You screamed softly, fingers slipping off the keys entirely, the bench creaking under your weight.

"Damn," Billie breathed, withdrawing carefully, her cock glistening, balls drawn tight. She was close herself, you could tell from the way she panted, but she held back, ever the teacher. "One more push. You're soaked, pussy begging for it. Restart." She entered you again, the slide effortless, your walls welcoming despite the ache. The studio smelled of sex now, heavy and intoxicating, the air thick with your shared heat.

Fifth attempt: Her thrusts were precise, hips snapping in perfect time, balls colliding with your clit in a rhythm that echoed the song. Sweat dripped from her brow onto your skin, mixing with yours. You focused through the haze, fingers finding the keys, pressing down with renewed determination. Notes emerged—clean, flowing, syncing to her movements. She noticed, a soft "Yes" escaping her lips, her hand on your breast squeezing gently.

But the pleasure mounted relentlessly. Her cock filled you completely, dragging out with a twist before slamming back, her balls heavy and full against you. The friction was too much; your body betrayed you one last time. The fifth orgasm ripped through, intense and shattering—pussy convulsing, milking her shaft as you wailed, but miraculously, your hands stayed true. The piano sang unbroken, the melody soaring in perfect harmony with her final, deep thrusts.

Billie followed seconds later, groaning low as she buried herself to the hilt. Her cock pulsed, hot cum erupting in thick ropes, flooding your pussy, her balls contracting against your skin. She jerked her hips, riding out the release, filling you until it leaked out around her base. You both trembled, the music fading as she stilled, breath ragged.

Slowly, she pulled out, a gush of her seed following, trickling down your thighs. She helped you upright, steadying you with hands on your shoulders, that smirk returning but softer now. Tucking herself away, she met your eyes, pride shining through. "See? I knew you could do it."

The words hung in the air, simple and affirming, as the studio settled into quiet satisfaction. The track was alive now, etched into your bodies as much as the keys. As colleagues, this was just another layer to the collaboration—intense, unforgettable, but professional at its core. Billie grabbed a water bottle, handing it to you with a wink. "Let's record that for real now. No distractions."

But the echo of her rhythm lingered, a secret beat only you two shared.

an; its my first time writting smut, i’m sorry cause it SuCkS so big omg, but i hope you at least enjoyed it. btw, someone, fuck me like that. please and thank you.

she had led you inside, made her friend— which you now know that his name is brayden— roll her a joint, and had flipped on her heel and clicked the door behind her. 

she insisted with a sweet voice and her soft blue eyes that you didn’t have to pay with money, and that there was always another way. she had leaned against her dresser with such smoothness that was so unlike your beady skin and anxious heart, and it didn’t ease your nerves in the slightest. she kept flickering her lighter back and forth, back and forth, and the repeating sensation was enough for you to snap. 

billie, of course, was amused at how nervous you were. it wasn’t like you two hadn’t had sex before— you had, intensely at that. but you weren’t sober then and you were now and the difference was somehow more acute than you thought. 

“you always this nervous,” she had asked you, her eyes more focused on the flickering of her lighter than anything, “or just when you owe me?”

your throat went dry. 

“i told you i would get the money, billie—“ 

“i don’t run a charity, princess. there’s no exceptions for anyone, even my cute customers.” 

she had gotten so close to you now that you involuntarily huffed in the smell of smoke on her hoodie that mixed with a strong vanilla perfume. her eyes darted all over you, hungry and so impatient that her hands began working alongside them, finding home on your waist, and then your ass, and in less than a minute, you were slipped underneath her sheets one again with her nude body pressed against yours. 

after that second time, there wasn’t much to discuss anymore. you and billie had made it official and since you weren’t just her ‘special’ customer anymore, she obviously didn’t ever make you pay for your weed. 

apparently all it took was less than sixty days to lull billie deep into whatever spell you accidentally spilled on her. sixty days of late nights, of your clothes to find themselves hanging in her closet or draped on her floor, of you showing up unannounced so many times that you had basically moved in. sixty days of her hands all over you like you were hers, but you never minded.

and everyone knew that. you weren’t necessarily sure on who ‘everyone’ consisted of, but you weren’t hellbent on knowing. billie had always told you that with her, you would never come into trouble because you were her girl. at the time, it made you question every single thing about the things your girlfriend was really involved with. did everyone she had beef with now have beef with you too? did you share the same group of friends? did she have anything that was ‘shoved under the rug’ that could now be pulled into the light?

you had a lot of questions, but you’d never dare to ask them. it’d be better to be ignorant in bliss than a girl with a head full of answers with a bullet right behind it. 

in present time, you sat on billie’s bed, in her clothes with a bag of her snacks, pretending to be scrolling aimlessly on your phone. she’s perched at her desk just a few feet away, counting cash and bagging her weed. though it was obviously illegal, you loved watching her do it. there was something so irresistible about looking at her package her weed up, push her money aside, and the way she’d blow air upwards to push a strand out of her face when she was focused. 

the videos on your phone fall silent as you let yourself stare. the quiet finally reaches billie and she turns in her chair to look at you with an eyebrow cocked. 

“got something to say?”

you hesitate for a second. you had an idea– one you knew she’d hate the second you let the syllables fall from your lips, but it was worth a try. 

“i could help you…you know.” you muster up, shifting on billie’s comforter in attempt to make yourself somewhat more comfortable with your statement. you knew it’d be a hard no, but in your mind, the logic was simple. being her girlfriend means that by association, you're on whatever she’s on. if you’re going to be dragged into it as an accomplice, might as well go all the way, right?

your words make billie pause. she’s still looking at you, but then her lips curl and it doesn’t take long for her to burst into a fit of laughter. like– genuine laughter, and it almost angers you. she’s too busy cracking herself up to realize that you’re being completely and utterly serious. 

and when she finally does notice, there’s another pause. 

“no.”

yeah, well, you did expect that. you thought that she’d might want to elaborate on her answer a little more, but that would mean that you were an idiot and someone cloned your girlfriend. 

when it came to her ‘business,’ she never really explained much. everything was an errands or just something to be taken care of, and every bruise was a situation that was handled accordingly. you’ve learned not to ask and definitely not to tell under any circumstances, so for your sake, all of it hardly exists after it happens. 

you shift positions again, blinking quietly. “baby, why won’t you let me explain–”

“you’re not getting involved in that. no.” the black-haired girl repeats, much sharper this time. and of course, she doesn’t explain her answer.

a frown finds you, and you adjust your seating again, persistent as your arms cross around your chest. “why not? i see it everyday, it’s not much different. either way i’m still here and involved.”

“that’s not the same.”

“how?”

you hear billie exhale through her nose, visibly annoyed now, as if it’s obvious as to why she’s saying no with no sort of reasoning to back it. 

“because i said so.”

you scoff. like that’s a better answer. you wish you had never asked at this point, because you already knew what she would’ve said before it even became a conversation. but you were also adamant on the subject– you’re around the business all day every day. maybe not directly, but you’ve seen billie and brayden do enough of their dirty work to know that it’s one, not something to mess with, and two– something that you have to be all in for. there’s no one foot in, one foot out bullshit with drugs. either you’re dealin’ and you’re one receiving it, or you’re not. 

“that’s not an answer, billie.” you finally speak up, and you know it’ll annoy her a little, but you don’t care. you needed an answer here, and one way or another, you were going to get one. 

“it is when it’s with me, y/n. i have reasons, and the answer for them is no.”

you roll your eyes, though she’s already turned her back to continue what she was doing. “so what? i’m supposed to be your pretty down-ass chick while you risk your life everyday doing this bullshit? i’m your girlfriend, in case you forgot. which means they’d come for my ass anyways if you pull some fuck shit.”

there’s an interlude of quiet, of course. she always thinks before she speaks to you because if she didn’t, she’d probably crash out on you. but this pause isn’t as long as the last one, and when she slouches in her chair and continues actively counting her money, you know whatever she says will end this conversation. 

“i’m not having this conversation with you. this is my shit, so stay out of it. i told you no, and that’s the end of the conversation.”

your jaw drops, mainly to avoid snapping at billie because that would only end badly for you, not for her. you had so much to say and yet nothing came out, and that was probably for the better because by the way billie turned around and walked out of her bedroom with a slammed door that followed, it was clear she wasn’t negotiating.

and she didn’t really have to. when you heard her talking to brayden in the living room and the tv blasting some show, you knew she wasn’t going to came back in for a while. you quickly slipped off of billie’s bed and made your way to her desk where her second phone laid, vulnerable and unlocked. with shaky hands, you clicked her messages app and found brayden’s. 

bingo. 

dealing to alyssa at one seemed easy. serving a girl was less of a threat and by the looks of the other messages you dissected, she lived in a nicer neighborhood, was 18, and played soccer. no way she’d do anything to you, she’s got too much to lose. 

you pulled out your own phone and took some quick pictures before turning billie’s off, shoving yours in your pocket, immediately throwing yourself underneath your girlfriend’s sheets and letting your eyes bore into the wall. 

truth be told, you were anxious. you didn’t think it would be too dangerous, but you’ve only received drugs, and the most you’ve ever dealt to someone was rolling your best friend’s joint for her in the comfort of her own home with the weed you bought her. this was a whole new playing field, and you were both nervous and a little too excited about the whole thing. 

if something did go wrong, billie would kill you thirty times over and probably bring you back to life just to kill you again. but also, if something went right, or at least on schedule, she would still be pissed. either way she would be mad, which was the ointment to ease your guilty conscience. what difference did it make if she wasn’t going to be happy about it either way? 

after half an hour of motionless lounging in billie’s bed, your head turns when you hear the door creek, and it’s her. her sleeves are up and you can smell pasta sauce on her jacket from where she’s standing, which makes you perk up. 

“i made dinner, baby.” she gives you a weak smile, “i’m sorry about earlier, i hate being an ass but i’m serious on this shit. don’t make any stupid decisions, okay? it’s just because—“ 

you wait for her to finish. 

“i care about you.”

you let yourself take pride in a shit-eating grin. you fully sit up, letting your back fall against the headboard.

it’s twelve-twenty one, and you feel like you’re about to shit your pants. 

you’ve got everything you need, at least what you could come up with to the best of your abilities. of course, the weed. it’s in a bag rolled up in your purse underneath your wallet, resting right next to the pepper spray that was still in it’s packaging from your walmart run last night. 

the lie you told billie this morning was that you were going to get your nails done around one, which was half-true. you did want to get them done, right after you sealed the deal with alyssa. you had also finessed your way into getting billie to think she canceled, which was unbelievably harder than you thought— but it was nothing like a few fake messages couldn’t handle. 

you finally get up from your spot on the couch, and thank goodness the house is still. no one’s awake yet, brayden and billie are in their own rooms, and you made sure to park your car behind billie’s so you could quickly leave without her having to get up to move her own. 

you took in the deepest breath you could, held it in until your chest ached, and with an exhale, your keys found themselves in your palms and you sped out of your driveway with quickness. 

unfortunately, music wasn’t enough to calm you down. your purse was open and the contraband was now exposed, and you couldn’t stop staring down at it. you live in california and it’s just a little bit of weed— what could really go wrong here? 

well, ‘alyssa’ could be a code name for ‘super big mafia boss’ who could take your ass out with one swipe to your face. or, you she could jack you and make you lose profit, and billie would really be pissed if you accidentally gave her shit out for free. as much as you’ve had to pay her back in some way, you know she doesn’t play about her cash. 

your gpa takes you into a neighborhood that looks way too nice for your comfort. there’s literal mini-mansions on every corner that your tires turn on, and when you pull up next to alyssa’s, you’re stunned out of your mind. 

it’s got to be at least three stories from what you can tell, and through the windows, it looks like their furniture cost more than any money you’ve ever made in your life. 

you step out and grab your bag, slamming the door shut and flicking your wrist to look at the time. it’s 12:59, and when you look up again, she’s standing right in front of you. 

she looks harmless. 

she kind of looks like she doesn’t have any business doing business like this. kind of like you. 

“billie sent you?” are the first words out of her mouth. 

you look away. you look back at her, and her face is contorted in a way that tells you she’s just waiting to get her shit and go back inside. 

understood. 

“yeah.” you reply, and she immediately eases up. 

“okay, cool,” she gives you a smile, “i was like…i don’t recognize the car. thought you were a murderer or something.” 

you force out a small laugh. half of you wants to back out, but you’ve got something to prove now— that you can do this. you’re already here and it would be much more embarrassing for you to turn around and act like you weren’t pretending to be a drug dealer. 

your hands feel shaky as you reach into your bag, pulling out what you grabbed out of billie’s stash earlier. you try to copy her— the way she moves, the way she doesn’t second guess, her quickness and ease when she’s doing her deals. 

but you’re not billie.

your fingers fumble slightly, and of course, the girl notices.

“you good?” she asks, tilting her head.

“yeah, i’m fine, i’m just…cold.” 

right. you’re cold on a april afternoon in california, because that makes total sense. 

alyssa knows that it doesn’t, and she cocks a brow at you but doesn’t utter a word. you move with a newfound quickness, and shoo the brunette back into her house so that you can turn around and get in the car before you throw up in her freshly-cut bushes. 

you drive off and let siri guide you to the nail shop. you almost made the rash decision to cancel, but coming home way too quick with nail beds that still looked like war zones would throw you off of your lie. so, you let your thoughts roam in hopes that the guilty feelings will subside by the time you walk in the salon. 

you’re pulling into the parking lot when a weird smile crawls onto your lips. you think you did good. it was quick and easy, money for product, one and done. something to rub in billie’s face— that you really could do something she said you couldn’t. 

“that…wasn’t even that bad.” you whisper only to yourself, feeling almost proud that you did that. 

however, that feeling only lasts for less than a couple hours. 

you’re on the way home when an unknown number texts you. 

xxx-xxx-xxxx u with billie? 

your heart literally drops to your ass. suddenly the speed limit is no longer a suggestion, but an overestimation. you’re going ten under just to respond, and you erase and retype at least five messages before finally sending one, playing dumb. 

no…why…?

xxx-xxx-xxxx it’s brayden btw  alyssa texted her 

now you really have to play dumb. and the easiest way to do that is pretend you didn’t see the message. and that works for maybe five minutes, when you’re just making the turn into billie’s neighborhood— another one pops up on your screen. 

the girl u sold to is alyssa btw 

well, fuck. 

you don’t even have time to get out of the car when you pull into the driveway. billie’s already walking to your driver’s side, and you feel yourself shrivel up. there was literally nothing you could do about this except hope that she wasn’t going to literally break your window in out of anger. 

through your tinted lenses, all you hear is your girlfriend demanding you get out of the car and ‘bring your ass inside’, which, obviously wasn’t with the loving connotation that she missed you. 

you don’t remember getting out of the car, what billie said to you on the way in, or how you made it to her living room where brayden was pretending to act like neither of you two were there. you blink, and billie’s standing in front of you, still as a bag of rocks, and that scared you. 

her tone is flat and simple. “what did you do?” 

“nothing…?” lie. a bad one at that. 

“wrong answer.”

you swallow thickly, trying to come up with literally anything to rebuttal with. you’re in deep shit and you know that, but as much as you wished in your head that you could pretend this never happened, it did. and after billie told you no? yeah, you were gonna pay for that. 

“it was just one—“

“you went behind my back.” 

you try and steady yourself. “okay, yes…but it wasn’t some big thing! it was one deal—“ 

“right. one i didn’t send you on. i didn’t even tell you about that shit, so how did you find out?” 

you weren’t prepared for her to ask that. you couldn’t lie now, after betraying her once, you’d probably get a beating and a breakup at the same time. 

“your phone…?”

billie’s jaw immediately tightens and if you weren’t in your right mind, you’d think she’d swing on you right now. her fists ball and then quickly release, and she breathes in heavily before looking you dead in the eyes, “go to my room.” 

you go dead in the eyes. there’s no time to think or talk or do anything except put one foot in front of the other until you’re back in the same situation you were sixty days ago, standing with your back against the wall and a heart that’s refusing to regulate itself. billie slams the door with a force that you’ve never seen her have, and you’re already fumbling trying to come up with something to say. 

she cuts off your thoughts like she could hear them. “you went through my fucking phone?” 

“is that rhetorical? because i feel like i already told you that.”

you close your eyes as soon as the words fall from your lips. with the amount of shit that’s coming from your mouth, your ass might as well talk for you. 

billie’s on you like white on rice, her body pressed right against yours and you’re so close that your noses almost touch. her hands find themselves on your arms and they’re not tight at all, but you can feel them. 

“i love you. i really do, but you’re pissing me the fuck off. just answer the question, y/n, and stop being difficult. did you go through my phone?” 

your hands come up to push the black-haired girl off of you, not hard, but just enough to show her that you’re not messing with her. you’re clearly irritated now— after being around the entire ordeal this entire time, she just wants you to act like you’re her little trophy that just sits next to her while she risks her life? yeah, fuck that. 

“the hell is your problem?” you immediately snap back, and billie just stares at you, almost confused. this entire time, you’ve kept your innermost feelings to yourself. about billie doubting you, not trusting you— you never expressed that to her. but now? you couldn’t contain it any longer. 

“hold on… what’s my problem?” she repeats slowly, “you went through my phone, first of all—“

“i don’t care.” you immediately cut her off. 

it’s silent. 

“you don’t get to decide everything for me,” you say, your voice sharper now. “i’m not your fucking trophy wife that you get to show everyone and then go get yourself in trouble doing whatever the hell this is.i’m not an idiot and i’m not a child, so stop treating me like one.”

billie exhales through her nose, clearly already annoyed but trying to find her composure. 

“you think this is me treating you like a kid?” she snaps back, almost half a second after you, stepping closer. “you went behind my back after i told you no. that’s not being grown, that’s being reckless as—”

“oh my god, there it is again,” you roll your eyes and laugh bitterly, but there’s no humor to shadow it. “you don’t trust me. just say it! just fucking say you don’t trust me instead of acting like i’m the problem every time i open my mouth.”

“i do trust you, babe.” she fires back immediately.

“no you don’t,” you say, voice cracking now but you don’t stop. you’re going off, pointing your finger and waving your hands around, tears welling in the underskirts of your eyes, but you don’t care. “because if you did, you wouldn’t control every single thing i try to do. you don’t want a girlfriend, billie— you want someone who just sits there and listens to whatever the fuck you say and roll with it.” 

there’s silence for a split second before billie immediately claps back. “hold on…you really think this is about you being some kind of equal partner in my shit?”

you bat your eyes at her, “what the fuck are you even talking about?” 

“i thought you had to be joking,” billie dryly laughs, “you actually wanted to like…do this? you did one deal and now you think you’re the shit.” 

something in your chest literally twists. 

“don’t talk to me like that.” you warn, but she’s already started. 

“wanna know what alyssa texted me?” billie continues, almost shrugging, “she told me you were shaking trying to do the deal. it’s just fucking weed, y/n— and if you can’t do that with some harmless teenage girl, what on God’s green earth makes you think you can handle—“ 

you interrupt her. “you really think i’m that useless?” 

“i think you’re delusional.”

yeah, you had enough. your anger has come in waves, but right now you’re so mad that you don’t have time to think. in one swift motion, your hand comes up fast and you slap her.

the sound cracks through the room.

everything goes dead silent. billie immediately looks down, her fingers framing her face from the impact. 

the silence in the room was so heavy it felt physical, like it had snuck it’s way through your ears and into your chest, which was beating so hard you felt like it could’ve jumped out of your body. your palm was stinging and what got you was the fact that you couldn't see her face. her black hair shielded her expression and she wasn’t moving, hell– you didn’t even know if she was breathing.

“i–” you start, yet nothing but a screech comes out. you don’t even know what you were going to say, but whatever you thought you could come up with– it wouldn’t have been good enough. yes, billie pissed you off, and in your eyes, your emotions were valid. however, what wasn’t valid was you slapping your girlfriend in the face. 

after what felt like hours, you watched billie look up at you, her thumb still brushing the spot where you hit her. you expect her to be crying, for her face to be red-hot with anger, but instead, she’s…smiling?

the grin on her face is so surreal that you nearly want to pull your phone out and take a picture, just to make sure you’re not tripping. you hit your own girlfriend and she’s happy about it? 

billie’s pupils are huge and dark, enamored with something that you can’t put your finger on. her eyes study you for a second, and then she’s all over you again, though it’s different from the last time. you aren’t arguing, you aren’t fighting, and her movements are way more deliberate and in control. 

her hand comes up to grip your jaw– not rough enough to hurt, but firm enough to where you know better than to try and move. 

“you’ve got a lot to say today,” she murmurs, eyes flickering all over your face as you just watch her, not even attempting to interrupt her. “all that attitude, all that fucking mouth on you…where did all that come from, hm?”

“you were being mean, billie.” you murmur slowly, so contrast from your actions literally minutes ago. billie’s lips twitch slightly. 

“yeah?” she asks you, leaning into you, “and you thought hitting me was gonna fix that?”

there’s not enough time to answer. her fingers hook underneath the hem of your shirt, and in one swift motion, it’s off of your body and collapses onto the floor like a piece of trash. you feel her lips find your neck, and with every rough, sloppy kiss, a mark is left behind. your back arches off of the wall and a quiet moan passes through your lips as billie aggressively kisses down your body. 

“you get on my nerves so fucking bad.” she breathes, though her lips don’t stop. she’s at your stomach now, her teeth grazing the skin teasingly when she reaches your jeans. 

billie’s on her knees, her chin tucked between your legs when she looks up at you from the floor, and you feel like you could faint right then and there. you breath hitches when she unbuckles your belt, pulling it through the loops and discarding it to the ground, and your pants follow in the same fashion. 

“get on the bed. face down. put your hands behind your back.”

it’s not a suggestion or a question, but a command that isn’t to be strayed from. you obey as soon as she stands up, walking quickly over to her bed and letting yourself fall into the covers. 

the shift in billie’s energy was tectonic. you watched her from a few feet away as she walked over, and you could tell in her face that you were in for a rude awakening. 

ever since you forgot your money for your deals the last time, your sex with billie was sweet. she never rushed you, never pushed you, and always did what you wanted. she was so unlike her regular self, lacking that stoic and firm energy that she always carried wherever she went. but now, it seemed like all of that had faded. 

billie was angry. at you, at the situation, hell– any other pent up anger she had was going to find it’s way to present itself onto whatever she was going to inflict on you. and although it made you slightly nervous, the slickness that was growing in between your legs was undeniable. you had never seen her so aggressive with you in this way. 

“sit up.” she calls from just a few feet away, and you do almost instantly. you feel shy, the comforter hiding your nearly exposed body when billie finally walks over to you, clearly pissed. her jaw is tense and her eyes are fiery when her eyes meet yours. she climbs onto the bed quickly and pulls you up by your wrists, flipping your body to where your face falls into one of her pillows. 

“you don’t fucking listen, that’s your issue.” billie seethes, and you feel her fingers dip into the waistband of your panties. she doesn’t ask, she just hooked her thumbs into the lace and pushed them down, the fabric circling around your ankles. and you don’t protest. 

“i’m tired of hearing your smart mouth. of hearing you whine and complain about everything– so maybe this'll knock some sense into you.” 

it’s so still in the room that you can hear the air propel backwards when billie draws her hand back. you audibly whine before it even comes in contact with your skin, your body literally shaking with nervousness.

slap! 

the first strike of her palm across your ass was a white-hot flash that made your eyes fall spotty. you winced, your back arching as another whimper, louder this time, sounded from your throat. you want to speak but you know that it’ll do little to nothing to get you out of this situation, so you close your eyes as you feel billie’s hand rub your lower back and the curvature of your backside, and the soothing touch was almost mocking. 

slap! slap! slap!

she didn’t stop. the spanking was rhythmic, and horrendously precise. your skin was burning with such a searing heat that made you feel like you were on fire. you were wailing into the pillow now, tears starting to fill your eyes as your voice morphed into high-pitched, pathetic whines as your ‘lesson’ stretched on. 

“i’m sorry billie,” you finally cough out, “i-i am…m’so sorry…”

that doesn’t get you where you think it will. in fact, something in billie snaps. she’s tired of it. tired of hearing your excuses and whines, acting like you’re apologetic when in reality, you weren’t. you were just annoyed at the fact that after everything that just happened, you’re back underneath her, just like you were from the start. 

billie finally flips you to where you’re underneath her, and her fingers fasten against your jaw again– except she’s firmer now, her grip tight. “you’re sorry, princess? oh, i bet you are—“ billie laughs to herself, her grip still firm on your jaw. “bet you’re gonna tell me again and again how you fucked up, how you’re never gonna do it again, blah blah blah. well can i tell you something? i honestly don’t wanna hear that shit.” 

she reaches for the nightstand next to you, and you heard the sound of her unzipping her jeans, the rustling of fabrics, and the tightening of the harness. you’re too scared to even look at her, so you turn around and face the mirror that stands in front of her bed, your head pushed into the mattress as you wait for her. 

you felt billie’s hands settle on your waist, and within seconds, you feel the first thrust, a slow, agonizing stretch as she began to fully fill you up. your pussy was warm and inviting, your arousal coating the thick strap fully as billie slowed fucked into you, your back immediately arching and your eyes fluttering closed. 

she doesn’t give you any more time than that to adjust. you feel her hand snake around your back and onto your throat as she fucks into you with an angry speed, and your body immediately goes limp. the air you attempt to breathe catches itself in your throat when you feel billie’s grip tighten, her nails digging into the flesh of your thighs, and she has absolutely no regard for the pain she’s causing you. 

“look at yourself.” she orders, her fingers detaching from your neck to push your head up, and your eyes focus on your trembling body through the mirror in front of you. you look worn, and it’s pathetic, really– skin hot and furious, tear marks still visible on your cheeks, your hair a complete mess. your fractured visage makes billie smile.

“you wanna be a big girl so fuckin’ bad, hm? you wanna go out and be all sneaky behind my back, and can’t even keep that same energy in front of my face. funny how that works, huh, princess?”

the way she’s fucking you is mean now. it’s sloppy but strong, one of her legs hiked up to hit your cervix at such an angle that makes your eyes well up again. you feel weak, your head dropping as little hiccups and whimpers fall from your swollen lips. 

“m’sorry, mommy, i-i’m so sorry!” you cry out, though you instantly regret it. you watch billie’s hand come up through the mirror, connecting with your ass once again, and it brings all the pain from earlier to the surface. you frown and pull your head down, “billie…s-stop, you’re being mean!”

“you want me to stop?” she asks you mockingly, her thrusts consistent and still equally as immobilizing. “say the word then, princess.”

you don’t speak. 

billie smacks her lips. 

“mhm,” she drags, “that’s what i fuckin’ thought.” 

you let out a dragged moan, billie’s fingers reaching around to toy at your clit, and that’s when you break. your legs shake as you feel yourself start to unravel. the friction of the silicone against your g-spot paired with the rhythmic snapping of billie’s fingers on your clit— it’s all too much. your vision blurs, your reflection in the mirror now just a blob through tears and your flushed sight. 

“i’m— fuck, i’m close, bils!” you cry out, and billie grabs your chin to make your vision focus. 

she knows exactly where you are. she slows down just enough to make you whine, a high-pitched and needy sound that makes her laugh in amusement. 

"beg for it," she whispers, leaning down so her lips are right against your ear, her teeth grazing the lobe. "tell me you’re my girl and you’re never gonna pull that shit again."

"i’m yours," you sob, the confession ripped from your throat as your walls start to pulse around the strap, "i’m yours, billie. i won't— i promise, i won't ever—"

"good girl. look at me while you do it, baby. look at who you belong to while you fall apart.” 

your eyelashes beat against your cheeks as your pussy clenches around billie’s strap, your orgasm hitting you like a freight train. you collapse into the sheets, your skin tingling and your body shaking as your chest heaves. 

after a few more torturingly slow thrusts, billie pulls out of you gently, resting on her back while you stiffenly catch your breath. you’re tired, but not too tired to realize something. 

she won this round, but the sting on your skin is doing something different to your head. you’re fueled, and not by the fact you just got put in your place, but by the fact that you still have a sliver of the same way you felt before. you’re still high on the rush from the slap earlier, the way billie’s eyes blew out when she realized what you had done, and the way you made her feel when she noticed that you weren’t as submissive as she thought. 

“billie?” you whisper, a newfound strength pulling you to sit up and slither next to her legs. 

“mhm?” she hums, hardly even opening her eyes. she reaches out, her hand finding your waist to pull you closer, “go to sleep, m’tired.” 

you don’t go to sleep. instead, you straddle her, your fingers coming up to cradle that reddened spot on her cheek that’s still agitated from where you struck her. 

all of a sudden she isn’t tired.

billie’s eyes flutter open, “what are you doing?”

“you said i couldn’t handle you.” you state, and you don’t give her a chance to respond. your head dips and your lips graze hers, and when she leans in to kiss you, you pull away. 

you hear a quiet whine. it’s so soft that it almost doesn’t register, but when you hear it, you’re elated. billie looks up from underneath you with soft, wide blue eyes, and her newfound submission makes you grow wet. 

“here’s what’s gonna happen,” you start, "since you think i’m such a 'princess' that needs to be put in her place, you’re going to do exactly what i say. don’t talk back.” 

billie’s jaw drops ever so slightly, almost like she wants to say something, but nothing comes out. she looks up at you and the predatory glint in her eyes from just a couple minutes ago has completely vanished, replaced by such a newfound vulnerability that makes your skin hot. she’s still wearing the harness, the weight of her strap resting between her thighs. 

“sit up.” you command and she obeys, her back pressed against the headboard as you grab her shoulders and sink onto the strap. the familiar fullness makes you gasp as you rest fully on the length, and billie doesn’t know what to do with herself. 

“now, fuck me. do it slow. and if i feel you speed up, we’re done. you hear me?” 

“yes ma’am.” billie rasps, her jaw tight as she fights the instinct to hammer into you. she pulls her hips back and thrusts once upwards, slow, and her eyes dart to yours for approval. when a moan passes through your lips, she continues, her hands finding your ass to rest her hand on. 

with the way your skin collides with billie’s, the friction bumps against her clit just enough to make her head hazy. you hear little whimpers fill the air as you ride her, slowly, so slow that it’s almost killing her. 

you lean down to find that sensitive spot on her neck, suckling at the skin so hard that you know it’ll bruise, but that was your motive. you wanted everyone to see it— to see that the nonconfrontational girl she claimed you to be could call the shots too.

you’re mean with it. teeth digging into her flesh, right over all her pulse points that you have memorized like the back of your hand. when you feel billie’s rhythm begin to falter, you immediately stop, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at you. 

“is there a problem?” you ask her, and she shakes her head no fervently. she looks absolutely wrecked, tortured by greed and unsatisfied with the limited ways she’s allowed to touch you. 

you don't say another word. instead, you reach back and grab the base of the strap, guiding yourself as you slowly, agonizingly sink back down onto the silicone. billie lets out a long, broken moan when you slightly speed up, her hips naturally following your lead. 

“just like this.” you order her and she wastes no time adhering to your request. 

"god, baby," billie hitches, her hands twitching on the mattress, desperate to please you but paralyzed by your earlier order. "you're so tight... fuck."

billie lets out a sob-like sound, her pride completely disintegrated. she leans up, her teeth grazing your collarbone, her movements clumsy and desperate as she tries to follow your every command while her own body betrays her. as much as she wants to flip you over and have her way with you, she’s entranced— completely under your control. 

"you’re such a good girl when you actually listen." you whisper in her ear with a chuckle, and you feel the way she unravels beneath you.

"i’ll do anything!" she chokes out, her voice a mere whisper, her face blooming with the heat. "anything you want, please, just don't stop. i need you."

billie looks down at you and lets out a low, guttural moan. the way your pussy swallows the silicone, your slick coating the dildo— her head goes fuzzy, her head falling onto the headboard as she tries to focus on her pacing, but it’s too much. she’s close and you can tell, the pressure from your body creating just enough friction that could tip her over the edge. 

but she needs more. 

it’s subtle, but you still notice. her speed changes and her rhythm alters, her hands roaming all over you in hopes that you’re too caught up in the moment to say anything. 

“what did i say?” you call out firmly and billie whimpers, her head rolling to look at you. “did i say you could speed up?” 

“m’sorry mommy.” billie stammers from underneath you, her eyes frantic and wide. the frustration is written all over her— eyebrows furrowed, her lips parted and swollen. she’s shaking with an effort to stay still, her clit pulsing against the harness in desperation. “i just—“

“you’re not listening.” your voice drops into a disappointed simmer, and you watch as billie’s lashes grow wet. you sit up straighter, the strap pulled against your cervix, and your girlfriend lets out a slow moan at your movements. you’re opening your mouth to say something when billie whispers out, 

“hit me.”

you pause, but she says it again, louder this time. for you to hit her, to put her in her place, to be just as assertive as you were hours ago. her eyes are swimming with vulnerability and such need that it’s impossible for you to say no. 

you don’t make her ask twice. you pull your hand back and watch as it collides with her cheek, and the whimper that billie lets out makes your cunt flutter against her strap. 

“again, mommy.” she breathes, and you oblige. you strike her again, this time on the other side, and then one more for good measure. you watch the way the red marks blossom on billie’s skin, her hips twitching uncontrollably as she tries to keep the slow, agonizing pace you set.

"what happened to the big and bad billie i thought you were, sweetheart? hm?” you hum, and you can tell that this pacing is absolutely torture to billie. her hips are steady and slow, just like you had asked, and while the feeling is pleasurable for both of you, it’s not enough. 

“i need you,” billie breathes out, hands stuck firmly on your waist, “please, m’sorry…for being so mean, for not trusting you— just, baby— i-i’m so close…”

by the way her lips are parted and swollen and how her thrusts into you become more rigid, you know how bad she needs this. you grab billie’s shoulders and fuck yourself further onto her strap, that familiar coil twisting in your stomach as you moan, your head dropping into the crook of billie’s neck. 

“i’m cumming baby—! fuck, don’t stop, just like that.” you drag on. within a few steady thrusts, you cum all over billie’s strap, hard, your walls hugging the silicone material as you slowly ride out your high. 

billie expects you to curl up underneath the covers and fall asleep next to her, but that isn’t the case. you slowly inch off of the length of the faux cock and unbuckle the harness, sliding it down billie’s thighs until it’s nothing but irrelevant. 

you straddle her again, popping two fingers in your mouth and looking dead into her eyes as you do so. you line the tips of your digits up with her sopping cunt before pushing them in slowly, her slick walls warm and inviting as you curl your fingers upwards, moving them in and out at a medium pace, and billie’s eyes immediately roll back. 

the sounds that leave her throat aren’t human. they’re wrecked, high pitched whimpers that rip through her entire chest as you hook your fingers deep inside her, your movements never faltering. 

“look at me, baby,” you order her and she does, her black hair fanned out across the pillow, her face all red from being victim to your authority. she’s shaking as you intensify your pacing, your thumb finding her clit and rubbing sloppy, tight circles on it. 

“you’re gonna listen to me next time, isn’t that right? because i think we both know the truth, B. you like this, don't you?" you whisper, leaning down until your nose brushes hers. "you like that i’m the one making you feel like this after you tried to break me earlier. you like being handled."

all billie can do is nod, her mouth too busy moaning out curses and strings of your name. her back arches so far off of the bed you’re convinced she’ll snap, her fingers digging into the sheets as her legs shake and twitch underneath your touch. 

“fuck, i-i’m close, mommy— can i cum? please? i’ve been so good, please let me.” 

you learn forward to kiss her crimson, bruised cheeks, her mouth falling near her ear with a whisper, “let go for me baby, i’m right here.”

that’s all the permission she needs. billie’s entire body goes rigid, her pussy spasming around your fingers so hard that it nearly hurts. she lets out a long, shattered scream as her orgasm hits her, her head falling and her breathing completely derailed from the intensity of it. 

you help her ride out her high, your movements slowed and steady until it becomes too much for her. in multiple eased movements, you pull your dingers out of billie’s pussy, a whine escaping her lips from the loss. 

“open.” you order her as she obeys, her jaw falling slack as you place your two digits on her tongue. her mouth closes as she licks your fingers clean and hums, her eyes never leaving yours as she tastes herself on your skin. 

"was I clear?" you whisper, your voice smooth and completely rid of the shakiness from earlier. "about the business? about the us?”

you scan billie’s face, and there isn’t a single remnant of anything like before. her face is gentle and easy, a stupid, uneraseable grin on her face as she nods slowly, 

“crystal clear, ma’am.”