Dr.Sammy

Today started a little weirdly. I was sitting at the table and having breakfast with my mum when all of the sudden the chair broke. My ass on the floor. I have never laughed so hard but I also don’t underestand how???? I wasn’t moving on it or anything. One minute I’m sitting on a chair and the next the chair is no longer beneath me. Wtf.

I went to “work” and got out an hour earlier. Managed to send an email to my doctor so i can get my blood work done before i leave for South Korea. Booked my tickets for Germany and Poland so that is out of the way.

I’m leaving for Spain in two says but for some reason I’m not too excited. I’m actually really nervous.

My plans of finishing the thesis are out of the window but on the good note I’m kind of out of my reading slump. Currently listening to yellowface by Rebecca Kuang and though it’s not necessarily what I was expecting I’m glad I’m listening to a book instead of doomscrolling in my free time. Today I checked my phone only one hour after I woke up so that’s a win

Last couple of days have been heavy for no particular reason. I feel like i’m falling behind again.

Anxiety has spiked up again, tomorrow i have a sushi date with g and she always for some reason makes me anxious i dont even know why i still hang out with her. My anxiety gets so bad that i cant even sleep.

Someone younger than me graduate again today and obviously i feel shit about me still being stuck with my thesis. My brother is getting on my nerves and my parents arw back next week which their problems are back too to stress me.

14-12-2024

Today was lovely. At times I felt angry with my father (but that’s like my daily routine lol), but overall it was an ideal Saturday and I wish mum was with us.

Went to the farmer’s market this morning with my sister. Wasn’t sure about going because i’m quite sick these day but getting some fresh air was worth it.

Afterwards we went to the book shop and I bought not one but TWO books. Treat yourself baby. Can’t even begin to explain the joy buying books for myself brings me.

The afternoon was quite relaxing, baked some chocolate muffins and they turned out so good. 👌

The vegetarian by Han Kang has been on my reading list for so long I’m happy I finally got it. Il Lunedì ci ameranno by Najat el hachmi was a random pick but I believe it was calling me. Picked it up saw the author had the same name as my mother and is a feminist. Bought it immediately.

11-12-2024

These days have been super busy and I am super tired. My dad got back home yesterday and I’m not too happy about this, I wish mum was back instead.. I miss her.

To lighten up the mood a little I decided to buy a Christmas tree and decorate it with my sister, though we never put up a tree. It’s not big but it makes a cosy atmosphere. We added some harry potter and hamtaro action figures.

We also thought about putting some polaroids, but using happy family pictures when this family is not happy at all just felt like polluting the tree. We went for some kpop cards instead lol. Gotta love NCT.

I’ve been procrastinating some bureaucratic stuff and that is giving me so much anxiety. Every night I tell myself I’ll do it in the morning and then I never do, it’s been 3 weeks now.

I just want to rest. Every year the most wonderful time of the year just turns into a living hell for us.

07-12-2024

Today was really really cold. Freezing.

Wanted to go to the farmers’ market this morning but couldn’t get out of bed because of how cold it was. It rained a bit and it says it might snow tonight.

The whole day was grey, but I promised my sister we would do something together so I took her to the shopping center and then we stopped for cappucino and pastries. Visited a book shop because she was looking for a manga she wants to gift her school friend for Christmas. We then went groceries shopping and headed back home. Made lasagna for dinner.

Did some planning and kept my kindle close so I could keep reading my book instead of doom scrolling.

05/12/2024

Today was slow. By that I mean that I did a lot, but none of it was for my progress lol.

I woke up late and I had to run some errands for my mum so that took me all morning. Made lunch for my sister and then I had to head out because I was meeting with a family friend at her doctors’ appointment. She’s pregnant and still has some difficulties speaking Italian so I accompanied her in case she didn’t understand everything the doctor said.

Got back home and started cleaning, still no idea what’s going on for dinner. I feel like A SINGLEEE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS

Managed to get my nails done a few days ago, I love them and they make me feel so cosy and happy.

A pigeon flew in through the garden door this morning. Luckily she (I assume it’s a she lol) wasn’t injured and I managed to catch her and set her free before the cats could get her.

For this evening, I plan on finishing cleaning, hot shower and harry potter movie.

📖 Kafka in the shore by Murakami (though I haven’t picked it up in a week)

25-11-2024

Today felt a little bit like Sunday. Again. And I hate Sundays.

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning and therapy in the afternoon and I swear I must have been high on life when i scheduled both on the same day. I really didn’t want to go to either one, especially therapy. I know I need it and I know eventually I’ll see the benefits but I struggle so much to go and I cry every single time ughhh.

Skipped the gym and I’ve only managed to turn my laptop on, needless to say no work was done today.

But i’ve helped my little sister with her French presentation and I hope to do some reading before bed.

In the pictures is my lovely Minou and the hot chocolate I had yesterday afternoon with my mom and sister. 💕

Book I’m currently reading: Kafka on the shore by Murakami