estoy cansada

The term "masterpiece" originally and traditionally meant a piece of work that an apprentice or other aspiring craftsman created to show off to his master or the town's guild. So naturally, it was intended to be the best fucking thing that you could make, demonstrating just how fucking good you are at what you're making - 100% to flex your skills. And if it was approved, the applicant was accepted as a member of the guild and could now call himself a master, and work in this craft in this city.

Jo Ann Beard, The Fourth State of Matter

[...]

As soon as he was aware of Odysseus, he wagged his tail and flattened his ears, but he lacked the strength to get up and go to his master. Odysseus wiped a tear away, turning aside to keep the swineherd from seeing it, and he said, “Eumaeus, it is surprising that such a dog, of such quality, should be lying here on a dunghill. He is a beauty, but I can’t tell if his looks were matched by his speed or if he was one of those pampered table dogs, which are kept around just for show.”

[...]

And just then death came and darkened the eyes of Argos, who had seen Odysseus again after twenty years.

 Write a dragon rider who really fucking hates it when a dragon is trained to bow while being reined. A space ship engineer who is pissed off when perfectly good antimatter ship has been adapted to run on neutral matter. A historian who is still not over the massive failures of a general who lost a specific battle 300 years before she was born.

 The guy currently giving us a series of lectures on the restoration of historical buildings really, really hates polymer paint. At the artisan school our stained glass teacher really hated this one specific Belgian artist - we never really figured out what did that guy even do, but he’s been dead for over 200 years and our teacher was glad that at least he’s dead.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

The discomfort and instant regret on his face has stuck with me since.

I’d respected the “don’t use Spirit Animal” advice prior to that because it made sense (don’t appropriate another culture), but more than anything before or since, that cemented my determination not to use anything “Spirit Animal” in any way.  It’s talked around on the faceless, voiceless internet, but I think a lot of people see it as just the Native American version of Aesop’s fable with a hogwart’s house twist, so the message doesn’t quite sink is as it should.   It isn’t a casual practice, it’s important. 

Animals having some kind of special property, spirituality, soul, or connection to a person is a very general human belief.  It appears naturally in literally every culture in every corner of the world.   The concept is very intuitive.  You see an octopus scurrying across the ocean floor and feel a distinct kinship to it, you vibe with the energy it’s putting out and feel it represents YOU in a way words can’t really express.  You find a gif of an octopus scrunching it’s limbs into little curliques as it decides if the gloved hand coming toward it is acceptable and reblog it.  Your post just says “it me”, and everyone gets it.  Sometimes the concept is super casual like an octopus gif or common folklore (black cats/dogs are bad luck), other times it’s a very solemn religious-type belief.

The specific (solemn) incarnation of this in Native American culture has been unfortunately lifted up as the typical version of this and is sadly what most people seeking information out (casually) will find first.  You’ll find lists of what Native peoples define the spiritual energy/voice/essence of that animal is and quizzes and decks themed off them made by people who’ve probably never spoken to a person from that culture.  Even though the people in those cultures have said you can’t do that.

There are so many other cultures that would be fine with it, though.  You can use the concept of animals having a spirit/essence/energy to connect with and call on without utilizing and cherry picking the ceremony and culture of Native Americans. 

“Spirit Animal” is an unfortunately general-sounding term, but you can skip over websites, books and decks that use “Spirit Animal” and look for the ones that use other terms.

Animal Spirit, Animal Kin, Animal Guide, Spirit Guide, Spirit of the Animals, Animal Guardian, Animal Protector, Power Animal, Familiar, daemon etc.   All work fine to describe the concept you’re looking for.

The New Caledonian crow, who knows how to specifically build a tool in order to build another tool, never engages in play. These motherfuckers are smarter than some people with the right to vote, and they are Extremely Serious Birds. They don't have time to play, they got work to do and kids to raise.

And then there's the kea, straight-up titled "clown of the mountains", that has a specific vocalization for "playtime!". Scientists decided to try what happens if they play the Play Call for two fully-grown adult keas that are together in an area and can clearly see there is no other, third kea to make the call, and they just go "great idea, disembodied voice! it's TIME TO FUCKING PARTY!" and start wrestling.

The youngest person attending my friend's wedding was two weeks old. The most disruptive child activities that happened was this small human loaf occasionally mewling to announce "so anyway I am very small and I have been around for literally two weeks so I do not understand anything yet." The adult guests would just look at each other and the parents and nod understandingly. Like yeah, they do that. Someone's baby crying is just the sounds of life happening, it's a part of everything. That family headed back home soon after the ceremony and dinner, since naturally the only thing more exhausting than having a baby is being a baby.

One day, something in space is going to look at humans the same way. You go to a new galaxy and there's freaking humans in there, like they just spontaneously manifest on random planets that have the ability to sustain them. All you need is an atmosphere with enough oxygen, some form of water, and that's pretty much all you need before they seem to just pop out of the ground and start terraforming it.

The mystery of the lake fish has been solved, by the way. It's waterfowl. Much like the birds that eat seeds and spread them around, waterfowl consume roe from the water, and while the number of fertilised fish eggs that pass through the digestive system of a duck or wild goose alive and unharmed may be small, it's not zero. A goose will shit in the lake water, and through comes the roe. It happens just often enough that lakes and ponds become - and remain - populated with fish.

Humans don't pop up on unknown planets and and unreachable galaxies on purpose. They couldn't get in there any more than they could get out of there, they have no choice but to claim the most viable-looking planet they can reach and start terraforming it. But how did they even get there?

because we as a species were so lonely and we wanted friends so bad, we wanted to meet other species and we wanted to talk to them and we wanted to learn from them and to stop being the only people in the universe

and we started realizing that things were maybe not going so good for us– we got scared that we were going to blow each other up, we got scared that we were going to break our planet permanently, we got scared that in a hundred years we were all going to be dead and gone and even if there were other people out there, we’d never get to meet them

and then

we built robots?

and we gave them names and we gave them brains made out of silicon and we pretended they were people and we told them hey you wanna go exploring, and of course they did, because we had made them in our own image

and maybe in a hundred years we won’t be around any more, maybe yeah the planet will be a mess and we’ll all be dead, and if other people come from the stars we won’t be around to meet them and say hi! how are you! we’re people, too! you’re not alone any more!, maybe we’ll be gone

but we built robots, who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names; and if the other people come and say, who were these people? what were they like?

the robots can say, when they made us, they called us discovery; they called us curiosity; they called us explorer; they called us spirit. they must have thought that was important.

you probably heard that the mars opportunity rover died today. 

it was hard news to hear. i cried at my desk at work. it doesn’t make it easier that it was only supposed to run for 90 days at all; it doesn’t make it easier that it lived 14 years longer than it expected to. it lived a full life. it lived a very good life. it was the first set of eyes on miles and miles of mars. it was an explorer, it was tough, it was very, very brave. and none of that makes it easier, none of that makes it okay that it is not going to sing happy birthday to itself again.

about a year ago, my childhood cat died. i loved her more than anything. i don’t live near my family any more, and i wasn’t there for it, but my parents were, and they held her while her body gave out, and they say she knew she was with them, she knew she was loved.

i know opportunity was a computer inside a movable body, and not a person, or even an animal. still, i wish it had had people to hold it. i wish it had been with the people who cared for it. it seems very hard to me, to die so far from home.

but i think - to the extent to which we can say computers “know” things, which i think is a great deal; i think knowing is most of what computers do; i think if they have a consciousness, knowledge must be nearly all of it-

i think opportunity knew it was loved. 

every couple of months i dream that i’ve gone home and my cat’s there. even now, even though my grieving is over and done with, i visit her in my dreams, and i hold her, and every time, she purrs. she missed me. she’s so happy to be with me again.

Voyager 1 will lose all power to its Low Energy Charged Particle Instrument this November, 2026. After that, all it will have left is its data tape recorder. It is unknown when this instrument will fail. Voyager 1 is the farthest from earth we have ever sent anything. Her sister, Voyager 2, and the younger New Horizons, are the only three things we have sent out of the solar system that are still transmitting back to us.

But only the Voyagers have our voices carried with them. And not only human voices speaking English, but voices speaking over 55 languages, living and ancient; all are words of welcome. Some even include invitations, askings after health, and wishes for joy and peace. My favourite is Punjabi, which says not merely “welcome” but “Welcome home”; and Amoy, which includes “Have you eaten? Come visit us when you have the time”. Not just human voices, but also humpback whales, and the sea, and the birds, and the animals, and the rain and the thunder. We get told the golden record is about “us” but I don’t think it gets emphasised it’s about ALL of us, not just humans. We didn’t want to show the universe just humanity, we wanted to share EARTH.

And I cry about that a lot. I’m not ashamed to say that. I am crying right now as I type this. Because I think that’s just an incredible testament to send out into the universe. I’m so grateful that our legacy will be one of the BEST of humanity, the best of us. I’ve said before, for all the petty problems (and they are PETTY, no matter what governments say) of money and war and power and violence and labour that occupy too much of everyone’s lives, none of that is on our first message–perhaps our only message–out into the universe. There is no sound on that golden record of screaming, of crying, of coughing, of guns or pain or work, of shareholder numbers or stock prices or kings. There is only singing and joy and invitations from friends. There is only the distilled essence of what humans are:

Hello, friend!

Have you eaten?

I hope you’re well!

Come see us!

We love you!

We love you!

because we as a species were so lonely and we wanted friends so bad, we wanted to meet other species and we wanted to talk to them and we wanted to learn from them and to stop being the only people in the universe

and we started realizing that things were maybe not going so good for us– we got scared that we were going to blow each other up, we got scared that we were going to break our planet permanently, we got scared that in a hundred years we were all going to be dead and gone and even if there were other people out there, we’d never get to meet them

and then

we built robots?

and we gave them names and we gave them brains made out of silicon and we pretended they were people and we told them hey you wanna go exploring, and of course they did, because we had made them in our own image

and maybe in a hundred years we won’t be around any more, maybe yeah the planet will be a mess and we’ll all be dead, and if other people come from the stars we won’t be around to meet them and say hi! how are you! we’re people, too! you’re not alone any more!, maybe we’ll be gone

but we built robots, who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names; and if the other people come and say, who were these people? what were they like?

the robots can say, when they made us, they called us discovery; they called us curiosity; they called us explorer; they called us spirit. they must have thought that was important.

you probably heard that the mars opportunity rover died today. 

it was hard news to hear. i cried at my desk at work. it doesn’t make it easier that it was only supposed to run for 90 days at all; it doesn’t make it easier that it lived 14 years longer than it expected to. it lived a full life. it lived a very good life. it was the first set of eyes on miles and miles of mars. it was an explorer, it was tough, it was very, very brave. and none of that makes it easier, none of that makes it okay that it is not going to sing happy birthday to itself again.

about a year ago, my childhood cat died. i loved her more than anything. i don’t live near my family any more, and i wasn’t there for it, but my parents were, and they held her while her body gave out, and they say she knew she was with them, she knew she was loved.

i know opportunity was a computer inside a movable body, and not a person, or even an animal. still, i wish it had had people to hold it. i wish it had been with the people who cared for it. it seems very hard to me, to die so far from home.

but i think - to the extent to which we can say computers “know” things, which i think is a great deal; i think knowing is most of what computers do; i think if they have a consciousness, knowledge must be nearly all of it-

i think opportunity knew it was loved. 

every couple of months i dream that i’ve gone home and my cat’s there. even now, even though my grieving is over and done with, i visit her in my dreams, and i hold her, and every time, she purrs. she missed me. she’s so happy to be with me again.

to the person in the bell jar...