this is not a diary and I am not okay @esquivelle - Tumblr Blog

formsuperion

@esquivelle

".... Do you want something? We saw what day it is. On the calendar." Silverbolt wants to know.

esquivelle

"Huh? It's June 16th. We don't have a holiday till Juneteenth and that's Wednesday," Raf says, completely confused.

formsuperion

"... But... isn't it a day for mentors?" Silverbolt asks.

"You haven't been around, either." Air Raid complains, sidling up to nudge his brother, shoulder to wing.

esquivelle

Raf thinks for a moment, then frowns. "Oh, shit. I forgot about Father's Day. My parents didn't make it through the war. I go see Abuela on Mother's Day if I can and if not I send her a present. If I'm not with her I hang out with Charlie or June, but...I don't have a substitute dad--" "Yeah you do," Jack says, coming out of the kitchen with a tub of vanilla icing he is eating all by itself with a spoon. Which is kinda gross, but whatever. "You got Soundwave. He hasn't filled out adoption papers, but--"

Raf glared at him. "I am not sending Soundwave a Father's Day card."

"One of his kids is having a party for him. You should go." Jack licks the spoon in a weird way, which Raf ignores.

"Father's Day is for...fathers. Not mentors in general. And there's Mother's Day, which is for mothers." Raf frowns. "If I had a kid, I would just be...a parent. There isn't a day for just that. Fathers are men. Mothers are women. I'm...me."

They shrug and look up at Jack. If Jack started this, he is in so. much. trouble. But Jack is very bad at looking innocent, which means there's no actual way to know, because he is going to look guilty whether he did it or not.

Raf glances at Air Raid. "Sorry," they say. "I had to go work on Mars for a couple of weeks. Did I forget to call? Charlie kept me so busy..."

formsuperion

"Mentors are just... Mentors." Silverbolt shrugs back, with a flick of his own wings. "You found us, got us to come here. That's like being a mentor."

"You did." Air Raid complains. " 'Flight wanted to go back to Earth to get all of our Halloween stuff, but we got told we needed supervision to be allowed back there." He makes a face.

esquivelle

"I'm sorry that happened, but...why do you need more Halloween stuff in June?" Raf grins. "I am glad to be your mentor. Like Bumblebee and Charlie used to be mine. But we need special days for mentors and parents that don't require you to be a specific gender. Maybe we could start a thing. That would give you time to plan something fun?"

#Air Raid | formsuperion #Silverbolt | formsuperion #Jack Darby | npc'd out of Voice of Stanix

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formsuperion

@esquivelle

".... Do you want something? We saw what day it is. On the calendar." Silverbolt wants to know.

esquivelle

"Huh? It's June 16th. We don't have a holiday till Juneteenth and that's Wednesday," Raf says, completely confused.

formsuperion

"... But... isn't it a day for mentors?" Silverbolt asks.

"You haven't been around, either." Air Raid complains, sidling up to nudge his brother, shoulder to wing.

esquivelle

Raf thinks for a moment, then frowns. "Oh, shit. I forgot about Father's Day. My parents didn't make it through the war. I go see Abuela on Mother's Day if I can and if not I send her a present. If I'm not with her I hang out with Charlie or June, but...I don't have a substitute dad--" "Yeah you do," Jack says, coming out of the kitchen with a tub of vanilla icing he is eating all by itself with a spoon. Which is kinda gross, but whatever. "You got Soundwave. He hasn't filled out adoption papers, but--"

Raf glared at him. "I am not sending Soundwave a Father's Day card."

"One of his kids is having a party for him. You should go." Jack licks the spoon in a weird way, which Raf ignores.

"Father's Day is for...fathers. Not mentors in general. And there's Mother's Day, which is for mothers." Raf frowns. "If I had a kid, I would just be...a parent. There isn't a day for just that. Fathers are men. Mothers are women. I'm...me."

They shrug and look up at Jack. If Jack started this, he is in so. much. trouble. But Jack is very bad at looking innocent, which means there's no actual way to know, because he is going to look guilty whether he did it or not.

Raf glances at Air Raid. "Sorry," they say. "I had to go work on Mars for a couple of weeks. Did I forget to call? Charlie kept me so busy..."

#mentor's day would be a nice idea #or parent's day?#Silverbolt & Air Raid | formsuperion #Jack Darby | npc'd out of Voice of Stanix

formsuperion

@esquivelle

".... Do you want something? We saw what day it is. On the calendar." Silverbolt wants to know.

esquivelle

"Huh? It's June 16th. We don't have a holiday till Juneteenth and that's Wednesday," Raf says, completely confused.

#Aerialbots | formsuperion

robo-bozo7125

i think eating one of these would fix my problems

#forbidden snacks

esquivelle

@ask-smokescreen

The coke that goes in your nose is not the same as the coke that goes in your mouth. Nose coke is a white powder and it is not good for you. Mouth coke is a brown fizzy liquid and it is not good for you.

If a human snorted a human sized briefcase full of nose coke then they probably need to go to the hospital.

If a Cybertronian snorted nose coke...I don't know what the fuck would happen.

Please tell have your anon tell us whether they're human and how big the briefcase was. I'm praying it was a human sized briefcase though, and not one of Brainstorm's toys. That introduces a metric fuckload of variables that I don't want to think about.

ask-smokescreen

White powder... What, so, like flour or something? That's a weird abbreviation for that stuff.

Honestly, Alternate Universe-Raf, I have no idea if I'll hear from that Anon again. The stuff they do scares me, sometimes. And this is one of the more run of the flour-mill things from them.

esquivelle

Cocaine is a powerfully addictive stimulant drug. For thousands of years, people in South America have chewed and ingested coca leaves (Eryt

No, not like flour. That only makes people sick if they're allergic to it or if they have celiac disease.

Cocaine is like a circuit booster for humans.

The anons are scary. True facts.

#Smokescreeen | ask-smokescreen #drugs #(definition of drugs)

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@ask-smokescreen

The coke that goes in your nose is not the same as the coke that goes in your mouth. Nose coke is a white powder and it is not good for you. Mouth coke is a brown fizzy liquid and it is not good for you.

If a human snorted a human sized briefcase full of nose coke then they probably need to go to the hospital.

If a Cybertronian snorted nose coke...I don't know what the fuck would happen.

Please tell have your anon tell us whether they're human and how big the briefcase was. I'm praying it was a human sized briefcase though, and not one of Brainstorm's toys. That introduces a metric fuckload of variables that I don't want to think about.

#ask a human #ask a human next time #Smokescreen | ask-smokescreen #rafael explains it all #rafael explains it all yet again

convenientkeystorage

“It’s Shatterday. Ask questions if you want. You only get an answer for the interesting ones.”

esquivelle

"I'll join in on this. Why not?"

Raf looks up at Jack. "I mean the answering other people's questions part," they say, and laugh softly. "You and Miko and I practically live in each other's armpits as it is. If there's something I don't know about you and it's not operationally important, let the last shred of mystery between us remain."

#(SG-TFP)#not an adult from another universe lmao #Jack Darby | convienientkeystorage

lagostomus

He really hopes no one is actually expecting him to be a good mentor.

Yeesh.

esquivelle

It's from a cartoon, Rattrap. Four turtles learned the art of ninjutsu--a martial arts tradition--from a rat.

lagostomus

....

Huh.

... Humans're weird.

No offense.

esquivelle

We are, but...

Didn't Ravage and all her siblings name themselves after Cybertronian cartoon characters?

What was it, "Cybercats of Darkmount"?

I've actually watched a few episodes.

lagostomus

I ain't Cybertronian.

'M Eukarian.

Sure, my ancestors mighta been Cybertronian, but Eukarians adapted. Homeworld Cybertronians just went nuts.

esquivelle

Are you saying Eukarians don't have batshit crazy cartoons for their young that are also full of jokes or politics or whatever that only the creators are usually old enough to catch on to?

lagostomus

"We don' really have.... holopads. Er... TVs? News an' stuff usually travels word o'mouth, tribe ta tribe." Rattrap huffs. "If something big was gonna happen, the Fateweavers would send out warnings t'the clans involved. Or leadership would see to it that everyone else knew."

His tail twitched. "What about you? Ain't it weird ta be on a planet where everyone's three or four times yer size-- at least?"

esquivelle

"I don't really remember a time before Cybertronians came to Earth. There weren't very many giant robot menaces around when I was little, or so I'm told, but I am a human datapath, and when I was 12, I was kicking Soundwave's aft in the war because my logic circuits aren't the same as his and he couldn't predict me. This turned out to be a good thing, as he thought I was too interesting to kill, even if it did mean Megatron occasionally wondered if he had been taking stupid pills."

Raf shrugs.

"Here, I have diplomatic immunity, but I'm really short so I have to make sure that people actually see me, because dead on accident is still dead. On Earth...I work for the EDC, which means I periodically get shot at either by Cybertronians or the humans who hate them. I'm actually not sure which one is worse. On Earth and on Mars I can eat whatever I want, but the safest place in the Sol system is probably Sanctuary. Originally Soundwave wanted to design it for Cybertronians alone but then we ended up in an alliance with them so now we have..."

Raf laughs.

"There are protected passages above Cybertronian average optic level that look like habitrails, or what Jackson Galaxy would call a 'cat superhighway', and there's also gravity and oxygen. Still, even though it's safer than Earth, the menu options are limited, and it's a good thing I'm not very interested in dating anyone. I travel a lot these days. Also, I sometimes get called when they find Autobots hiding on Earth who don't know the war's over, which happens sometimes. Last time it happened they were all kids and now I have kids and I'm not even thirty yet."

lagostomus

"... Huh." Rattrap responds, sitting back on his haunches. "Well, I work fer His Imperialness, Emperor Starscream, an' I'm pretty sure that if I suggested installin' a highway through his penthouse he really would punt me outta window."

He shrugs, offers a pawhand. "Nice ta officially meetcha. Er... You said there's more Autobots on Earth?"

esquivelle

Raf takes his hand. "There are mecha hiding out on Earth from both factions, and from none. Some were left behind when their commanders were killed of moved on. Some ran away. That happens in big wars. Nice to meet you too."

Raf glances away, briefly. "I wish he wouldn't threaten people so casually. That's the way Megatron used to treat him. Starscream was a complete jerk much of the time he was on Earth, but no-one deserves to be treated like Megatron treated him."

#Rattrap | lagostomus

lagostomus

He really hopes no one is actually expecting him to be a good mentor.

Yeesh.

esquivelle

It's from a cartoon, Rattrap. Four turtles learned the art of ninjutsu--a martial arts tradition--from a rat.

lagostomus

....

Huh.

... Humans're weird.

No offense.

esquivelle

We are, but...

Didn't Ravage and all her siblings name themselves after Cybertronian cartoon characters?

What was it, "Cybercats of Darkmount"?

I've actually watched a few episodes.

lagostomus

I ain't Cybertronian.

'M Eukarian.

Sure, my ancestors mighta been Cybertronian, but Eukarians adapted. Homeworld Cybertronians just went nuts.

esquivelle

Are you saying Eukarians don't have batshit crazy cartoons for their young that are also full of jokes or politics or whatever that only the creators are usually old enough to catch on to?

lagostomus

"We don' really have.... holopads. Er... TVs? News an' stuff usually travels word o'mouth, tribe ta tribe." Rattrap huffs. "If something big was gonna happen, the Fateweavers would send out warnings t'the clans involved. Or leadership would see to it that everyone else knew."

His tail twitched. "What about you? Ain't it weird ta be on a planet where everyone's three or four times yer size-- at least?"

esquivelle

"I don't really remember a time before Cybertronians came to Earth. There weren't very many giant robot menaces around when I was little, or so I'm told, but I am a human datapath, and when I was 12, I was kicking Soundwave's aft in the war because my logic circuits aren't the same as his and he couldn't predict me. This turned out to be a good thing, as he thought I was too interesting to kill, even if it did mean Megatron occasionally wondered if he had been taking stupid pills."

Raf shrugs.

"Here, I have diplomatic immunity, but I'm really short so I have to make sure that people actually see me, because dead on accident is still dead. On Earth...I work for the EDC, which means I periodically get shot at either by Cybertronians or the humans who hate them. I'm actually not sure which one is worse. On Earth and on Mars I can eat whatever I want, but the safest place in the Sol system is probably Sanctuary. Originally Soundwave wanted to design it for Cybertronians alone but then we ended up in an alliance with them so now we have..."

Raf laughs.

"There are protected passages above Cybertronian average optic level that look like habitrails, or what Jackson Galaxy would call a 'cat superhighway', and there's also gravity and oxygen. Still, even though it's safer than Earth, the menu options are limited, and it's a good thing I'm not very interested in dating anyone. I travel a lot these days. Also, I sometimes get called when they find Autobots hiding on Earth who don't know the war's over, which happens sometimes. Last time it happened they were all kids and now I have kids and I'm not even thirty yet."

#Rattrap | lagostomus

lagostomus

He really hopes no one is actually expecting him to be a good mentor.

Yeesh.

esquivelle

It's from a cartoon, Rattrap. Four turtles learned the art of ninjutsu--a martial arts tradition--from a rat.

lagostomus

....

Huh.

... Humans're weird.

No offense.

esquivelle

We are, but...

Didn't Ravage and all her siblings name themselves after Cybertronian cartoon characters?

What was it, "Cybercats of Darkmount"?

I've actually watched a few episodes.

lagostomus

I ain't Cybertronian.

'M Eukarian.

Sure, my ancestors mighta been Cybertronian, but Eukarians adapted. Homeworld Cybertronians just went nuts.

esquivelle

Are you saying Eukarians don't have batshit crazy cartoons for their young that are also full of jokes or politics or whatever that only the creators are usually old enough to catch on to?

#Rattrap | lagostomus

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lagostomus

He really hopes no one is actually expecting him to be a good mentor.

Yeesh.

esquivelle

It's from a cartoon, Rattrap. Four turtles learned the art of ninjutsu--a martial arts tradition--from a rat.

lagostomus

....

Huh.

... Humans're weird.

No offense.

esquivelle

We are, but...

Didn't Ravage and all her siblings name themselves after Cybertronian cartoon characters?

What was it, "Cybercats of Darkmount"?

I've actually watched a few episodes.

#Rattrap | lagostomus

lagostomus

He really hopes no one is actually expecting him to be a good mentor.

Yeesh.

esquivelle

It's from a cartoon, Rattrap. Four turtles learned the art of ninjutsu--a martial arts tradition--from a rat.

#Rattrap | lagostomus

convenientkeystorage

If Rung really wants to get wild with it, he can teach the turtles ninjutsu.

esquivelle

Don't you think that's more of a Drift-type job?

convenientkeystorage

If we’re getting technical, I think Rattrap would have to do it.

esquivelle

Why? Rattrap's not a martial artist, is he?

...

oh.

#Jack Darby | convenientkeystorage

convenientkeystorage

If Rung really wants to get wild with it, he can teach the turtles ninjutsu.

esquivelle

Don't you think that's more of a Drift-type job?

#Jack Darby | convenientkeystorage

formsuperion

go out on a group date with the stunticons

"... What? Why?" Silverbolt blinks in confusion. "Also... No thank you."

esquivelle

Do not do this. I know you already said no, but. Do not do this.

Their idea of "fun" is endangering themselves and everyone around them and they have never heard of the concept of "not popping your panels until you are sure you can trust the other person".

The EDC gets called about them on a fairly regular basis. Some of them live on Sanctuary but if they get into trouble on Earth for being obnoxious shitheads, they know they will not be got out of that trouble by Ravage and Soundwave.

They like to fuck in alt-mode on the freeways and their favourite time to do so is "rush hour".

I'm pretty sure they were the inspiration for that Lemon Demon song, even though only one of them is an actual truck. Also, Motormaster's arrival on Sanctuary is what precipitated the consent classes you all have to take from Howlback before you're considered legal adults, in which you will be told that you are not allowed to do all sorts of things most of you will not ever have considered doing.

(Like having group sex on the freeway without asking everyone else who will be affected by that if they are OK with it.)

#Silverbolt | formsuperion #worst idea ever #film at 11

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esquivelle

"Silverbolt, when I'm on Sanctuary, I eat with the rest of the humans in their commissary. When I'm in my apartment in Tsukuba Science City, I also have plenty of food. I can afford food wherever I go. I have a job with the EDC and grants that support my research."

Raf sighs.

"If I don't want to eat alone, my mama and abuela will feed me in Jasper, or Mrs Darby will. On Mars I can eat with Charlie at Utopia Planitia. It's sweet of you, but I do not need you to buy me a lifetime supply of canned glop. That stuff isn't really even good for us except as an occasional thing when we're too busy to get something better."

esquivelle

This is not Raf. They left themselves logged in. Which is something they should know better than to do when Rumble and I are around. Go to Raf's amazon wishlist and buy them the brown pirate dress so they will stop borrowing mine all the time. Thank you. It is a public service. If they don't stop borrowing it the shoulders and chest are going to get really messed up because I have big boobs and they don't but they have wide shoulders and I don't. RIP the elastic in my dress. only you can save it!!!!! -miko

@formsuperion

#Miko Nakadai | esquivelle #this is not her blog #but she doesn't care #Silverbolt | formsuperion

"Silverbolt, when I'm on Sanctuary, I eat with the rest of the humans in their commissary. When I'm in my apartment in Tsukuba Science City, I also have plenty of food. I can afford food wherever I go. I have a job with the EDC and grants that support my research."

Raf sighs.

"If I don't want to eat alone, my mama and abuela will feed me in Jasper, or Mrs Darby will. On Mars I can eat with Charlie at Utopia Planitia. It's sweet of you, but I do not need you to buy me a lifetime supply of canned glop. That stuff isn't really even good for us except as an occasional thing when we're too busy to get something better."

#Silverbolt | formsuperion #oh no spaghettios #no really no

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this is not a diary and I am not okay