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I’m nearly a year free from addiction first time in like forever I’m not  in survival mode And It’s all because Earlier this year I moved into mums home I’m 29 As a child I was labeled gifted  Spent my youth proving it  performing, praise my first addiction  Classic overachiever turned  chronic burnout disillusionment timeline spiralled out of three degrees I always got perfect scores  It was everything else  My body rejected all the medications I couldn’t sleep for years Hated so many therapists  before I found Narrative Therapy I’m convinced CBT can be like  Empire mind control Oh dear, you are mal-adaptive Quit focusing on the conditions  It’s your faulty cogs  For me diagnosis never felt good  What’s a normal reaction To this world It isn’t trendy to talk about family patterns addiction, abandonment, spiritual psychosis  How do you define Emotional abuse? Well I know one truth It didn’t start with you  And also  we are all being abused by inflation glorification of full-time submission now it barely pays the bills Frogs in boiling water yet again  Normalised only two days free time  nervous systems fried minds taught to suppress just get on with it Caregivers collapsing  as soon as they get home Inherited coping mechanisms passed down like recipes Addiction  isn’t evil it’s the body attempting to regulate the only way it knows how  it’s the body trying to stay alive

Essena:

My favourite reads on this subject below 💜 Empire’s core spell is convincing us that systemic wounds are personal failures. We are all surviving, adapting, attempting to feel better. I’m obsessed with critical psychology literature and with narrative and somatic lenses that look at generational patterns, hold a wide, webbed lens of the self within dominant narratives, and honour the body’s pain as communication and intelligence. This is purely my lived experience. Many people love CBT, many do not. CBT can sometimes pathologise normal reactions to oppressive conditions. What gets called “maladaptive” is often survival or difference, and much of our suffering is shaped by society, context, and the body’s adaptations, not personal failure. For me, understanding family patterns, ancestral history, social environments, class, nervous system responses, and survival adaptations feels far more compassionate, far more real. I don’t resonate with therapeutic models that separate the mind from the body or the self from society. This poem is for past me and for anyone struggling inside mainstream treatment, anyone who feels their story is bigger than a diagnosis. Of course many people benefit. Many are also like me, questioning how our species is understood in the context of late capitalism and the colonial inheritance of what’s deemed normal, moral, and expected. I feel human suffering cannot be understood without context, power, history and the body 💜 📖 Outline of Theoretical Psychology: Critical Investigations 🌟 Thomas Teo 📖 The Critique of Psychology: From Kant to Postcolonial Theory 💫 Thomas Teo 📖 Encyclopedia of Critical Psychology ☄️ Editor Thomas Teo 📖 CBF: Cognitive Behavioral Fallacies (2021) ❤️‍🔥 Farhad Dalal 📖 Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason 😦 Michel Foucault 📖 Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends 🌀 Michael White & David Epston 📖 Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto 🌙 Tricia Hersey

withessena:

My favourite reads on the complex subject below 💜 Empire’s core spell is convincing us that systemic wounds are personal failures. We are all surviving, adapting, attempting to feel better under collectively insane conditions. I’m obsessed with critical psychology literatureand with narrative and somatic therapeutic lenses that hold a wide, relational view of the self within dominant narratives and honour the body’s pain as communication and intelligence. This is purely my lived experience. Many people love CBT, many do not. CBT can sometimes pathologise normal reactions to oppressive conditions. What gets called “maladaptive” is often survival or difference. Much suffering is shaped by society, context and the body’s adaptations… not merely personal failure. For me, understanding family patterns, ancestral history, social environments, class, feminist critiques,nervous system responses and survival adaptationsfeels far more compassionate, far more real. I personally don’t resonate with therapeutic models that separate the mind from the bodyor the self from society. This poem is for past me and for anyone struggling inside mainstream treatment, anyone who feels their story is bigger than a diagnosis. Of course many people benefit. Many are also like me, questioning how our species is understood in the context of late-stage capitalism and the colonial inheritance of what’s deemed normal, moral and expected. I feel human suffering cannot be understoodwithout social context, power, history and the body as whole system 💜 📖 Outline of Theoretical Psychology: Critical Investigations 🌟 Thomas Teo 📖 The Critique of Psychology: From Kant to Postcolonial Theory 💫 Thomas Teo 📖 Encyclopedia of Critical Psychology ☄️ Editor Thomas Teo 📖 CBF: Cognitive Behavioral Fallacies (2021) ❤️‍🔥 Farhad Dalal 📖 Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason 😦 Michel Foucault 📖 Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends 🌀 Michael White & David Epston 📖 Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto 🌙 Tricia Hersey #addiction#burnout#nervoussystemregulation#foucault#giftedkidburnout

withessena:

🌬️ Mother of My Nature 🌎🪷🍀💧 Performed at Liquid Lyrics @ Coolum on Kabi Kabi Country ❤️🖤💛 Come see me and many colourful people at the Grand Final Nov 29 2025 🌀 Lately I’ve been immersed in Celtic and Slavic history, learning how Earth-based peoples of Europe once followed thirteen moon months, as most ancient cultures did, before Rome restructured time itself to ten then twelve months for taxation, debt and control. The original calendars honoured the four phases of the moon, the tides, the harvest. Life was lived in cycles. Animism has always been my worldview. When I read Celtic and Slavic myths I cry, full body recognition. It’s the same themes child me wrote about. Our bodies remember the Before, when the sacred was cyclical, relational, alive. Earth is our mother, our ancestor, our kin. I feel our severance from her is the root of our alienation. I write into this severed history on my website (link in bio) through undergrad essays like Empire Eats the Poor and Blames Them (state-sanctioned famine propaganda in Ukraine and Ireland) 🌾 and Sacred Land, Legal Fiction (Empire, Erasure and the Myths We Live By) 🌪️ Also!!! Deepest of Samhain my loves 🎃 when the veil was thinnest between the living and the departed… Many ancient cultures felt their ancestors alive in nature, spirit, sound and vision. This time once marked the end of harvest, a time to give thanks to Mother, to pray to the dark for renewal, protection and guidance. Many remember Halloween was the commercialisation of a ritual too powerful to end the true cross quarter when the Sun reaches fifteen degrees Scorpio… the ancient portal of transformation and becoming 🕯️ Also 🌬️ “The Voice” by Celtic Woman found me the night before the slam 🫀 my blood pulses to every word #celtic #slavic #animism #mothernature #essenaoneill

Mother Earth Unconditional love She will always hold There is no sin She won’t forgive Instantly For She knows We are all born blind Into cycles of oppression Class systems Institutions Narratives Curated to control Mind body spirit For too long  Mother’s watched  the Rulers vs the People Our past was written by them My ancestors—Celts and Slavs Once were the majority across Europe Branches of the same old tree We were not peasants, pagans, or savages We were sovereign Long we flourished and defended Our women were Seers, storm speakers Threshold keepers My mother line—Weavers Our moon bleeds sacred Thirteen moon months, fucken obvious Invasion, taxation, assimilation Wasn’t our religion The Roman cross of crucifixion What a logo Earth-based cultures Knew Earth as Mother, ancestor, kin We her divine extension Her vessel, her voice Mother speaks through the body Our feelings are also hers The rage, the grief All holy She sees us whole Enduring Returning The Book of the Dead is clear Heavy, hardened hearts are consumed Heaven is Mother’s womb She lets us rest, then choose to return And we do For our love of humanity is endless The story of humanity Impossible resilience

liquid lyrics poetry slam:

Essena with her winning perfomance at Liquid Lyrics "eyes of the heart"

withessena:

I meant what I felt

withessena:

‘Forbidden Fruit’ 🍎🩸🔻 How sovereignty became s1n. Full-length poem (the second half explores how ruling class favourites like Plato viewed women 😬 plus Eve and Tree of Knowledge inversions) now on my website www.withessena.com 🌀 If you’re local to the Sunshine Coast, check out Liquid Lyrics in Coolum, a monthly open mic that’s pure heart and art. The community, poetry, music and veg food are divine ♥️ I’ll be performing ‘Mother of My Nature’ there on Saturday 18.10.2025 for their monthly theme Eyes of the Heart 🫀👁️❤️‍🔥 Search Liquid Lyrics on Humanitix for $25 tickets and I’ll see you there ♥️ #herstory #essenaoneill #writertok #femininerising #hiddenhistory

Essena O'Neill " Forbidden Fruit" Liquid Lyrics Poetry Slam

Does anyone know what the word virgin means?

In many ancient cultures Across many ancient tongues It did not simply mean untouched by man it meant un-owned Whole unto herself sovereign enough to choose to change to lead

Goddess Inanna of Sumer was a distinct virgin maiden who felt her place in royalty unjust

She descended into her grief stripped herself bare of all above luxuries no more jewels crowns or robes

She willingly descended into the world beneath the throne Parts of her had to die so she could return Sovereign Queen

She was not saved by man or god Rather the ruling class violently disowned her and yet she returned on her own terms Crowned with clarity only the underclass can teach

Then there’s the all-knowing all-powerful Isis of Egypt before series of colonisations she was Aset of Kemet

Her virginal waters birthed our sun Her cosmic womb held the world Her tides forever interlink promising to lift the forgotten binding no chains but breaking them

Mokosh of the Slavs Great mother of Earth and wells Protector of women, of the oppressed Her waters could soothe all wounds Her voice rises in the rivers

Sedna of the Arctic Ishtar of Sumer Seshat of Kemet Oshun of Yoruba Dana of the Celts Durga of India Freya of the Norse

In their original myths each sexually free each sovereign each divine

Might be hard to imagine but women were once widely worshiped as sovereign creators symbols for the oppressed extensions of mother nature justice personified

So what happened?

Well you know what they say all trade routes lead back to Rome

We know that empire did a lot of conquering!

Basically they killed the old gods and anyone who would not submit

See empire knew this trick if Rome conquered you you’d resist but if god came you’d submit

It was only in the 4th century empire absorbed the once radical and super illegal christianity

Centuries and centuries before 0BC and centuries and centuries after thousands of people were nailed to Roman crosses for daring to defy state doctrine

Long has empire baptised their domination as salvation

We know empires would invade but less is known of how they’d rewrite local myths of the people

Canon by canon

Empire inverted and redefined the concept of virgin — sovereign maiden into holy purity law

Ohhhh suddenly it means innocent fresh, ripe for the picking unspoiled, unruined worthy of being a wife

Bodies purchased and transferred from Father to Husband Pure servant of love For better or worse I shall obey

Now, these were ancient divide and control tactics

Let’s be clear the male sex is not to blame Many men and those in-between have been fighting the rulers’ decrees for thousands of years

Oh didn’t the ruling elite love Plato! He wrote that those who are cowardly and unjust are reincarnated as women

And Aristotle declared women were begotten males weaker in all pursuits incapable of political thought reproduction the main role

What did these guys think about slaves? The oppressed classes? Hun, that’s the divine natural order of things Our god says it’s all okay

Historically the ruling class has always conspired for their own gain and dominion

Oh I said the word conspiracy!

When did it become so taboo to name the obvious?

Throughout history the powers that be do conspire through war through law through resource extraction and control and through words

Like the phrase the “free market” now that’s a crueler paradox than “virgin mother”

And isn’t it something that seeking knowledge became the original sin? A woman’s sin?

Oh don’t talk about gender, religion or politics!

Well, you know what I love? the fall of Eve

Even in their inverted punishing myth she chose truth She chose to know rather than stay in curated ignorance

And that so-called forbidden fruit? It was literally knowledge It will always taste divine

Mum 🫀✨🩸

From Essena’s pinterest

withessena:

Nearly ready to hand this manuscript to publishers. I have never been so fucking excited. Memoir, myth, and critical deep history breaking back into the present. Myths older than Rome remember the sequence I follow: Descent, Confrontation of Power, Return. If you knew my Tumblr voice, this is me a decade deep of descent. Polished rants and poems. Stories from future worlds. Truths Empire has silenced for centuries upon centuries. Controversial is too small a word. Fierce and hopeful as my heart. All due in tidal time 🌀🌊🌚 Words cannot express how I ached for my voice to return after my viral 2015 exit, when my morals, intentions, and ideas were condemned as controversial. Safe to say people either rejoiced in recognition or seethed with rage. What did I expect? I pulled the moral rug out from fellow influencers, sure, still didn’t expect my followers to triple. Speculation brought shame to me like an avalanche. All consuming. No exit. I drowned in despair for too long. Alas, modern Empire’s reaction revealed everything I needed to know. Here I confess all and more. If you thought I was spiritual before… unmasked voice and heart incoming. The energy this writing gives me is uncharted 🫀❤️‍🔥😆 P.S. if you grew up with me on Tumblr, we called each other earthlings, we were that fucking cute. I reckon I missed you more. You women made me me. We were anti-capitalist eco feminists without the theory 😆 #essenaoneill #essena #witch #wicca #inanna 🎵 Medusa - Amanati

The hardest part to explain even to myself is that I chose my descent At eighteen I leapt off the modern pillars fame fortune validation false gods indeed At first I was beaming never had I felt such force of clarity such a rapture of ecstasy as if every emotion I’d ever repressed could finally fly free No one could have prepared me once the façade is gone all that’s left is the ache that built it “She’s gone mad” said the crowd as my words caught like wildfire Virality felt like a disease unimaginably exposed I cut myself open for all to see my bleeding heart their feast I bore a bloody beating in the shallows of the mainstream “She’s ruined the O’Neill name” many know the pain of family the words only they can wound you with or worse the silence Time to internalise you deserve this shame you fell from grace from how good women behave A decade on I no longer dream of ascending above transcending away from Mother escaping reality I choose to descend into the body into the ache into the ancestral ancient memory stored in flesh A decade on I finally see these depths chose me Home in the underworld my birthright was to return experience depths uncharted, unseen So few are so lucky to answer the call the heart always speaks first in ways felt, unseen

liquid lyrics poetry slam:

Essena O'Neill Slam Poetry APS Sunny Coast Heat 2025 Slam Poetry APS Sunny Coast Heat 2025 ‪@liquidlyricspoetry‬ Essena O'Neil