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@eternaltm
SUNNY ! ♡ ( he / they. ) ♡ 25+. ♡ UTC -5. || paranormal/religious oc. please read the carrd listed below before following or interacting, thank you!! ♡
♡ carrd. headcanons. calls. opens. wishlist. ♡ DARK THEMES WILL BE PRESENT HERE.
icon/carrd art credit!
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why would you deny me answers? if i’m just a boy on the break of being. horror and hell through its fires. be brutally honest, was it better for me || a newly born god, worshipped by sunny.
hauntuned.
“I would say only God can judge me, but he lost the right.”
Hands open and close at his sides --- anger coming swiftly but being stifled for her sake. Breathing is leveled out, but there is still a slight bitterness to his words; a taste that he cannot get out of his mouth no matter how hard he tries. And he has. He’s tried again and again.
“He didn’t have it to begin with.” Though he does pause. “Nor does anyone else.”
what form of love do you embody?
love as religion
[ love as the sole object of your reverence--nothing about you is holy, but maybe your love for another is ] when sappho said "in the crooks of your body i find my religion" and when the cast of les mis sang "to love another person is to see the face of God" and when halsey said "i found God, i found him in a lover" and when katherine philips wrote "to the dull angry world let's prove there's a religion in our love"
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lights a little party candle and then blows it out.
unkissed. unloved. unprayed to.
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they smile, soft, a hand cupping his cheek and tilting his head up. lucifer leans down and presses their lips to his, humming quietly in bliss.
bliss. yes, bliss. colin feels it fill him to every edge as long lashes lower — as hazels disappear for the sake of reveling in a different sensation. lucifer kisses him and when they vibrate against him, colin’s soul sings out and matches the frequency. he feels it. thorough. deep. kisses like this, even when simple, they move him so profoundly and he doesn’t always know how to stop it from shaking him, doesn’t always know how to greet emotions when they come besdies with more than open arms. colin loves — fierce. there is a vastness to him that extends so far out into the cold dark and it still manages to feel deeply for the one with their lips against his. sometimes it’s too much. sometimes, it has to go somewhere. lightbulbs flicker, a warning — but it’s too late by the time eyes open again and he finds them no longer in the museum. fresh air fills his lungs; a little damp — but familiar. the gate isn’t far; it sits with vines clear of its metal. used. they are inside the property, inside the place he now knows that he’d made for himself. his first creation. sacred. peaceful. dimly lit, but only for a moment because when he looks upon lucifer before him, every single firefly in the area seems to flicker awake and beam with the same joy. lightbringer. yes, his love, even here — they still bring light with them, they illuminate his very essence and colin stands in momentary awe. transported. no longer even in the same dimension. the god does this in the closing and opening of eyes but it is lucifer he admires, it is lucifer who has done some great thing. a hand comes up to allow fingers to cradle the angle of the devil’s jaw. feather-light. barely there but lips press again, chasing.
“my precious thing.” spoken soft, away from the sands of time. “how i’ve missed you.” his smile is gentle in that way --- so warm and so incredibly fond. “tell me about your adventures, let me see you smile and reminisce on new memories. let me see my favorite color when you laugh; i’ve missed the sound so much that i chase it down corridors in my dreams.”
it’s time to talk about 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆. originally i wanted to do this in december, a little closer to colin’s birthday (12/24) but i decided i can’t wait that long, actually.
while colin is capable of becoming aware of his status as a newly born god, it isn’t until an event i call “the awakening” that he actually fully comes into his divinity. before this happens, colin doesn’t have very much control of his own powers, he’s unsteady. shut-off from himself. this physically manifests inside of him as the gate that i often reference in writing, large and metal and covered in vines and brambles. it sits before a mansion without a door in a place that colin has unknowingly created for himself. the gate itself is an obstacle, one that presents itself whenever colin questions what he is or how he’s doing the things he does. he “dreams” of it, often, but there are rare occurrences where he finds himself before it, even awake.
the scale of importance of this gate is lost to him for a long time. it isn’t built like one but it is very much a floodgate for colin’s powers — for his wrath. a safety measure to prevent him from accidentally splitting atoms, from creating entire worlds out of loneliness. colin’s power does rival that of the abrahamic god and other gods said to be responsible for great creation and destruction. unlike them, colin was raised entirely human — by humans, within the catholic faith. he is emotional. in a lot of ways, unstable. unconsciously, in his infiniteness, he is aware of this fact and so the gate is there and the mansion has no door until the proper time, which is expected to be thousands of years in the future. this does not go as planned. colin experiences “the awakening” in the winter, just shy of his 100th birthday. a very old, very powerful witch gets wind of what he is — a great god, weakened by youth and emotion — and siezes the opportunity to do as she has done in the great past with demi-gods and goes out of her way to TRY AND CONSUME HIS BRAIN. doing so would not only extend her life immeasurably but also grant her seemingly impossible abilities, strengthening her beyond dreams. she, having done this with demi-gods, is almost godlike, herself — and with her many more years of experience and ability is able to weaken colin and actually begin the ritual itself.
it is in this moment, with a bone-saw to his forehead, that colin wakes in full. the floodgate blows open. a door manifests on the mansion. the fog in his mind lifts, and he comes to an profound understanding that he 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐘. his full ego manifests. prey becomes predator, in an instant. colin strips her of her powers, drains the well of demi-god power that keeps her alive with a thought, and it kills her slowly. he watches her die, his doing — and it feels justified. right. the very universe feels this change. anything with so much as a slight sensitivity to the paranormal becomes aware that some BIG has happened in the cosmos. colin chooses to keep the scar on his forehead. it is currently the only mark on his body, aside from the scars that were a result of his top surgery. a reminder to himself? a warning to others? maybe a little bit of both. it is somehow a tether to both his godly and human existence, able to undo it but keeping it there for all to see, instead. behold! your new god scars, too. doesn’t that make him closer, somehow?
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broke: christmas is in 10 days woke: colin’s birthday is in 9
mumbles.
