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Dig baby dig.  Die baby die.  We had the chance to talk about your species to a few other researchers who are active in this sector during the recent spiral arm conference.  They were dumbfounded and thought we were pulling their extremities.  We would never do that as occasionally they come off and we don’t want to be left holding the, well, you get the idea.  The more we shared, the more they…

It appears that, many, many cycles ago, the “bad” you managed to kick the “good” you in front of a mammoth and that was it.  The decision had been made. The human species would be a cruel one.  This occasionally happens, although cruelty, and it’s associated state, anger, tends to be not great at successful progression.  The Blargh were such and they essentially went on a killing spree, reducing…

There are two things that define a species: how they manage their waste and how they treat the weakest parts of their systems.  Since you began walking upright, you have, essentially, just dumped your trash based on convenience.  You tossed it aside, threw it out a window, dumped it into a river, or dropped it into the ocean.  Serious lack of planning and foresight here.  As for the other thing,…

We find your belief systems dogmatic.  The idea that regardless of how much you destroy each other, think poorly of others, refuse to assist those in need, and go out of your way to create definitions that are inclusive to you but exclusive to the majority, is just troubling.  The idea that you can, essentially, do whatever you want here because there is a better place there, is fascinating as it…

There’s a lot of stuff in orbit around your planet.  If you are thinking this is going to somehow protect you from the life-ending comet that has your planet’s name on it, you are, as you are with so many other things, sadly mistaken.  Why, we had to nudge four satellites out of orbit just to land on the beach this visit.  Perhaps you noticed their fractured and fiery descent into your…

This time we only look at Web Toons or Webtoons depending on your https.  All the offerings this time are web-based comics.  These have been wrenched from the electronic frontier and printed as hardcover books which seems like a backwards process, but you will be what you will be.  And we have a bunch of them which we are doing as a group because they are similar while different and also because…

Your ability to use language and naming conventions as a form of misdirection (for what else could it be?) has us troubled.  Let us example you.  You live on a planet with a moon.  You call your planet Earth, and you call your moon Luna, although most people just call it moon.  We will point out that earth is just another name for dirt, something your planet does not really have a lot of.  Your…

We have been following your excitement about finding more rocks that are orbiting in your system.  You have recently noticed one that you are calling your secret moon.  It’s not a particularly large rock and clearly does not achieve moon status although that will not stop you from calling it such.  There are hundreds of these things, circling your planet at various distances and some will even…

We report out that not many of you have subscribed to our pods casts and even fewer have left comments.  This is not going to go well for you.  While the odds of us taking any of you off planet when the comet hits were infinitesimal to begin with, they are now pretty much zero.  And we are disappointed.  Not that we have not been disappointed since our arrival here as we were expecting a robust…

As many of you know (and why all of you don’t know is beyond us) we decided a while ago to utilize those who were either waiting to be probed or who had just been probed, to read our words aloud and put them out into your ether.  We believe you call them Podcasts, in homage to your author Jack Finney.  Our podcasts can be found everywhere.  They are on: Spotify, Apple, Podcast Republic, Amazon,…

Klaarg is a bit of a bottomless pit.  Sure, the five tenstacles and three mouths make feeding optimal, but Klaarg puts it away like the comet was already screaming into your sky.  There’s a difference, Klaarg insists, when talking about Amish popcorn versus yellow kernel versus all red.  And don’t even think of asking about toppings.  Or about which devices pop the best, leaving the fewest…

The Aliens share some recommendations this time and they talk about a few books as well.

Your species’ ability to believe anything, regardless of how much evidence exists against it, is remarkably unique in the universe.  Not that we’ve seen the entire universe, but we do get around.  This is a double outlet plasma arc.  On the one side it enables you to pursue things that most would just agree were impossible.  On the other it keeps you mired in falsehoods, misbelief and misery. …

Klaarg is out getting popcorn.  He says he has found a new variety that is supposed to produce fewer husks and unpopped kernals.  It’s been two days. We’re not sure where he was going to get this stuff, but we suppose he will return eventually.  He could not take a shuttle since he damaged a shuttle the last time he went out for popcorn by landing in a fire lane, which would have been fine except…

Cycles cycle.  The universe expands.  Suns burn their fuel, blazing to an end.  The Glarb culpert their eponarts.  But you know nothing of that.  Instead let’s focus on what you do know, to keep this short.  One of the things that we have noted, repeatedly, about your species is that you tend to look at your feet and assume it is the same view that everyone has.  This is limiting in so many ways…